To expect my kids to be nice to me when I pick them up from school?

[reallyfedupnow]

I have just lost it with my 2 youngest kids. It seems every day when I pick em up from school all i get is bad behaviour & disobedience. Feel like, why should I bother, let em go to a childminder or summat and let them have all the hassle. It starts with them shoving thier bookbags,lunch boxes,jackets at me. Then they run off and I have to yell and pray they wont run into a car. I just want the ground to swallow me up. The attitude they have nowadays. I also have a son 9 years younger and he was never like this!!!

Not younger,sorry, he is 9 years older!!!

Feel the same. Asked DD1 (sweetly) how her day had been.

She replied:

"Oh it was FINE!!!!! Stop talking to me! I am tired!!"

She is already having a time out for kicking her baby sister and it's only 4.08

SIGH

I too am struggling with this one - I have been putting it down to the stress of having to be good/listen/co-operate in a group etc that schools is for them vs. the fact they then have to let out this stress so us parents cop it!

I keep on telling myself it's a life skill they are having to learn and it takes a while - but it's so bloody tiring and why do we have to take all the flak?

Best just to say hello and leave it at that. If there's anything to ask/say wait until they've eaten something and had a run about, IME

I have this too. Someone said to me they reckon kids are getting worse by the generation. As you didnt have this with your older son perhaps they are right.

"kids are getting worse by the generation" wtf!!!!

who said that then, someone a generation older than you?

The parents have got better by the generation though. I mean, how many people do you know who send their kids up chimneys and down pits.

I thinkk it was Aristotle that said that or certainly words to that effect.

Kids are tired after school and that makes them grumpy. Dd is a nightmare after school until she has had something to eat. I look round and see that lots of her friends are the same. I'l bet I was too when I was that age. Still am when had a bad day at work.

Have you tried feeding 'em? I have a tub with sultanas or something similar in my bag & give them to DD as she comes out of school before she even gets on her bike. Otherwise she sulks, moans and whinges all the way home. In general, the more food I provide before starting home, the better the results.

Do you think we are right thou to make excuses for bad behaviour by saying oh they must be tired? My elder son never gave me half as much grief as these younger two! I think the comment about generations could ring true for me.

Takver just seen your sultanas idea. Will try that. Something healthy that wont ruin their appetite. Thanks.

I agree, i do think i often use tiredness as an excuse for badbehaviour and tbh I've had enough of it!
Last week I stopped DS going to athletics. If he was too tired for a polite hello after school then he was too tired for athletics, imo.
I do try and not take snacks to school, tho we do have quite a long (whingey at times!) walk home so I do sometimes.
It has been a long term, 8 weeks from Sept til half term and I can really see my 2 flagging now!

Not sure about the snack idea now!

Don't carry their stuff for them. I have a rule that I'll carry one thing, and that's all. I find being treated like a beast of burden makes me lose it completely.

A snack does help, but so does pointing out through gritted teeth that you're not a slave, I find.

To be fair, the reason I provide a snack is that we have a 2 mile cycle home with a 120 metre climb.
Come to think of it, its not only DD, if I haven't eaten anything since lunch I get unreasonably cross and snappy too.
Luckily there is a bakery part way up the hill that does very nice currant buns .

Snacks are very important. If you start from a theoretical perspective of "I want you to be polite even when you're hungry" then life will be much harder than if you shove some orange juice and sultanas into them.

I find the "if you're too tired to speak nicely you're too tired for television and need to go for a rest in bed" works well.

DS in Yr 3 now and it amazes me how many parents carry all their children's stuff. DS carries his own rucksack on his back, I am not a packhorse!
Makes me laugh if he has a friend home for tea and they come out of school and just hold their bag out to me! Harsh in our house, they not only have to carry their own bag, they also have to walk home too!

Brilliant advice everyone, thanks. I think I will do the small snack idea and get them to take their rucksacks so they can easily carry all their stuff.

Low blood sugar can make my daughter very tetchy. I have slices of bread ready in the toaster for the second she's through the door.

Just to let you all know thanks for the wonderful advice yesterday. The boys put all their stuff in their backpacks and carried them to and from school. Felt great to have my hands free for once! I took a small box of raisins for them eat on the way home which seemed to help with their mood. Lets hope it continues. Thanks again. xx

The backpacks do really cheer one up, don't they. It's not just the actual carrying, it's the idea that that's all one's good for. And looking 'bemused' at great big kids who hold out their stuff to you and then look most put out that you won't take it is really good fun.

I think they may have started a craze as one of the other boys has asked his Mum if he could bring his stuff in a backpack.

great! am pleased for you.