To call the police on my nanny.

[MothertoJandM]

She has only recently started with us and seemed lovely, the kids adore her but I am seriously concerned about how she is looking after them.
The last straw was today when I came home from a busy days campaigning to find the hosue filled with strange men dancing around and the kids were filthy.
Previously she has taken them horseracing and ds says she let them ride on a horse with no helmet or anything.
DH asked her to explain herself and she refused.

He did ask her to leave yesterday but she is so manipulative that she convinced himto take the children into work with him, he has a very important job in the city. Well, she had convinced the children to give all their money to street beggars and they were so badly behaved in his workplace that he has been called in for a meeting tonight to "discuss" it.

I am at my wits end and obviosuly we will have to sack her but should the police be warned about how she looks after the children in her care?

With a little bit of blimmin' luck he'll be back. Dont worry.

Was that your nanny and children dancing on my smokey chimney? Lock her up I say! Child labour laws and all that!

Weather report for Cherry Tree Lane says wind's on the change, coming in from the north.
Think you will find your nanny asking you for relocation costs in the near future.
I'd consult with the fly thread lot - can they click their fingers spit spot to dance those building blocks away?

I am related to the bank. Inside information as oppose to dealing!

Gives OP a round of applause. Thanks for making my morning.

I don't think you should call the police - shouldn't you be out campaigning for women's rights or something?

Looking at the mess around me, your nanny said:

In every job that must be done
There is an element of fun (yeah right...)
you find the fun and snap!
The job's a game (I am snapping my fingers but those damn toys are NOT marching into the cupboard or into the boxes on their tod)

And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake (in terms of mess maybe)
A lark! (I wish) A spree! It's very clear to me (you think so? enlighten me!)

All wishful thinking. Report her to the police for fraud.

That jolly chimney sweep who "befriended" your nanny seems very suspicious to me. His accent is extremely strange; keeps slipping into an odd almost American style.

I hate to tell you this but she is a nun on her days off.

Call the police - now! Terrible cockney accent, which I believe is a crime?

Defence may be that it recovered in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Ah MothertoJandM I've been wanting to have a word with you for some time. You do realise you are a BAD mother don't you and this is all your fault - not your peerless nanny's?! What the hell were you thinking putting your politics before your children. Do you even know where the nursery is in your house?! FGS get your priorities straight!!

[[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YFjdMZ_h2Vw yer nanny is a game ole burd with tupperware tits and a deep voice

yer nanny is a game ole burd with tupperware tits and a deep voice

Well, I have had a horrible, horrible day.

My first inkling that something was wrong was when DH came home this morning singing and dancing and insisting we all go to the park to fly a kite, something he has never shown any interest in doing before. I went with him and the children just to keep an eye on him. At this point I started to worry that he had been drugged or something.

Over the course of day the rest of the story came out. Apparently, thanks to our nanny he found being fired fun and a laugh. He even told a really bad joke which made his boss laugh so much he had a stroke and died. Then, even though he had helped cause a run on the bank (unintentionally, but that's not how his work orignally saw it) and as good as killed his boss, he found the other members of the board in the park, also flying kites, and they offered hima full partnership.

I called our Doctor immediately and as of a few hours ago DH has been sectioned, along with the other members of the board, and a policeman, pending the results of drugs tests.
Our nanny was caught spinning along the road thinking her umbrella was talking to her and insisting she was flying. She has been arrested and charged with supplying ecstasy and lsd.
Her 'boyfriend' is actually an american and has been arrested and charged with parading a dodgy accent and suspicion of bad acting.

I think I may try another nanny agency, where did you find your lovely scottish lady Wouldyoucouldyou?

If you get the Scotish Bint, make sure you son't come home to a house smelling of burning rubber, that's all I'll say.

You have been warned

(too sleep deprived to contribute)

ach now if it is scottish nanny yer after i know a scary wee bachle dont teach that granny tae suck eggs

I wouldn't be too sure you're safely rid of this present one, anyway. Look out for flying kites, fireworks coming down etc etc.

this could use a bump imo

Have you tried Nanny Mcphee?

Ah stop fussing and have a spoonful of sugar.

@ Blandmum

That's Maria in Sound of Music not Mary Poppins

Id hire her in an instance- jumping into chalk paintings and laughing on the ceiling ....my dc would love it :O

I wouldn't dip. She could pack your whole house in her bag and fly off over the roof tops before you can say Spit Spot.
The womans a common criminal.