To call the police on my nanny.

[MothertoJandM]

She has only recently started with us and seemed lovely, the kids adore her but I am seriously concerned about how she is looking after them.
The last straw was today when I came home from a busy days campaigning to find the hosue filled with strange men dancing around and the kids were filthy.
Previously she has taken them horseracing and ds says she let them ride on a horse with no helmet or anything.
DH asked her to explain herself and she refused.

He did ask her to leave yesterday but she is so manipulative that she convinced himto take the children into work with him, he has a very important job in the city. Well, she had convinced the children to give all their money to street beggars and they were so badly behaved in his workplace that he has been called in for a meeting tonight to "discuss" it.

I am at my wits end and obviosuly we will have to sack her but should the police be warned about how she looks after the children in her care?

lol...that film was great. but you know if my dh dressed up as a woman and put on a scottish accent...i'd still know it was him..

Someone's got my sense of humour, that I've lost, rather rusty skills showing here...

Yes, but you failed to declare that your children caused A RUN ON THE BANK!!!!!!!!!!! (Quite fitting in the current economic climate).

But chin up girl. You'll be flying kites with your DH and singing:

Let's go fly a kite, Up to the highest height and send it soaring, right up through the atmosphere (hahahahaha) up where the air is clear (hahahahaha) Oh, let's go fly a kite!

That's all the policeman will say, when he uses YOUR phone to report your dh missing........

You have your nanny to that for all this.

Brilliant OP. Love it

Am starting to worry now, DH went in for his meeting and hasn't come home since. I called the bank and was told that he has been fired

My maid thinks he has probably 'done away with 'imself' but she is a flighty sort and prone to exaggeration.

What should I do?

soon2be3...how did you know he was missing already.....

spit spot.

You haven't mentioned that her unappetising boyfriend is also a vandal and has been seen 'tagging' the pavements with his graffiti pictures. Mind you, he could turn out to be the next Banksy.

lovin it.... MORE

Oh, and I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but she has abandoned all formal lessons with them - that's why she had time to take them horseracing. I don't much fancy their chances now of passing the entrance exam for St Cake's.

But her boyfriend is also the big boss at the bank...

When my dh got the sack from the bank they punched through his bowler hat and turned his umbrella up the wrong way. How will he ever get another job without this vital equipment?

It's on Sunday on ITV I think.

i do hope your dh is ok, doesnt lose his job for a start, have his hat punched through -
doh,
cross posts...

have they cleaned any chimineys yet?

op i think you should march with a placard for a start, women's rights and all that [shcok]

We're getting a bit desperate for a nanny for our children, she must love singing and not be too frightened of standing up to nasty nazis.

I'll take her off your hands if you like. Does she have a passport?

might she fall in love wiht you mrvontrapp, and all your 7 children

Just read the OP to my DH and when he stops ranting about 'people leaving their children with dangerous people and how checks should be made more often' I will let him in on the joke.

Lock Mary Poppins up indeed. Now hes on about bringing back the birch

Can she sweep down a bannister non handed? That should be a pre requisite in all nanny interviews IMHO.

It took me singing each reference to my OH before he got it! [headbang]

I am sooooooooooo dim - I didn't twig 4 ages! Did hear the funniest joke I'd heard in ages - Where the man ran over a lady's cat and he went and told the lady and that he would replace her cat and she said "But how good are you at catching mice?!!"

MsPontipine can you now say something REALLY sad to get me off the ceiling?

I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith...

From what I hear it sounds like she has form for stealing from fairgrounds!! Maybe you should take her out with you and tie her up to some lamp-posts although tbh she doesn't sound the sort to be a wohm, she's probably wondering why you're not mothering your own chidren

He's still not home I am just waiting for our friendly neighbourhood policeman to stroll past on his morning walk and I shall ask him what to do.

Am now wondering whether I shall need to let the maid and cook go to, they are both jumping around singing ridiculous songs at this unseemly time of the morning, it really isn't on.

she sounds supercalafragalisticexpialidocious!