To think this childminder was being bang out of order?

[VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm]

Just picked DS up from nursery. One of his classmates was picked up by the childminder and I overheard the conversation as we walked behind them.

CM: Your mum has given you spaghetti bolognese for lunch.
BOY:Ok.
CM: It's not okay really, why did she give you that? It's not the best idea for lunch, what do I have to do now?
BOY:I don't know.
CM: Well, it's not helping me is it? Nice of her to think about me when she made your lunch. You're going to have to sit in the highchair, like that babies, in the kitchen, no way I'm having you sat in my living room on my cream carpet eating that.

Anyway, she was still going on at him when she walked off.
Surely she should keep her gob shut and mention it to the mother?
AND if she can't cater for a child to have their lunch then she should reconsider her job?

Sorry. I know it's none of my business but I felt really sorry for this kid. He hadn't done anything wrong yet was getting a combination of a lecture and someone slagging off his mum!

in fact - I wouldn't say anything of substance in the note - I'd just say who you are and ask her to call you

Could you use the note as a means of having child and parent round?

Near oxford sunnyshine.
She is df registered.
I am having a halloween party, will invite the boy, can maybe bring it up with his parents then.

poor little boy

cm sounds totally vicious

dd goes to a cm and i have to provide lunch - i often pack spag bol or similar - now i'm worried...!

agree that you have to let the boy's mum know somehow but needs to be worded carefully i would have thought. good luck, hope he gets out of there...

me too. maybe it was the same person. maybe we know each other!

if the CM collects from the same nursary as you then they would have her details.
Ask them to pass on your complaint about her to the Cming bods - not sure who they are, local council?

she should be spoken to about this.

just looked at your picture and dont recognise you. does the school start with S?

Yes! Ends in wold.

HRHMamazon unfortunately the nursery will not get involved because it wasn't a staff member who heard the comments. The best approach would be to ask the nursery staff what her name is, just say your friend is looking for a CM. If you go onto the council website for childcare provision you should be able to call and get her number. If you ring her and say you are looking for childcare and ask for her EY number (which she is obliged to give you so you could check her reports) you can then contact OFSTED and make a complaint.

Let the mother know.

YANBU Sounds not only abusive (as if she was looking for any excuse to put him in the highchair out of her convenience, to humiliate him, or both) but also dangerous: surely high chairs aren't meant to hold 4 year olds

yanbu, people like this woman are one of the reasons I refused to leave my children with anyone outside the family, and only worked part time.

I would tell the mum as I bet this CM is a two faced cow to boot

God you ought to have seen my KITCHEN floor when my mindees have spag bol, that I have cooked for lunch!!!

I have had three 18month - 2.5 eating at a child size table, and it get everywhere.

CM's expect this, if they don't, they are in the wrong job.

Definitely have a word with the parents, and ring Ofsted.

MTIE(T), thankfully the TA is a friend she would show me the mother is she was at the school, but apparently the mother doesn't do pick-ups.
I'm having a party at halloween so will hopefully get to speak then. If not then at least I've spoken to the school.

Tell the mother, she is a bully, sounds like she is angry and takes her anger out on her charges because she is emotionally inept to deal with it herself.

Dont hesitate tell the mother and dont apologise for it, be clear about what you heard and how upsetting it was to hear. If the CM pulls you tell her the same thing.

Ah thats ok then VS. So long as you have a way to tell the parents/make a complaint to OFSTED about her. Sounds like one that I knew who thankfully doesn't CM anymore. I got the children who she had, 1 was a nervous wreck and the other was silent (including silent tantrums ) Awful for the poor boy and really damaging in the long run

Thanks T.
I am doing right by reporting her yh?

Def doing the right thing.

(BTW can I report T for making more mess on my Kitchen floor than all the kids put together)

howsat then? what mess?!!

Yes, VS, definately doing the right thing. She doesnot have the boys welfare in mind, only money by the sound of it.

T is definately befuddled now as she was nowhere near confuseds kitchen today

Did I say it was today

This is shocking stuff. I know some really lovely childminders, but I also take my children to a city farm which is used by a lot of childminders (all these children are pre-school age). I've heard this particular group of women on so many occasions slagging off the children's mothers in front of the children, which I think is bad enough, but the worst (IMO) was the time I heard this one:

CM1 - 'And the clothes they send them in sometimes!'

CM2 - 'Oh I knowwwwww... I just change them into spare stuff at my house and tell their mum they spilt juice on their own stuff'

OK, I know it's a hard job, but this is way overstepping the mark.

I shall be having words with DD's friend next week.

I am horrified at her speaking to that poor lad. What the hell is wrong with her?

I wouldn't even need to consider whether to tell his mum or not as I would want to be told.

The mum will know, the TA is going to find the best way for me to tell her.
If I have to put a private sealed envelope in the child's pocket, I will.