To think this childminder was being bang out of order?

[VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm]

Just picked DS up from nursery. One of his classmates was picked up by the childminder and I overheard the conversation as we walked behind them.

CM: Your mum has given you spaghetti bolognese for lunch.
BOY:Ok.
CM: It's not okay really, why did she give you that? It's not the best idea for lunch, what do I have to do now?
BOY:I don't know.
CM: Well, it's not helping me is it? Nice of her to think about me when she made your lunch. You're going to have to sit in the highchair, like that babies, in the kitchen, no way I'm having you sat in my living room on my cream carpet eating that.

Anyway, she was still going on at him when she walked off.
Surely she should keep her gob shut and mention it to the mother?
AND if she can't cater for a child to have their lunch then she should reconsider her job?

Sorry. I know it's none of my business but I felt really sorry for this kid. He hadn't done anything wrong yet was getting a combination of a lecture and someone slagging off his mum!

Tell the Mother - you anbu.

I have a bad memory of a Childminder from when I was young, she told me my Mum had no manners as she had not taught me to use a fork properly yet. I was only about 4 and was trying to eat peas at the time. It is the only thing I remember about her.

Blimey if anyone heard my CM talking to DD like that I would want to know so I could remove dd from her care. Poor little mite.

I hate hearing adults not let things drop with children. Esp when it's not even their fault

What I don't understand is what the big deal is of having him sit at the table instead of on the carpet baffled!

VS - you must do something. I am just horrified at the thought of a carer saying that kind of crap to a child - of any age, let alone 4.

More than that though, it sounds like she's taking out a major amount of stress and career disatisfaction on this child - I don't mean it sounds psychotic, but it does sounds a little bit like psychological game playing and power play.

I don't like the sound of it AT ALL, and as a mother, I'd be astonishingly grateful if you were to make me aware of this situation as I'd have my DC's out of this woman's care in a heartbeat.

Especially that bit about sitting, LIKE THE BABIES. She is trying to make him feel that because of something inconsiderate his mum did, he must be made to do something that is humiliating.

It's horrid.

What annoys me is that she insinuates highchairs are for babies. i know a 4 and a half year old who has only just come out of his!

she sounds like a right bitch

that poor child

def tell the mum your concerns

YANBU it was out of order. If she doesn't like what parents provide for their children she should offer to provide meals for them (as I did). At nearly 4yrs it is humiliating to feed in a highchair . That said a CM who was any good would ensure a child of that age could eat reasonably well without a huge amount of mess and have the gumption to put a plastic mat down on said floor

You are nbu. What a cow, tell ofsted too.

I'd be a bit surprised by parents having to supply food for a 4 year old to the CM, unless there were dietary requirements to deal with (eg allergies to gluten or milk, or wanting kosher or halal or something) - and spaghetti bolognaise seems an unlikely meal for those circumstances. And yes, why does she feed kids on the sitting room carpet?

Please tell the mother.

The poor child

Yes, am also surprised about supplying food. My sis's CM does all the food. All the kids eat the same, she just mashes it for her DS. It's all in the price.

elkiedee my CM doesn't provide evening meals because she had so many different allergies in at one point it became difficult for her. Apparently she only does sandwiches at lunch time, but Tink always smells of tomato (sauce as in bolognaise type as she won't eat tomatoes) or curry and tends to have an orange chin! I think she's such a good eater that they like feeding her up.

That is awful Are you sure she is a childminder? That sounds. Can you get in touch with the child's parents and let them know or mention it to nursery? Poor child.

please, please, please tell him mum. That's horrible, disgusting behaviour. So mean. I felt quite tearful reading that and thinking how much that boy must want his mum, while that harpy is going on at him and bitching about his mum. Wicked. Then tell the mum to report the bitch to Ofsted. No excuse at all for that sort of behaviour.

I am stunned by7 this. i regularly had children who were sent with tins of tomato soup or pasta bolognaise. I put an old shower curtain on the floor and wrapped a tea towel round them. easy.
CMs aren't supposed to humiliate a child in their care and she has done so by making the comment about high chairs and babies

What a horrible woman. Do tell the mum. I'd be horrified if my child was having to listen to crap like that. I'd definitely want to know.

MTIE, I was hoping a CM would post, thanks.
I have spoken to the TA, my friend and she said she'll see what the teacher says.
I shall be talking to the other child who I know sees her soon, and will put a note in the boys book bag for his mother when I drop DS off on monday.

Well done VS. She sounds totally toxic.

I'm glad someone like you overheard her going on at the poor little guy and was brave enough to out her.

Good VS, She should not be looking after children. I wonder if she is registered? She sounds like an illegal one tbh i.e. unregistered. Lots of people choose this because its the cheap option. Unfortunately they haven't got a leg to stand on if it goes wrong- nothing that OFSTED can do.

Definitely say something - if she is moaning at him about that, she is probably moaning at him constantly about stuff that is not his fault. There are probably plenty of things parents do that vaguely annoy cms and vice versa, but no adult should be taking that out on the child. She does sound a bit odd and ott.

I have a cream carpet but it pre-dates the Cming!!

This CM has a screw loose. Seriously.

I am a cm too, and would never say things like that to a child - no matter what the parent had done to annoy me, I would take it up with the parent in a polite and professional manner ! Not a poor littleboy who had no idea what she is going on about except that it is making him feel bad. Not a good cm at all!

where are you? i heard a very simalar conversation today too!!

be careful re the note in the book bag idea - the cm might read it! at least make sure it's in a sealed envelope