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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my son airbrushed?

71 replies

missjennipenni · 08/10/2008 11:14

Ive mentioned before on here about my sons birthmark (pic on my profile), I love it as its part of him, its just other peoples commenst that irk me.

Anyway, we recently had some professional photos taken of him, now that he has reached 6 months. We went for the viewing, an dthey were adorable (of course!) but his brithmark was quite promininet because he was lying on his tummy & lifting up his head (straining causes it to be brighter)

The photographer asked us if we would like it air-brushed out of the final photo. Caught off guard, I said yes, thinking it would be nice to have a photo where his birthmark isnt the first thing you notice.

Now Ive had time to think about it though, I feel terrible! What if it upsets him when he is older, that i wanted it airbrushed out? Or will other people think I am being vain by doing it?

The mark itself will probably disappear in the next year or so, and we have hundreds of photos where you can see it. DP thought it would be nice to have one without it.

What would you have done? Am i a mean mummy for airbrushing his imperfection?

OP posts:
NotDoingTheHousework · 08/10/2008 11:16

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DraculaNeedsArteries · 08/10/2008 11:16

No...I can see both sides of teh argument TBH.

If it is more prominent in teh photo that it is in RL could you not go for a compromise and have it airbrushed so that it is less prominent, less dominent but still there?

PeterCushi0n · 08/10/2008 11:17

I wouldn't have the birthmark airbrushed out.
I would have been very annoyed that the photographer had suggested it, tbh.

Mum2OliverJames · 08/10/2008 11:18

if it will disappear in the next year or so then you will get loads of pics with him without it and may look back and wish you had kept it

Sorry, i think YABU and i think you will regret it, cant you call them and change your mind?

Marne · 08/10/2008 11:18

I would'nt airbrush it, its a part of him (he's lovely BTW)

I had dd airbrushed on her nursery photo because she had a huge spot on her chin.

toobusytothink · 08/10/2008 11:18

No you're not a mean mummy - you wouldn't be worrying if you were. But personally I don't think I'd have done it. It's not really a photo of him then is it?

A birthmark is part of him and I'm sure you love it on him. Warts and all I say.

belgo · 08/10/2008 11:18

I think it would be a rather odd thing to do, if it's visible on all youir other photos and then to have it airbrushed out of one.

Howlingbellyofbeelzebub · 08/10/2008 11:18

where is the birth mark? is it that little red mark on his forehead in the photos? I think it's a bit strange air-brushing it out - he is perfect, birth mark or not. You cannot make a 6 month baby more perfect, they are born perfect. My dd is disabled and uses leg splints, we would never get her to take them off for photos or anything as they are part of her, her 'imperfection' is her and I want to remember her in the future exactly as she is.

BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky · 08/10/2008 11:19

I don't think you're mean and it is totally understandable but I don't think you should airbrush it. It is part of him as NDTH said. Do you know anyone who is handy with a computer who could airbrush it out on a less important photo so that you have one or two without it but not the posh ones from the photographer.

MascaraOHara · 08/10/2008 11:19

I had exactly the same issue with dd's (on her forehead). They asked if I wanted it removing. I said no..

it was part of her at that point in her life. it's not something for her to be embarrassed about it's not something to be hidden.

Hers has nearly gone now but when she is a grown up and looks back it will be there as part of her.. I would never want her to look back and think I was bothered by it either.

It's your descision of course and I would understand if you did go for it but doesn't it make you feel a bit sad.. that you are removing a part of him fromthe picture? I think that's hohw I felt iykwim

bruhaha · 08/10/2008 11:19

hi - my ds has a birthmark on his nose - we got pro photos done for his 1st birthday and i took a wee bit of concealer to try and make it less red but it didn't work. My ds mark will hopefully go in the next year or two as well.

It's a tricky one - could you not get one photo with it airbrushed and one without? then you can compare and see how you feel.

RinTinTin · 08/10/2008 11:20

A difficult one, and i can see where you are coming from on this, BUT it's part of him the same as his smile, his laughter and his tears. And i'm sure you would never want to erase any of those would you.

So i'm sorry but yes i personally think you are being unreasonable.

Icantbelieveitsnotbitter · 08/10/2008 11:20

mmm reminds me of my wedding photos - Kodak offered to superimpose my mum (deceased) onto the group shots for me !! WTF !!

Howlingbellyofbeelzebub · 08/10/2008 11:20

I think the airbrushing is all a ruse to get more money out of people as well - last year dd's school photos came with an offer to airbrush out snotty noses (now that I would consider!) but they charged a couple of quid to do it, crazy as it's only a couple of minutes on photoshop to sort it out.

hollyandnoah · 08/10/2008 11:21

I wouldn't photoshop my son. I think i'd be pretty angry with the photographer for suggesting it. I think anyway. But i dont know what it is like, so if my ds had a birthmark on his face i might feel different.
I don't know.. it might make your ds feel bad in a few years, if the photo is still on display and he notices that his birthmark is missing.

BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky · 08/10/2008 11:24

Blimey ICBINB, that's awful about your mum. What a stupid thing to ask!

more · 08/10/2008 11:25

No I don't think you are being mean, or vain because of it. It is going to be interesting for you to see what he would look like it without it.

DumbledoresGirl · 08/10/2008 11:26

Being dumb here but I can't actually see for sure where the birthmark is. Though I am sure the professional photograph, being superior quality, would show it more than in your photo on your profile.

I can understand why you would not want to see it, especially as it will go in time and then it will NOT be part of your ds anymore. I don't see it as a permanent feature. However, it is there now, and later on, when he no longer has it and you feel less conscious of it and more nostalgic about his babyhood, you might wish the photograph reflected who he truly is now.

But I do understand you. When my ds2 was about 4 weeks old his face came out in an horrendous rash. He looked really awful for a couple of weeks and I did not take any photos of him for those 2 weeks and now I regret not having photos of him in all his stages of early babyhood.

nailpolish · 08/10/2008 11:27

Icantbelieveitsnotbitter - OMG that is truly unbelievable

FioFio · 08/10/2008 11:29

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nailpolish · 08/10/2008 11:33

jennipenni

plese dont feel bad. you were caught off guard - you arent being mean

phoen them and say youve changed your mind. i think youd regret it if you got the wee lad airbrushed

Littlefish · 08/10/2008 11:34

MissJP - my dd had a small birthmark on her leg, about the size of my thumb print which faded to nothing by the time she was 18 months old. I was looking back through her photos recently and can only find one photo with it on, because it was right at the top of her leg. I know this is going to sound really silly, but I miss that birthmark! It was part of her as a small baby and therefore, part of our life together. I'm so glad I've got that one photo so we can talk about it when she asks. I really wouldn't have wanted it removed from any photos.

misdee · 08/10/2008 11:34

YABU

it will fade. why airbrush out a part of him?

dd1 had terrible eczema as a baby, (think a cawling scab, and thats pretty close to what she looked like most of the time tbh) but i still have loads of pics of her. one was done 'professionally' and i adore it. even with her scabby forehead being very visable.

FioFio · 08/10/2008 11:36

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NannyNanny · 08/10/2008 11:37

I think airbrushing it out is ridiculous. Do you have a problem with the birthmark?
Your son is a normal boy, not a model. Photos are supposed to show what people actually looked like. Can you imagine if his birthmark didn't disappear, and he then sees the photo of himself without it. You are effectively saying there is something wrong with him!