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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my son airbrushed?

71 replies

missjennipenni · 08/10/2008 11:14

Ive mentioned before on here about my sons birthmark (pic on my profile), I love it as its part of him, its just other peoples commenst that irk me.

Anyway, we recently had some professional photos taken of him, now that he has reached 6 months. We went for the viewing, an dthey were adorable (of course!) but his brithmark was quite promininet because he was lying on his tummy & lifting up his head (straining causes it to be brighter)

The photographer asked us if we would like it air-brushed out of the final photo. Caught off guard, I said yes, thinking it would be nice to have a photo where his birthmark isnt the first thing you notice.

Now Ive had time to think about it though, I feel terrible! What if it upsets him when he is older, that i wanted it airbrushed out? Or will other people think I am being vain by doing it?

The mark itself will probably disappear in the next year or so, and we have hundreds of photos where you can see it. DP thought it would be nice to have one without it.

What would you have done? Am i a mean mummy for airbrushing his imperfection?

OP posts:
nailpolish · 08/10/2008 11:37

i think saying the OP is "unreasonable" is a bit much

she is upset

nailpolish · 08/10/2008 11:38

nannynanny calm down
the OP is upset

mabanana · 08/10/2008 11:38

I might consider it personally - at least to fade it a little maybe, as things you don't notice at all in real life, like a birthmark, can look disproportionately obstrusive in a still image and actually be more a feature than they are in reality. But it's totally up to you. It doesn't say anything bad about you.

misdee · 08/10/2008 11:39

is that mark commanly known as a stork bite?

Gettingbiggernow · 08/10/2008 11:42

Ach, don't be so hard on yourself OP!! It's only a photo after all - it's not like you're posting to say you can't bear your DS's birthmark.

How about having the pics printed in black and white. These should show up the birthmark less (if at all, I can hardly see it on your profile pics in fact would NOT have noticed if I wasn't looking out for it!! He is gorgeous BTW).

If you want the pics colour, why not have one done with a little fading rather than complete eradication of the birthmark?

Also - thinking ahead, if the birthmark IS to disappear in a few years then your DS might like to have a pic with it not in for the album (ie if you did a picture spread for his 21st birthday party, or his wedding - then him having to explain to all and sundry that he used to have a birthmark but doesn't now, could be tiresome!)

yomellamoHelly · 08/10/2008 11:42

I'd airbrush it so it was not as prominent. Just to tone it down iyswim. Not get rid of it, as others say it's part of him.

hippipotami · 08/10/2008 11:42

I would not airbrush it out. However, you said in your OP that it appears redder than it normally is because your ds is straining. So could you ask for it to be 'knocked back'/ made a little paler so it is still visible but not so overpowering. What I mean is - make it appear in the photo the way it appears in real life rather than darker/redder? That way the photo would be a true reflection of your beautiful boy (birthmark included) instead of a photo which overemphasises the birthmark?

I really hope what I try to say comes across. I am saying the birthmark is part of him, he is beautiful, but if the photo makes it more prominent than it really is, have the photo altered to a more 'true to life' shot.

BTW - he is adorable

hippipotami · 08/10/2008 11:43

Ay, YoMella said in one sentence what I needed 2 paragraphs for...

ledodgy · 08/10/2008 11:45

That is simply a stork mark two of mine had it and I thought nothing of it. It's part of him don't airbriush it out.

Gettingbiggernow · 08/10/2008 11:46

Its all personal Nannynanny.

I have an birthmark (relatively unobtrusive though) and personally I would not have minded if there were some pics taken of me that didnt show it - then the observed could focus on my big eyes/lustrous hair/cute smile etc etc instead.

hollyandnoah · 08/10/2008 11:51

if you wanted to do it yourself, you could use a red filter on your camera the birth mark wouldnt shop up.. but you'd need green lips (eyeshadow) or his lips would also vanish. Works with spots lol!
Your ds is lovely, i think the photographer was BU, because he put you on the spot like that. Were you thinking about it before he mentioned it?

MascaraOHara · 08/10/2008 11:58

In response to those who are mentioning the photographer... In my experience it's normal for photographers to ask, I think a lot of people probably take them up on the offer too.. the touching up has always been free ime.

One day I will get a pic of dd's and scan it to put on my profile for a while. hers is a neavis so was quite prominantly risen as well (prob about 1/4 inch which on a baby looks big!). I'll take a pic now as well for compare/contrast, I find it quite nice to look back

Original poster
missjennipenni · 08/10/2008 12:00

I know i will regret it, i regretted it as soon as i left the shop

Going to phone them and ask them not to airbrush it out! I was just shocked that they asked, and just said ok on impulse. I didnt really think about it (we were being shooed out the door at the time!)

Im not being charged extra for it, so hopefully they will just change my order!

OP posts:
Original poster
missjennipenni · 08/10/2008 12:06

Yes it is just a storkbite one, its not usually very obvious, but its very noticable in the picture because he is lifting his body/head up to look at the camera.

I am in no way ashamed of my sons birthmark, I love it as it is part of him!

We have literally hundreds of photos of him with it. I think it was just because i was put on the spot when asked. My first response was just "oh, i wonder what the photo would be like without it?" because it was so noticable (like i said, more so than usual). It was only afterwards i though "oh my goodness, what am i doing!"

and no, it hadnt even crossed my mind before it was mentio0ned to us! I have never felt tempted to airbrush any of our personal pics of him, even though i know how to do it He is perfect how he is.

OP posts:
jellybeans · 08/10/2008 12:13

My DD has a very simelar mark, it was more noticable as a baby but it is still there age 9 but less noticable, sometimes it goes brighter etc. I had one too and it was there till I was late teens and then disappeared. I would not airbrush it out, it is part of him, no kids are perfect and it may not fade till he is grown up. I have a friend whose ILs took photos and airbrushed out his large facial mole, she was very offended by it but never said anything.

DraculaNeedsArteries · 08/10/2008 12:13

"Yes it is just a storkbite one, its not usually very obvious, but its very noticable in the picture because he is lifting his body/head up to look at the camera"...

in that case ask if they can airbrus it to a more "natural" colour. Natural as in teh colour that it normally is when he isn't in that position.

I think that would be perfectly reasonable.

hollyandnoah · 08/10/2008 12:15

They will have all the originals still. My screen is a bit dodgy (dn used my laptop as a stage to tapdance on)I can see the photos but i cant make out the mark, your ds is lovely though!

Original poster
missjennipenni · 08/10/2008 12:21

Thank you to those who said he is lovely, i think so too

Think I might just ask them to tone it down a little bit. I havent phoned them yet, cant find the darn number lol! They said the print will take 2 weeks to do, so think I have time to change my order.

Thanks to all who responded

OP posts:
WorzselMummage · 08/10/2008 13:59

YABU.

My DD has a big birthmark on her lip, its a strawberry mark and very prominant.

She was a bridemaid last year for BIL, she looked STUNNING in her dress yet the photographer asked if we 'wanted anything doing with that' I almost swang for him.

You should be proud of your children whatever they look like.

MerkinFitter · 08/10/2008 14:08

She's gorgeous worzsel Id have been pissed off had the photographer asked like that!

Original poster
missjennipenni · 08/10/2008 14:10

she is a sweetie. How did you reply when they asked you?

OP posts:
callmeovercautious · 08/10/2008 14:12

He is georgeous DD had a storkbite too (although I prefer to call it an Angels Kiss). She is 2 now and you can hardly see it, only we notice it anymore. Unless she is ill and pale.

Personally I would not airbrush the storkbite. We are thinking of having our wedding pics airbrushed as DD has a scar on her head atm from a bad fall. Still undecided tbh!

I have had one shot of her airbrushed but for a different reason. It was a pro one done at Nursery, right after lunch when she had been fed tomoato sauce and her skin reacted to it. She had a bright red mouth and chin. I hadn't even known about it until I saw the proofs as the rash had gone by the time I collected her.

WorzselMummage · 08/10/2008 14:38

I just said No Thankyou. He was a nice bloke but seriously stupid, what a thing to ask !

WorzselMummage · 08/10/2008 14:44

she had a stork bite between her eyes whe she was born too and one on the back of her neck, i cant remember if thats called the same thing ? she has another strawberry mark on her wrist aswell lol .

Both stork bites vanished by about 18 months, the one between her eyes comes out when she's crying but thats it, they do go away in time.

I did think after the wedding incident if we should have had some with it removed but came to the conclusion that it wouldnt look like DD so we figured we'd make the right decision, it freaks me out when i see DD in a mirror because her lips look wrong.

She's having both the one on her lip and wrist removed next year as they have both gone down and left a pouch of saggy skin, i am dreading it.. i'm dreading her looking different

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