to think I am being treated differently for formula feeding?

[discriminatedagainst]

Name changed, don't want any of them to recognise me.

Of my NCT groups of 6 I am the only one who is formula feeding. I get on ok with most of the NCT girls but there is one who is a bit funny with me.

Anyway, we were at her house and two of the other babies were sick and it went on her sofa. "Oh don't worry my DS does that all the time" so they just wiped it with a muslin.

Anyway, my DS was sick and I said sorry and she made a huge fuss about it - went to get a bowl of water and some spray and a cloth to get it out and just looked really pissed off.

I really feel as though I am being singled out as DS is ff. AIBU?

I had a really similar problem when I had my 1st. I had an NCT group of 11 and all the babies were bf. Mine however was still losing weight at 12 days and got admitted and I ended up mixed feeding her after struggling to get ebf back. I was incredibly emotional about it. Big ff chip on shoulder.

Because the others were all bf the meet ups were often bf support groups really and I often felt left out. People would say all sorts of things that I took offense at where absolutely no offense was intended. I just kept making the effort and putting on a brave face thinking that the group was the only time I had for me and that I would get depressed without it. In the end (4 months down the line) I drifted away and spent more time with my family and other friends - with / without babies. I was out less often but so what.

I know some people stay in touch with NCT friends for ever and I expected to too. In the end most of them moved away from London and it all fell apart anyway.

Decide how many of the group you would be friends with long term and then consider if it's worth it.

I would have enjoyed my maternity leave much more if I had been a bit more selfish and honest with myself about how I enjoy spending my time.

the was just for sad that they made you feel this way.
good post sw.
totally agree, half the times mums go to these things because it's something they think they should do.
not because they want to.

discriminatedagainst whereabouts in sussex are you? I am in West Sussex very close to the airport .
I have the opposite prob with my NCT group as they are all FF/Mix feeding and I am exclusively BF and I have felt a bit funny in their company sometimes too.

DA I don't have CAT but if you are near me we could meet, I can give you my email

Re. the 'not a real mother unless you give birth naturally' cow woman ... she was a mum at DS's last school and pg with her 3rd child going on and on and on about how she had never had any pain relief and that it was all in the mindset of the woman blah blah ... When she said that I told her that it was a crap thing to say and that there was a time when I would have crumbled at such an insensitive comment. We laughed it off as I jokingly said, "Well at least my pelvic floor is still in tact and I won't smell of wee before my time" or something like that but I was taken aback ...
Her son was a foul mouthed annoying little oik too so natural childbirth doesn't guarantee nice children does it

Well said ghosty, glad you didn't let her get away with that...and no you're right whatever kind of birth/feeding you freely choose/have to choose it bears no resemblance to the character of your child

It's a terribly sensitive time, just after having a baby. Don't let this unpleasant lady spoil it for you. It is hard not to feel hurt at unnecessary comments direct at you and your baby though isn't it!

It has nothing to do with the NCT - she is just a bitch and would be where ever you had met her!

Well done ghosty! I'm currently being a fake mother to 4 children!

can't comment on the rest (well done for being brave enough to go to NCT group - I never could) but my DS is still breast fed at nearly 9 months and our closest friends are formula fed so I'm not a militant NCT type! ;) I give him formula from time to time to make sure he doesn't turn his nose up if I decide to stop BF and it smells and stains horribly compared to the breast milk.

I'm with the others though - if she makes you feel uncomfortable don't see her, or if you enjoy seeing the others smile sweetly at her when she is being patronising and know that one day she too will be covered in smelly baby vomit and rusk smeared down the sofa

discriminatedagainst, I would keep in touch with her for this reason: When your LO starts on solids, you can:
1/ feed him a mixture of pureed carrot and tomato shortly before visiting her. Make sure he is very, very full
2/ When you visit her, hold baby over couch and squeeze tummy. Ensuing tomato-and-carrot-puke will ensure that she never complains about formula-puke ever again!