To be unsettled by sight of mother/nanny stripping 4 year old girls in public?

[Sycamoretree]

Not sure if AIBU is the best place to post, but here goes. My DD (3) goes to baby ballet one afternoon a week. After her class, the 4 year olds go in. She's been going for 4 weeks now, and every week, withouth fail, there is a woman (mother or nanny, not sure) who strips two little girls (4ish) absolutely butt naked on a bench outside the church hall in order to get them ready for their glass. My heart leaps into my mouth every time. I suppose my objections are:

1. It's a bit nippy now, actually.
2. They are 4. Not 4 months. Why is she taking off their pants to do ballet? Why is she doing it when a gazzillion people are walking by. Specifically 7 year old school boys at it's 3.45 who are actually stopping to point and laugh. Why doesn't she wait until they're upstairs and chance them in the studio like everyone else?
3. Erm, that's it. They are literally standing head to toe naked in the street.

Am I over reacting. I get upset everytime I see it. I THINK she's a mum, this is just a hunch, because she's not really dressed in the practical way nannie's tend to be (i.e. she's in knee high boots with a bit of a heel, tights, skirt etc).

I'm actually hoping you all say IABU because then I can just try and relax about it.

if you find it odd then fine but, i would not bat an eyelid and or give it a seconds thought my dd 6 and ds 3 would spend all day naked if they could!!

YANBU.
Sounds like it is unecessary, and probably uncomfortable for these girls.

Goodness, I'm not judging anyone's clothes! I only mentioned it because I didn't really know whether she was their parent or carer, which IS a factor, and her clothes were a hint that she was their mother. I'm a mum - I wear heeled shoes and skirts! I was just noting that it's not normally something nannies would wear.

And I'm not worried in the least about paedophiles looking on, it's just cold and unnecessary and possibly a bit embarassing for the girls - but if you think not, then that's fine! It's not a big deal. My instant, gut reaction was one of shock, because it's not nice for anyone to be pointed at and laughed at in the street is it?

And I would strip DD off in the corridor of a class or whatever - it's not the same thing. Everyone there is there for the same thing, and crucially, it's inside and it's warm.

I'd think she was a bit ditzy (if there was somewhere else to change) but I wouldn't be in the least 'unsettled'.

7 yo DS and his friends wouldn't bat an eyelid, either, if they were walking past.

"have a word with the ballet teacher. "???

why would she care and what would she do about it?

It's a bit odd yes, but crikey, it's not a bleeding crime.

Scaredoflove - i don't think anything really bad will happen to them! LOL - I'm sorry if I have given the impression that I'm outraged - I'm not! I was just a bit shocked, that's all. I don't see why you would opt to do it this way if there's somewhere warm and private that's provided.

I just think being pointed and laughed at by three 7 year old boys whilst you're naked in the street at 4 might be, I dunno, less than ideal? It's the kind of thing you would possibly remember beyond the day it happened and not particularly enjoy the memory of, no?

Huw, agree. I don't remotely think it's my place, and neither could I be bothered to mention it to the teacher. I was just interested, barometer of parenting wise, whether i would be in the minority in my reaction. I confess, I was a little upset by it - it was an instant physical reaction - my heart went into my throat and I had a knot in my stomach - so sue me! I was interested to know if I was being oversensitive. It seems, possibly yes, and possibly no.

I wouldn't change my dd in the street in that way, it does seem a bit odd.

I would feel a bit sorry for the girls if she's still doing it in December, but quite honestly I think it's her business, not yours, and I don't think my DSs (aged 9 & 7) would even notice - they are both still quite happy to stip off in public when getting changed to go in an outdoor pool or the sea.

I bet she just thinks it's quicker and more convenient than having to manoeuvre around a crowded changing room. And possibly their schedule is such that she doesn't have the opportunity to take the girls home first to change them into their ballet things.

So no, it wouldn't "unsettle" me.

YAB a little unreasonable.

Many ballet teachers insist on no pants under leotards. Perhaps the children used to go to a different school with this rule, or maybe the mum did ballet herself so thinks this is the norm. They are certainly not supposed to wear them for RAD exams or for shows.

Also maybe the mum felt the changing room got too crowded, I know the one at dd's chool is a scrum. If dh takes her then he strips her off in the foyer which leads to outside as he isnt allowed in the changing room (the teen class starts shortly after). Dd is 7

The only YANBU bit is if it is absolutely freezing cold.

YABVU - they are only little kids,

as long as it isn't too cold who cares

I'm sorry this society is getting more and more fucked up about children and nudity.

Ok, I see your point sixspot - I definitely think her schedule means she's coming direct from somewhere other than home.

FWIW, I don't think it is MY business at all. Which is why I've said it didn't even cross my mind to talk to the teacher. I just posted here because I was genuinely interested in how other mums would react, and if I was in the minority. I appreciate what you're saying about your DS's, but my reaction to the situation was heightened by the fact that there were older boys, in uniform, standing not 5 yards away and literally loitering around, just starting at the girls and laughing.

Sorry - didn't mean to offend.

Hate these bloody threads. Am off now.

Boys do stare and laugh at things, it doesn't mean they are perving at a 4 year old. To be frank, it's their problem and my dd weouldn't even glance their way and she is 7, not 4. 4 is still a baby.

Noonki, I agree - I suppose that's why I posted. I can't bear the fact that I seem to have become so hyper sensitive to little girls being naked in the street - but a big part of my issue was how cold it was.

I would have considered myself liberal, relaxed parent. We all wander around nude (ha ha, not all the time!) in the sycamore household - so why did my heart leap into my mouth when I saw this scene? I just wanted to leap out and "protect" them from those boys - I felt angry on their behalf that they were being "exposed" where none of the other parents felt it necessary.

I'm not saying I'm right - I'm saying, why did I feel this way?

And I will say it again - my DD goes to the same ballet school, categorically they don't NOT have to remove pants for class, but whatever, that's not important, the issue was not that the pants come off, more where they come off!

Sorry - I know I said I would leave - this is my final thought - how about telling the bigger boys to piss off? That would make you feel like you've discharged your responsibility and would indicate to the mother (who very likely just hasn't noticed them) that they were there and were being out of order.

I really am off now.

Ha ha, I like your style sixspot! Yes, actually, that would have been perfect had I thought of it. I could have vented my anger and the situation, the girls mother would have been made aware of it and also, the boys would have slunk off more embarassed than anyone!

Yes yabu...and i would be too because i would probably feel the same way.
There is nothing wrong with little naked girls and mommy....repeat this to yourself next week

YABU to be unsettled.

Troutpout - I'm chanting as we speak....

I would worry about the cold yes

can't she do it in the car

What makes you think she has a car, Enid? OP doesn't mention one.

I would worry about the cold and also don't like the idea of 7 year old school boys pointing, laughing and ridiculing - so on that basis YANBU

sorry I am 'projecting' as I change mine in the car a lot (country dweller, racing around from riding to schoool etc)