To be unsettled by sight of mother/nanny stripping 4 year old girls in public?

[Sycamoretree]

Not sure if AIBU is the best place to post, but here goes. My DD (3) goes to baby ballet one afternoon a week. After her class, the 4 year olds go in. She's been going for 4 weeks now, and every week, withouth fail, there is a woman (mother or nanny, not sure) who strips two little girls (4ish) absolutely butt naked on a bench outside the church hall in order to get them ready for their glass. My heart leaps into my mouth every time. I suppose my objections are:

1. It's a bit nippy now, actually.
2. They are 4. Not 4 months. Why is she taking off their pants to do ballet? Why is she doing it when a gazzillion people are walking by. Specifically 7 year old school boys at it's 3.45 who are actually stopping to point and laugh. Why doesn't she wait until they're upstairs and chance them in the studio like everyone else?
3. Erm, that's it. They are literally standing head to toe naked in the street.

Am I over reacting. I get upset everytime I see it. I THINK she's a mum, this is just a hunch, because she's not really dressed in the practical way nannie's tend to be (i.e. she's in knee high boots with a bit of a heel, tights, skirt etc).

I'm actually hoping you all say IABU because then I can just try and relax about it.

At first I thought you were going to say you were objecting to mother stripping the children in a communal changing room which would not be unreasonable.
But on a bench outside, omg yabu.
When I used to go to ballet I would have my 'kit' on under my jeans and jumper if I was running late, otherwise I'd change in the changing room.

Oh and actually for dance exams we were not to wear pants under our tights and leotard. If the mother has done ballet herself in the past then this would be the norm for her, as it would be for me. But I wouldn't do it in the street.

no- i'd be just as shocked. dd does ballet aged 4 and i change her inside sort of behind the buggy we can usually get the leotard half on under her skirt and then whip the top off and pull it up. would never do it outside for all yuor resons. maybe this woman doesn't know she get them changed inside or something. do you feel you could tell her politely maybe? something like "I'm just taking XX (you child) up to get changed now, shall i show you where/would you like to come?

odd people make this world go round!

I think it's odd because it is so unecessary. As you say, they don't need to take their knickers off, and they could wear their ballet things under their clothes. Have you tried saying, 'Hi, did you know you are allowed to change in the studio upstairs?'

I was the same as FJ - was about to say you were BU - but on the bench outside YANBU.

Yes, that's what I mean. I take DD and she already has her tights and leotard on underneath her tracksuit. Then I just put her shoes and ballet cardigan on when we get there. Obviously this mum/nanny must be bringing the kids from somewhere other than home (there's no other explanation)so I can appreciate they might not be able to have half their kit on, but honestly, for a regular class, no pants? But also, she's always sitting with another mum or carer, and they don't even try and hold up a coat or whatever. And, it's like COLD.

I agree with eleanorsmum - tactfully mention to her that there is a changing area available. it's not nice taht other children are laughing at them and that it's getting cold.

Very strange thing to do, reasonable or not. Why the heck take their knickers off?

YANBU

If she takes them into the class maybe the teacher could say that changing in the class room/suitable place is available to the children, what is she going to do when it is raining?

malory - because they are on the street outside, because the boys are laughing at them, because there might be at worst a PEADOPHILE watching?

Well the knickers thing could be explained as I've heard that some strict RADA schools don't permit knickers under leotards.

But it's madness, as many previously have said, surely the most practical way for any class that requires a change of clothes, is to have them changed with outdoor clothes on top before you leave the house

The thing is, she's not in DD's class. DD is in the beginners class, so I'm a total new girl. This girl is in the next class up - so I have to assume the mum has been taking her for a while. We see them when we're on our way out. Their class starts 15 mins after ours, so there is this gap of time where the classes switch over and their is plenty of time to go upstairs and get changed on the little stage bit in the studio, or in the loos at the back. She will know this, because she will see other parents doing this week in, week out.

I can only assume she just doesn't have an issue with the nuddity so it's easier/less stressy and cramped to change them outside. I have to assume when it starts getting really parkie, she'll bring them in. But honestly, little boys pointing and laughing. The girl could see, and was just kind of looking with that blank, slightly surprised look in her face, like she couldn't quite understand what was going on. The mum was too busy changing her to notice - she didn't look up to see them.

Malory it's not the nakedness that matters here, it's why any sane person would strip their kids to change OUTDOORS rather than inside.

Mention it to the teacher and ask her to invite her to change them in the studio in a kind of "I think you would all find it a bit more comfortable..." kind of way.

There's just no need
a) it's too cold
b) there are most likely to be changing rooms so it's just plain uncessary

I would say kindly that there are changing room if she's not aware..

I change my dd for ballet in the corridor outside-I strip her down to her pants and I don't CARE who's watching lol!

Admittedly, I don't take her knickers off, and I don't do it outside, but even if I did, I would hope other paretns wouldn't be judging me...

I don't know, I think some people are so quick to judge other parents too readily these days.

Malory, I don't understand why you are so angry? What have i said that's wrong? I have said, I think she IS a mum, because she looks like she is wearing clothes that are more like office wear. I have NEVER seen a nanny in heeled boots, sheer tights and pencil skirt - if there are any on MN who do wear that for work, then I will stand corrected.

No, they don't have to take their knickers off - my DD goes to the same ballet school - there is no "no knicker" stipulation.

I wouldn't be shocked to the core, we usually get my dd's bum out for the odd wee in the gutter ..

They are 4 years old? Mine were nude most of the time at that age, whether we werein or out!!

What d you think will happen to them?

Kids shouldn't be embarrassed by nudity and neither should we

I'd be very unsettled. I know they're four but it's still totally naked outside in a public place on a street. It's not fair on them to give them no privacy in that way IMO.

A changing room is different because it is a room designated for that purpose and it's relatively private. If you don't want to say anything to her I would have a word with the ballet teacher.