to want to fight a defined contact order

[topaz1982]

I have a hearing at county court on thursday - my ex has issued a defined contact order. basically i want to know if i have to agree to everything that he is proposing...as i dont agree to any of it, he has fed his solicitor a load of hmm and i dont see why i should agree to what he wants!!!

No advice myself, but if you post in legal matters you might get a better response.

No you don't have to agree to it - do you have a solicitor?

It doesn't sound like it is but can you and your ex keep things reasonably amicable while you agree the terms of the order? If you can basically agree before it gets to court it will save you all (children included) an whole lot of heartache (and money)

Why does he want defined contact? have you been unable to agree reasonable contact between you? If you are not in agreement with what he is proposing, you will have an opportunity to explain this at Court. what should happen is that you and your ex (without solicitors) will have a meeting with the CAFCASS officer (formerly called Court Welfare officer) who is appointed by the Court to attempt to resolve matters with you without the need of formal court involvement (ie the District Judge making an Order) If you are not happy with his proposals you will get a chance to say why. You will be encouraged to reach an agreement and if this is not possible, then you will go before the District Judge who will usually make an order. At that point the CAFCASS will normally be requested to make a report which can take up to 12 weeks depending upon the area you live in. During this time, he/she will normally visit each of you and will (depending on the age of the child/children) attend contact sessions and make observations on this. In the case of older children they may be asked their views.
The starting point of the court is that the child/children should have contact with both parents unless there is a particular reason why there should not be contact. Depending upon the circumstances, it may be suggested that contact be supervised in the first instance, either by a third party (relative/friend) or at a contact centre. Unless you have a really good reason for refusing contact you really should try to agree it without the Judge ordering that CAFCASS get involved as then it all gets very messy (and expensive!). Also, I have known cases where the mother has been very obstructive with regards to contact and the father has ended up getting residence. Don't mean to scare you, but just warn you that you need to try to be reasonable, no matter what your feelings for your ex are. Good luck on Thursday

mumoverseas, you have lots of info there.

my dd is on counselling, she is 6, and has refused ot seeher dad for 5months. The counsellor mentioned caffcass yesterday, shouldme ex persue contact to court.

I am guessing they would force dd to see him?

piratecat - they would not 'force' her into anything, but rather would want to explore the reasons why a 6 year old would refuse to see her dad, i.e does she have goo reasons, or does she have divided loyalties and is saying she doesn't want to see him to avoid upsetting you?

Unless there are very clear reasons for not allowing access, CAFCASS should be trying to ensure that your dd has a relationship with both parents.

she has good reasons, they are her reasons, after being messed about for so long. I would hope that some sort of reconcilliation could take place between them, but that would mean him sticking to what he says.