Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel betrayed by and concerned about DP?

98 replies

cryingbuckets · 26/09/2008 14:54

Sorry should really go in relationships. Just not thinking right. Please don't slate me.

DP is taking his children from previous relationship on holiday. No problem with that and no obection to not going as think its good for him to spend undisturbed time with them.

He told me where he was going and is flying out from Heathrow. I just looked at the departure board to see if plane is flying on time and there is no flight to the place he told me. I checked Gatwick just in case I got the airport wrong and again no flight. I phoned him and asked him to tell me again where he was going as I couldn't see the flight and he told me not to "interfere with his kids" and dropped the call. He's now not answering at all.

I just don't know what to think. He's not back until next Saturday and could be going virtually anywhere at all.

OP posts:
Helsbels4 · 26/09/2008 16:15

I don't get this. If it was all above board with him taking the children on holiday, why did his ex turn up at the airport trying to take back the youngest child? Why did she snatch his phone to text you? Why the big mystery and attitude when you asked for the details? This all sounds really dodgy to me and there is far more to it.

VictorianSqualor · 26/09/2008 16:15

I don't see why eh would verbally (i.e. defo him not the ex) tell you not to 'interfere with his kids' and then the ex would be able to get his phone and text you back along the same lines

Also, if she has custody and doesn't want him to leave the country the children would not be going anywhere right now, so that would be a lie.

LittleBella · 26/09/2008 16:17

I imagine the police are incredibly sensitive about the possibility of abductions atm.

Don't believe they'd let him go in a departure lounge while carting her off.

Bucharest · 26/09/2008 16:20

They certainly wouldn't let it resolve itself so quickly- they'd make all sorts of enquiries about custody etc. It would take time.....I agree- they wouldn't be going anywhere- even is ex is a nutter who just decided at last minute she wanted to keep one of the kids with her...The authorities are incredibly sensitive anyhow about lone fathers travelling with children....

PersephoneSnape · 26/09/2008 16:21

his ex might be a bit lairy and have hospitalised you (??) but if she has custody and has turned up at the airport, saying that one of the DCs shouldn't go with him. then I can't see why DP and DsCs would be allowed through to departure lounge.

i know we get a bit panicky with all the news stories about children being murdered by their das without custody, but really, it is a tiny drop in the ocean. obviously those drops in the ocean are horrifc and i wish to belittle these tragic deaths. All of the incidences recently can spook us to a degree.

all the same and that said, yes. I'd phone the ex, number with-held if needs be, or ask the police if they can verify what has happenned at heathrow, because it sounds so elaborate as to be a lie. liars don't normally, in my experience go for the little simple lies, they're embellished and so improbable that all you can sometimes do is believe them.

at least, please phone his ex - even if she isn't there, she could have nipped to the shops or something. for your own peace of mind, i think you have to phone someone in authority to check this out.

AnarchyAunt · 26/09/2008 16:21

I also think this is dodgy, and hace suspicions about what he is telling you.

Agree you should try phoning his ex, or the police, to confirm the story.

AnarchyAunt · 26/09/2008 16:22

hace = have

MarlaSinger · 26/09/2008 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PersephoneSnape · 26/09/2008 16:28

rather insensitive and ambulance chasing troll if she is, given the recent publicity about child abduction/murder by some fathers without custody.

too many typos in mine for me to apologise for.

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 16:29

I think alarm bells should definately be ringing especially since the op has said that he has talked about taking the children away and not bringing them back in the past.

Bucharest · 26/09/2008 16:30

OP is a troll you mean?

cestlavie · 26/09/2008 16:33

I didn't want to say it as it could be genuine, but she hasn't posted anything else at any time and the entire situation doesn't make any sort of sense at all in terms of the facts.

Am reluctant to say so as if she's not then there's all manner of bedlam going on. If she is, well...

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 16:34

I don't think she's a troll I think she has obviously name changed because of the sensitive subject. Hence cryingbuckets.

Bucharest · 26/09/2008 16:35

I rather hope she is a troll....I'd rather be taken in (again....) than be thinking about what an awful situation...

AnarchyAunt · 26/09/2008 16:40

I don't think troll - and I am quite cynical generally. The namechange could well be due to the fact that people tend to feel (unecessarily) embarrassed by or ashamed of the behaviour of DPs. There can be a a feeling of 'being taken for a fool' that makes people want some anonymity.

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 17:01

I just hope the op is doing something about it. I doubt her dh was telling the truth why would the ex even let the children leave the house if she didn't want them to go with him? why wait until they were at the airport? None of it adds up.

lucyellensmum1 · 26/09/2008 17:59

maybe, hopefully, the ex wanted from space from the OP and hasn't even gone abroad with the children but taken them somewhere in this country for a break. By telling the OP that he was going abroad perhaps he thought it would get her off his back. Why did the OP phone the airport and check up? I wouldn't have thought to do this myself and i am pretty much bunny boiler material. Very confusing, i could understand if they were her children but he doesn't have to inform her the whereabouts of his children so i would be less concerned. I would say though, if her concerns are genuine, she should be phoning the police, not posting on here. That doesnt sound very sympathetic, but im just thinking aloud, it must be very worrying for the OP who does sound like a caring person so i am not slating her!

PersephoneSnape · 26/09/2008 18:05

even if you and your ex loathe each other and he has a new gf that you've hospitalised (...) I think you'd still be 'on side' if your exes new gf was trying to protect your children. i think OP should try and contact the ex, even if through an intermediary to express her concerns.

hecate · 26/09/2008 18:05

It makes no sense at all. Are you sure he is not going away WITH the ex?

MarlaSinger · 26/09/2008 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snigger · 26/09/2008 18:16

Hecate, shivermetimbers has a thread in unanswered asking you to check your emails

LittleBella · 26/09/2008 18:17

He doesn't have to inform her of the wherabouts of his children, but he does have to inform her of his wherabouts. He is her husband adn the father of her children. It simply isn't reasonable to expect to go off somewhere without telling your family where you are going, unless you are working for MI5 or something.

ellie35 · 26/09/2008 18:31

been following thread, all seems very bizarre. apologies for being so naive but fairly new MN could someone please explain troll?

loobeylou · 26/09/2008 18:39

Hmmmmmmmmmm I am still worried about this one, if OP genuine & not some looney troll with nowt better to do, because he phoned with this unlikely story in response to her threat to involve the police if she did not hear from him in 20mins

sounds like someone trying to buy themselves time/dig themselves out of a hole??

either he is generally unreasonable and not to be trusted or, heaven forbid, something is definitely wrong

totally agree with mascaras suggestions in post at 15.29

OP please let us know if all is well, anymore contact from DP, or if you have contacted police

loobeylou · 26/09/2008 18:41

troll is a fake - not a real post/situation, somone having a laff