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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel betrayed by and concerned about DP?

98 replies

cryingbuckets · 26/09/2008 14:54

Sorry should really go in relationships. Just not thinking right. Please don't slate me.

DP is taking his children from previous relationship on holiday. No problem with that and no obection to not going as think its good for him to spend undisturbed time with them.

He told me where he was going and is flying out from Heathrow. I just looked at the departure board to see if plane is flying on time and there is no flight to the place he told me. I checked Gatwick just in case I got the airport wrong and again no flight. I phoned him and asked him to tell me again where he was going as I couldn't see the flight and he told me not to "interfere with his kids" and dropped the call. He's now not answering at all.

I just don't know what to think. He's not back until next Saturday and could be going virtually anywhere at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
cryingbuckets · 26/09/2008 15:31

He's phoned.

Ex turned up at airport and was there trying to take youngest child when I phoned. SHE took the phone and sent text message.

They are changing flights somewhere - I hadn't realised.

She's been marched off by security, sounds like he's with the police. They've let him and kids through into departure lounge so she can't get to them.

God I HATE her (sorry but I do). I've just been violently sick

OP posts:
TurkeyLurkey · 26/09/2008 15:33

Glad he and kids are safe.

MascaraOHara · 26/09/2008 15:33

bloody hell what a mess.

glad it's sorted (sort of)

mrsruffallo · 26/09/2008 15:34

You don't know that he has lied about going on holiday- OP may have got it wrong
He is a grown man taking his children on holiday.
He has been rude to OP, but I think calling the police is ott

lulabellarama · 26/09/2008 15:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

wessexgirl · 26/09/2008 15:35

Horrible situation for you, him and the children .

I hope his ex gets a reality check, but I'm glad it was not the worst case scenario you were thinking.

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 15:38

It sounds a bit suss to me too. In your Op it was him that actually spoke to you to tell you not to 'interfere with his kids' therefiore the text messages seemto fit his mood at the time. I also dpon't understand why the police would release the children to him when their mum has custody.

TwoMore · 26/09/2008 15:43

If he has done the unthinkable and is planning to dissapear you need to think about your and your dds safety if the ex is unstable.

Could it be he is nervous of flying and taking it out on you, or really really stressed and not thinking. I am very snappy, and would probably behave like a right loony in an airport with two children.

Have you checked to see if he has taken other important stuff? Drivers liscence and birth certificate for example?

Combustiblelemon · 26/09/2008 15:44

Phone his ex (witholding your number). If she answers, he's lying.

TwoMore · 26/09/2008 15:45

sorry, my post is a bit out of date. How sure are you it was the ex?

Bucharest · 26/09/2008 15:49

It was him telling you all this from the airport? Still sounds suss to me I'm afraid. He's covering his arse because he knows you were suspicious. Good idea to ring ex and w/hold number.

RambleOn · 26/09/2008 15:50

cryingbuckets - do you have a passport for your dc in a safe place? Just piece of mind for the future.

PoppyFox · 26/09/2008 15:57

Why do you hate his x? That's the bit that makes no snese to me. She went to the airport to get her child!

I'm sorry your partner is lying to you, but I bet it's very convenient for him to blame his x, knowing you automatically hate her. I agree he's covering his arse. All very mysterious, and you need to forget about the x as she's a red herring.

mrsruffallo · 26/09/2008 15:58

Yes, don't blame the ex.
It sounds like he was rude to you anyway

IfYouDidntLaughYoudCry · 26/09/2008 16:02

I would still be concerned that he told you not to 'interfere with his kids'. That is not a nice way to speak to you and it sounds like something is wrong even if it's not the unthinkable.

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 16:03

Also the changing flights thing doesn't make sense either considering the original flight he told you he was getting dis#d not exist.

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 16:03

*did not

mrsruffallo · 26/09/2008 16:04

He gave her a destination, not a flight no. I think

ledodgy · 26/09/2008 16:06

ahh I see they were changing flights on route to the destination just noticed that bit I read it as changing flights full stop.

cestlavie · 26/09/2008 16:07

Sorry, I'm a bit puzzled by this.

He made the first call telling you "not to interfere" and then dropped the call. Clearly the ex didn't do this. B

He's meant to be flying from Heathrow. Whether he's changing flights or not, the airport he's leaveing from shouldn't change. His flight would still be on the departure board.

How on earth did the ex get his phone? Snatched it from him just after he called you then texted you in front of him?

If the ex has custody, why would she be trying to snatch the child back and why would that necessitate airport security being involved? And even if they were involved, why on earth would they split the family up until they'd resolved what was going on (especially if she normally has custody of them).

At what point whilst trying to snatch the child (and fend off security) did she have the opportunity to send you a couple of text messages and why on earth would she bother doing so?

Something, somewhere, certainly doesn't add up.

TheProvincialLady · 26/09/2008 16:08

It all sounds highly dodgy and I would be hesitant to believe your DH. Why would his ex know where to try and take the youngest child from if he would not even tell you? Why would she try and do it? And if the police were involved I doubt if they would just let him and DC catch a plane, if the ex is the main carer.

LittleBella · 26/09/2008 16:09

Phone his ex

2 more children were killed by a mad father at the weekend

better to be safe than sorry

Withhold number

mrsruffallo · 26/09/2008 16:09

Do you mean you think that ex is going with them?

anniemac · 26/09/2008 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bucharest · 26/09/2008 16:11

Shit- I'd rather the ex were going too I think than what I'm sitting here thinking...CB- please phone the ex and find out- one way or the other.