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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get really pissed off with friends who don't reply to text mesages?

90 replies

incredulous · 24/09/2008 09:54

Oooo! It really gets my goat! I have sent a few friends from work a text to see if they fancy getting together for a meal out (I'm cuurently on mat leave). I sent the txt FRIDAY and only 2 out of the 4 of them have replied, and the 2 that did reply took 3 days to do so!!! It realy makes me cross, and makes me feel quite worthless tbh, as if I'm not important.

I also have other friends who whenver I am with them have their phone on them constantly, and always reply to texts etc, yet when I text them, they take hours or even day sto reply.

AIBU to think this is just downright rude, esp when the text asks a question that demands an answer!!

OP posts:
pagwatch · 24/09/2008 09:56

um.
why don't you phone them instead?

glaskhamhasoneintheoven · 24/09/2008 09:57

well i've not been able to reply to texts as my credit has ran out and its not pay day till friday... maybe they are on pay-as-you-go?? if not then that is rude IMHO!!

ImNotOnline · 24/09/2008 09:59

YABU - I don't look at my mobile from one week to the next.

YANBU - If the friends are attached to their phone 24/7

Why not call them?

Original poster
incredulous · 24/09/2008 10:00

I don't phone them cos we all have young kids and tbh, by the end of the day, the last thing I wanna do is be phoning everyone, which would then end up in a long chat as I am on mat leave so don't see them very much at the mo.

I know for a fact that they are not on PAYG.

OP posts:
FioFio · 24/09/2008 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
incredulous · 24/09/2008 10:01

That's fine if you don't look at your moble from one week to the next, but I know that these people do, as I have spent enough time with them to know.

OP posts:
Original poster
incredulous · 24/09/2008 10:02

TBH, I thinkit just pisses me off, cos I see it as them saying 'you're not very important to me'

OP posts:
Original poster
incredulous · 24/09/2008 10:03

The beauty of text messaging is that it means you don't have to phone someone, it's a nice quick msg without having to get into a long phonecall.

OP posts:
dilbertina · 24/09/2008 10:04

Oh, am I your friend?! I don't always reply immediately (or at all) if I'm seeing sender soon). I prefer to talk face to face or on phone rather than text. I don't think you have a right to expect a prompt response, why should they drop everything to get back to you (and you have no idea what else they may be doing).

It's not that you are worthless to them - they just have other stuff going on and you are not necessarily top of the to do list. Perhaps you have more time on your hands on mat leave and are generally more organised...

To be honest you are sounding a little high maintenance, like you're arranging a business meeting with subordinates rather than a night out. Perhaps if you could relax your expectations a bit more you'd be less disappointed with people who fail to live up to your standard!

pagwatch · 24/09/2008 10:05

Seems to me that it is upsetting you and not apparently bothering them.
So they are not going to act any differently unless you ask them about it.
And your getting upset and resentful is going to affect how you act towards them.
So why don't you phone them to ask them out and then you can ask why they don't reply because it upsets you.

streakybacon · 24/09/2008 10:05

How about group email, with all the details of the night out, those who confirm are going and those who don't aren't?

Maybe they have other commitments and/or don't want to go out for dinner.

It is a bit rude not to reply, but there are ways around it so you don't get wound up about it.

FabioVicePeeperPlopper · 24/09/2008 10:05

You're too busy to phone, they're too busy to reply to texts.

YABU.

Phone them and say - I've got 2 minutes, are you free for dinner on Tuesday?

streakybacon · 24/09/2008 10:06

BTW, text messaging isn't quick for some people. It takes me ages to send a reply because I'm so crap at it.

Aitch · 24/09/2008 10:07

hate texts. phone me if you want me, if you can't prioritise to make a call, i can't to respond to fiddly piddly text. imo.

Lizzylou · 24/09/2008 10:07

YABU, I never read my texts, am terrible.
I am back at work next week so will have to have it on hand all the time.
Read a text this morning from my friend asking me if I wanted to go to running club that night, Monday

Wuxiapian · 24/09/2008 10:08

YANBU. I find this incredibly rude, too - especially if you're trying to make plans.

It only takes a minute, fgs.

MissMarpleTastic · 24/09/2008 10:08

I take forever to reply to text messages.
And Emails, and messages on other sites etc. I normally read them and just as I go to reply one of the DCs needs me or the door goes or the house phone.

Maybe they don't yet know if/when they can go out and are waiting for some confirmation in their own lives?

Or maybe they just don't like you.

Surfermum · 24/09/2008 10:09

I am reallly bad at replying to texts. My phone is normally in my handbag and is often switched off as the battery has run down and I haven't realised. Or I get a text at a time when I can't reply - driving or I'm with someone (and my pet hate is when you are chatting to someone and they start texting in the middle of it because their phone has just beeped at them) - and then I forget to reply later. I hate texting anyway, I find it a real faff.

But you've made me think about this and I will bear in mind that they might be perceiving that as "you're not very important to me". That certainly isn't my intention.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 24/09/2008 10:10

oh im guilty of this i will look at my phone but if i am in the middle of something else i will put the phone down and think 'oh ill text back after doing so and so' and then i forget

honestly if i ma your friend you need to email and text me. i will reply to one or the other eventually.

ForeverOptimistic · 24/09/2008 10:11

YABU. I hate my mobile phone, I only have one because of pressure from other people. I have a pay as you go and if the credit runs out it is sometimes weeks before I top up. I understand that it infuriates other people that I don't respond promptly but if it is that important surely they could ring me on the landline. I also hate not being able to get away from people iyswim.

ForeverOptimistic · 24/09/2008 10:11

YABU. I hate my mobile phone, I only have one because of pressure from other people. I have a pay as you go and if the credit runs out it is sometimes weeks before I top up. I understand that it infuriates other people that I don't respond promptly but if it is that important surely they could ring me on the landline. I also hate not being able to get away from people iyswim.

luckymummy74 · 24/09/2008 10:13

Thanks wuxia, at least someone agrees with me .

I am not expecting them to drop everything and reply straight away FFS, just within a few hours or even a day would be nice.

Aitch · 24/09/2008 10:15

oh it was people agreeing with you that you wanted? i see...

maybe they just don't like you, then? you do seem pretty short-tempered.

luckymummy74 · 24/09/2008 10:15

I understand all you people saying that you don't often check your phone, and that's fair enough, but how come when I am with these people, they are constantly checking their phones and replying to messages?

Maybe you're right, maybe they do just not like me. Thanks for that BTW.

MissMarpleTastic · 24/09/2008 10:16

It wasn't Denny was it luckymummy?

You forgot your namechange