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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO NOT WANT TO WORk IN DH OFFICE?

22 replies

hifi · 22/09/2008 17:11

he has an office and 3 members of staff in and out at certain times. i have helped out on odd days manning phones etc.

i hate office work, find it mundane. last week i covered 2 days, well 9.30 til 3. this week was one day now his secretary has phoned to TELL me its 3.

she needs some training from the accountant, which i understand she needs peace and quiet, not being bugged by the phones.but i feel im being used and abused as an unpaid skivvy. i did mention i would bring some of my own stuff in to do and she said she has lots to keep me busy.
aibu, just plain mardy or what?

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/09/2008 17:13

What? You are being used as unpaid labour? Tell them (dh and secretary) to feck off. I am all for helping out your dh's business but you need some appreciation and respect. If dh's secretary told me she had plenty for me (when I was doing her a favour)to do she would know all about it.

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 17:16

if i mention any pay he says its my duty, a small incentive might make me a happier unpaid employee.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/09/2008 17:17

Duty It is not your duty to do the secretary's work and she should at least be polite.

coppertop · 22/09/2008 17:19

Your duty????

Tell him he might need to employ a temp after all - to help him to remove his head from up his own arse.

MrsTittleMouse · 22/09/2008 17:19

So is he self-employed?

The biggest issue for me would be that it was taken for granted. You are not the secretary's skivvy, but he's obviously created the situation where she feels that she can treat you like one.

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 17:22

hmm, i think now im home alone she thinks i dont have anything to do.
yes hes self employed, she hasnt got on with any temps in the past.

im going to make it clear i have my own bits to do, if he pays me ill do what she wants, but badly so she will think twice about demanding again.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/09/2008 17:36

You see my problem with this is that where does she get the impression that she can tell you what to do? From him. There is an intrinsic lack of respect there, I would bet on it.
I would do it but on your terms, and one of those terms would be that she is told she doesn't tell you what to do.

MrsTittleMouse · 22/09/2008 17:42

The trouble with doing it badly is that you end up with even less respect. I think that you need to have a serious talk with your DH about what is acceptable behaviour - and allowing his secretary to boss you around isn't acceptable. You and he should sit down and work out what you're going to cover (as a favour to him) and that's exactly what you should do - not stuff that the secretary has decided.

TheCrackFox · 22/09/2008 18:11

I sometimes help out at DHs (I waitress, which I hate) but I always get paid for it. Tell him to feck off.

LittleMyDancing · 22/09/2008 18:15

I'm working for DP at the moment, but he is paying me handsomely for the privilege. In fact, I'm the best paid person in the company!

This is a very important issue of respect. You need to have a word.

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 18:46

the plot thickens, his sec. hasnt mentioned to him she wants me in 2 extra days. he has also just let slip that he isnt going out tomorrow so he will "go and hit some balls".

had huge bust up,he says if he stays in office the accountant will bug him all afternoon.

does anyone else want to wipe dog shit on my back?

OP posts:
beanieb · 22/09/2008 18:53

just don't turn up, find yourself with a previous commitment.

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 18:55

dont worry im not.

OP posts:
lizziemun · 22/09/2008 19:02

Sorry you feel like you have a cold coming, i think you should spend tomorrow in bed with a good book .

He should pay you if you work for him, perhaps you should ask for a day off in lew IE for every day you work in his office then he does a day in yours. So i think that you have at least 5 house/child free days to take .

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 19:03

it would seem too much like hard work to him lizzie.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/09/2008 19:41

Hang on his secretary has told you to come in for two days without consulting him?
Ok iiwy I would ring her and ask her what she thought she was doing? And if that causes trouble for your dh, well that would be no harm.

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 19:53

yes she has decided, hes ok with it as they have a lot on. shes trying to shit stir, a few incidents in the last week, and he is also trying to take the piss. they can both f* oFF.
with her playing us off against each other, or trying to ,he has suggested i play the game..
the are both playing games with me.well it aint happening

OP posts:
Carmenere · 22/09/2008 19:57

I'm sorry if I sound high-handed but I would waste no time in putting her in her place. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that there is a recession looming so she would want to remember who employs her.

Carmenere · 22/09/2008 19:58

That is you btw, considering as his dw you are his partner in everything.

Original poster
hifi · 22/09/2008 20:03

dont worry, im plotting carefully.

OP posts:
DesperateHousewifeToo · 23/09/2008 10:04

You should happen to leave the computer on with an advert for a 'Personal Assistant', paying more money that she is getting and saying a 'post has become available'.

Leave it for the secretary to find when she comes back into the office, cheeky mare!

PoorOldEnid · 23/09/2008 10:08

bloody hell

I work WITH my dh (note words!!) and I get paid properly.

If his secretary asked me to do ANYTHING I wold tell her to fuck off.

Well, ok, I probably wouldnt but she is not my boss.

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