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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to not expect my friend to be glassed

22 replies

pamelat · 22/09/2008 13:11

I appreciate that the immediate response is "no" but let me put it in to context.

My cousin and I were out on Saturday night (for the first time in a long long time for me).

We went in to a town centre (mistake number one), we went to a silly 70's type bar (mistake number two) but we wanted to have a girly time and dance. Unfortunately there are lots of idiots in this particular bar, largely because it pulls in the hen doos so random men hang around but we decided to just go there, ignore the seedy men and have a good time.

Anyway .... long story short.

One seedy man would just not leave us alone, tried telling him to go away politely,tried not so polite (!) and then my cousin threw her gin and tonic all over his face . He deserved it but I can appreciate its controversial .....

Anyway, next thing he has got his pint glass and thrown it at her (the WHOLE glass).

We spent 5 hours in A&E and she had stitches because it had cut down to her skull.

She is now scared of reporting it to the police as she sort of initiated the problem? And she is worried that it may look bad at work, she isnt the fighting kind at all and has a new ish job.

What do you reckon?

I think she should report it as he over reacted and is clearly a nutter.

OP posts:

themildmannneredjanitor · 22/09/2008 13:14

there are no circumstances whatsoever in which someone would deserve to be glassed.

Upwind · 22/09/2008 13:14

Of course she should report it - that is ABH
who cares about who provoked who?

littlelapin · 22/09/2008 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FluffyMummy123 · 22/09/2008 13:15

Message withdrawn

noonki · 22/09/2008 13:16

How horrible for you both

Throwing a glass at someone is surely ABH or GBH where as throwing a G&T is just a bit stupid

If i were her i would report it.

Original poster

pamelat · 22/09/2008 13:16

Thank you.

I did want to check as she has almost convinced me. She keeps saying that its her fault and that its embarassing.

I have told her that she is clearly the victim.

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 22/09/2008 13:17

Definitely report it!

FluffyMummy123 · 22/09/2008 13:18

Message withdrawn

cafebistro · 22/09/2008 13:18

She should definately report it. Im suprised the police weren't called at the time by the staff at the bar/bouncers?
Glassing someone is just the lowest of the low, no one deserves that.

compo · 22/09/2008 13:19

yes report it
where the club staff good? and a&e? someone shoudl have advised her to ring the police there and then
it might all be on cctv at the club

VinegarTits · 22/09/2008 13:23

Do you know who the guy is to be able to report him? Get him arrested quick smart, he shouldnt be allowed to get away with it!

Original poster

pamelat · 22/09/2008 13:25

I tried to stop the man from leaving. He ran as soon as he threw it.
It was very busy and I managed to shout to the bouncers (4 of them at the door) to stop him but they let him go. They later claimed that they didn't hear me. I would hope that there is CCTV.
They didn't even want to call an ambulance (not a nice bar, we won't be going there again) They wanted us off their premise. Fortunately, a female bouncer realised that my cousin was quite seriously injured and sat her down, hugged her and called an ambulance.
In A&E (ever been there on a Sat night?) there were a lot of police officers. We mentioned it to them and they said to call in the morning.
We were told by the A&E staff that there are incidents (similar) every weekend.
My cousin is off work as she can't wash her hair for 5 days and its matted with blood (poor girl). She doesnt want them to know about it.

OP posts:

Original poster

pamelat · 22/09/2008 13:26

Dont know the guy but would recognise/describe him well. Just hoping that there is CCTV

OP posts:

BouncingTurtle · 22/09/2008 13:27

Well you tried to get rid of him politely so what the hell did the twat expect??
Totally OTT reaction to glass your mate, she should not feel responsible, how is chucking your drink over someone remotely comparable to having your face sut open!! Please get her to report it ASAP!!

BouncingTurtle · 22/09/2008 13:27

BouncingTurtle · 22/09/2008 13:28

Oops double post!

Original poster

pamelat · 22/09/2008 13:29

Thanks again

Will encourage her to report it. I can't force her but might let her read this. She needs to see that it isnt her fault.

OP posts:

onager · 22/09/2008 13:39

Did he mean to let go of the glass? Was he trying to do the same back, but too drunk to do it properly?

I haven't tried putting gin and tonic in my eyes. Does it hurt?

What he did was terrible, but I'm not sure that all the intentions are clear or the rights and wrongs so clear cut.

Original poster

pamelat · 22/09/2008 14:45

oneager, my DH suggested that.
I think that he was very drunk (to be so persistent).

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 22/09/2008 15:06

the only mitigation would be if he was simply trying to throw his drink i.e. the contents of the glass and not the glass itself back at her and it slipped out of his hand.
i would still report it if i was her though and let the legal system decide if the intent to glass was there or not because you never know.it might be an honest accident or he might have a history of violence/glassing people which would indicate his intentions/possibility of doing the same in the future.

your friend deserved to get a drink thrown over her but she most certainly did not deserve to be physically scarred.

2beornot2be · 22/09/2008 15:29

Did the bar that you were in not report it???? Ummm yes report it but expect a long arse court case I witnessed someone get glassed in the face he had to have plastic surgery and it took 2 years to get to court and the guy that did it got away with it.

Original poster

pamelat · 22/09/2008 19:57

Have spoken to my cousin.
She is going to report it but choose not to press charges. Apparently, this way if he ever does it again (if they can identify him from CCTV) there will be the information that he has done it before.
Does anyone know whether this is correct? Or whether she is telling me this to get her off her back about it.

OP posts:

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