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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

taking DC to a restaurant?

32 replies

shootfromthehip · 22/09/2008 12:43

We took our two DC (DD 4.5 and DS 21mths) to our local Italian on Sat for tea as we do reasonably regularly. We got there at 5.30pm and were finished by 7pm. DS was tired and by 6.30pm was making noise. By 6.45pm he was shouting at people to get their attention, having finished his dinner. The staff are used to us taking the kids there and are always really friendly (as are the Owners).

On this occasion the lady and her 'date' behind us (late 50's) engaged us in the usual 'oh that's why i've got no kids but 2 rabbits' conversation when I apologised for the noise which was really perfunctory on my part as DS wasn't howling, just being loud.

We decided to not stay for dessert as DS was going to start getting embarassing and I paid as DH took the kids out. At this point the lady behind us said 'yeah you should really take him home, I' mean he's not even 2 yet- too young to be here'

AIBU- I have always taken our kids out with us and have occasionally left if I felt that they were being disruptive but should I just not being doing it at all?

OP posts:
compo · 22/09/2008 12:45

yanbu
some people have no tact and don't know when to keep their mouth's shut!

DaphneMoon · 22/09/2008 12:47

It's a free country you should be able to take your DC's anywhere you want, expecially a restaurant. YANBU, the other diners were.

mrsbabookaloo · 22/09/2008 12:47

I think if it's early - before about 7:30, there should be no problem at all with taking kids to a restaurant. If you don't have kids and you eat dinner that early, you just have to put up with there being kids in the restaurant.

If you want a special quiet dinner, then don't go so early.

How rude that lady was!

ellie35 · 22/09/2008 12:50

YANBU, I think it is perfectly fine to take your dc out with you. I understand that sometimes you feel that you have to cut the visit short when they start to get overtired as i do with my ds who is 3 but surely it is good to take them out as a family and enjoy yourselves together rather than always feeling that you nust go without them and find babysitters. There seems a distinct lack of tolerence in this country to young families just doing things together.

ImNotOnline · 22/09/2008 12:56

YANBU However that woman was!

blueshoes · 22/09/2008 13:03

That grumpy old lady does not own the place. She was out of order. It is only the local Italian and you removed your ds when it was clear he was getting disruptive. You behaved perfectly and her 'date' needs to give her a good seeing to.

kslatts · 22/09/2008 13:05

I agree with ellie35 about intolerence in this country, we went on holiday to Greece last year and the dd's were made to feel really welcome in all the restaurants we visited.

Upwind · 22/09/2008 13:06

YANBU, though there is a fine line somewhere. You were out early, you left without dessert because your DS was getting over tired. The old woman was really rude.

PuppyMonkey · 22/09/2008 13:07

You are certainly not bu.

Well, for all you know, the stupid woman went on to drink a few too many glasses of wine and started a massive fight with her partner - resulting in her getting thrown out. But, hey, that would have been all right as she was over two years old....

Much prefer sitting next to a table with boisterous kids than a table of, say, twatty blokes all bellowing to each other about wimmin.

You've got me going now... pisses me off that sort of attitude.

MsSparkle · 22/09/2008 13:09

The only time i dislike children in restuarants is when they are running around screaming whilst the parents just igore them and carry on with their own conversation. Otherwise i have no problem with children being in a restaurant so in this case yanbu.

wotulookinat · 22/09/2008 13:09

Oh how rude of the woman! If she has no kids she can't possibly know how late is too late.
I went to the doc this morning and DS (nearly 2) was with me. He was pushing a toy walker that is always in the waiting room up and down, stopping every so often to talk into the phone on it. It's a big room, btw. this old coupld just kept tutting. Grrrrrr. I just kept smiling at them.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 22/09/2008 13:10

YANBU- I do the same, and take our 3 out to dinner early (5-5.30). I think if people are going to eat at that time in a family-friendly establishment they should expect children to be there. What makes this woman an expert on where or how late a 21 mth-old should be out?? Is it her extensive experience with rabbits that makes her so knowledgable about what is best for your child?

She sounds like an arse to me!

noonki · 22/09/2008 13:11

yanbu at all

I was a waitress for years, restaurants should welcome families,

it was annoying when people would take their toddlers out later on in the evening if they weren't used to being up late,

igivein · 22/09/2008 13:12

Italian restaurants are supposed to be full of kids - Italians wouldn't dream of leaving them at home. So far from being unresonable you were creating an authentic dining experience!

Twelvelegs · 22/09/2008 13:13

I would ensure you and DH go alone next time and make more noise!!!
My DS who talks very loudly, we are trying to deal with this, got told to 'shut his mouth' when we were leaving the club lounge on holiday. He was telling me something despite me being 10ft away. I would have objected to anyone chastising my DS when I could have been approached anyway but this guys tone and language really made me angry. besides we were leaving and even if he was the loudest child in the world the man would have to endure about a minute of his noise.
I did get very cross and explain that it is polite to talk to the parents and not the child, his wife then told me to go away and breed (I am pregnant with my fourth).... I did comment on her being a dried up old sew and sew and so really felt I had risen above it and hadn't fallen into some gutter at all!!
What happens to people? Do they forget about children once they reach a certain pont?

AbbaFan · 22/09/2008 13:14

I think it's good for kids to go out and do things like this, and why shouldn't you enjoy a meal with your children.

YANBU, ignore the mean lady.

Original poster
shootfromthehip · 22/09/2008 13:15

This really was me needing to hear what I already thought. My DD was excellent throughout the meal and DS, whilst loud was predominately excellent too. My DH does embarrass very easily and so he was on the back foot so to speak when I told him about it.

I want to expose my kids to different social settings as much as possible and because it was early I thought we were ok. Was really annoyed at the rudeness but everything is winding me up at the mo so just thought i'd check with you lovely people.

OP posts:
DaphneMoon · 22/09/2008 13:18

Igivein, spot on with that, Italians always make a big fuss of kids and in Italy eating is a family affair.

EachPeachPearMum · 22/09/2008 13:19

How else are children supposed to learn how one behaves in a restaurant... except by going to restaurants?
Some people just don't like other people's children full stop.
You went early, to prevent the Dcs being too tired, and also to avoid disturbing most 'couples'. You also left early before dessert (my DD wouldn't stad for that! .
I think you were very considerate.
I'm lucky in that DD (2.8) sits at the table nicely, and loves eating at restaurants... but I'm sure DS (currently bump) won't be the same!

rebelmum1 · 22/09/2008 13:30

best to teach them to behave when they are not tired! I did the same thing on Fri night with my dd as it was her birthday and we did the same sort of thing except it was a nightmare, she was tired and miserable and it didn't do anyone any good if you ask me. She didn't enjoy it and nor did we. Best to teach them to behave at the table at home and take them out for lunch unless they are well rested. I wont be doing it again in a hurry.

SpookyMadMummy · 22/09/2008 14:17

YANBU.
She is obv a very rude woman.
I have taken my children to restaurants/pub dining etc from birth. How will they learn to behave in public places otherwise?
I am very proud of my girls, they love to go out for tea and are usually incredibly well behaved and finish their meals whenever we go.

PinkyDinkyDooToo · 22/09/2008 14:22

YANBU. Rude woman. I take out my two Ds's out to restaurants all the time

AbbeyA · 22/09/2008 14:32

YANBU -Children will never learn how to behave if they are not taken! It might have been different if you had gone later but you were very early-she was rude.

JuneBugJen · 22/09/2008 14:36

As you went early, then YANBU and she was a cow bag.

Any later and then she had every right to be pissed off (say 8pm). Personally whenever I am not with the DC's myself, I sit at the opposite end of a restaurant from children as I know how obnoxiously loud ours are when out and about!

She has a point though, rabbits are quieter.

handlemecarefully · 22/09/2008 14:38

I sympathise...however I posted this thread recently better off in bed?, so I kind of see the other point of view

I guess it depends on just how noisy your dc were.....