To want to confiscate a number of dc toys because they have lost their nintendo ds?

[DrZeus]

Background: early in the year dc were given a nintendo ds each (we were on holiday and dh thought they were a bit of a bargain). I've managed to keep the various bits/games together until the last couple of weeks when one of the nintendos has gone missing. Now, I think it's in the house somewhere in the complete tip I call home. I've just started a new job and life has been somewhat hectic. I've just spent this afternoon clearing papers and recycling and looking for the blasted thing. DH is off out today and DS1 has recently returned from a party. What really p*sses me off is the complete lack of interest that an expensive toy has gone missing. Complete disinterest. I'm livid, I said they were too young to have them (6 and 4 - well nearly 7 and nearly 5 now). I've told them I will start removing some of their other toys if:
a. they don't' help me look
b. they don't help me tidy up (yes I know its boring!)

I'm also close to not buying any further gift (birthdays coming up) because, to be honest, I don't have the money to waste if they can't be bothered when something goes missing. It wouldn't be quite so bad but ds1 is always pestering for new stuff when he's a houseful of stuff he doesn't play with.

I guess I should have known better. I did warn DH at the time, and this is the result. I'm just so mad at everyone.
Rant over and .

I would be furious too!

yes to all your proposed threats

ds has just got a ds for his 6th b'day

Thanks ggirl.
Even dh lack of interest is driving me nuts atm. I keep threatening to hire a skip to clear the house of clutter but that falls on deaf ears too. I should have gone to the tip/bottle bank earlier but ran out of time. Just really frustrated.

yabu
The children are too young to have them and understand properly the import of expensive things....it was your choice to buy them for them knowing that.
You got the fairly predictible outcome you deserved...?

hope ds turns up, your children should def help you look for it and help you tidy up - they are more than old enough

regards to the toys dd1 doesnt play with, have you thought of putting some away and then interchanging them amonth or so later, so that he has different toys to play with every now and again?

YAB a bit U. They're old enough to help you look for it, but too young to understand the value of it or to actually even have one IMHO.

YABU. they don't have that concept yet of relative values - you're expecting too much of them, they're too young.

Agree with Ron, it was your choice and yes, their reaction to losing it just confirms they were too young to have them.

Use it as a learning experience for YOU, buy them different stuff for presents in future so that it doesn't matter this much when they do very typical, age appropriate stuff like losing toys.

anything on the floor gets shoved in black bin bags .. black bin bags get taken to charity shop / dump ... give them a 20 minute warning but go and get the bags now so you're standing there

if stuff is put away neatly it can stay

(you can put them in shed for a few weeks)

trust me .. they won't do it again

YABU. They are too young. I would put it down to experience and not buy them expensive stuff until they are old enough to treat it properly.

until the next time that is

it is a threat I often use .. 7 year old is now excessively tidy [ ... and both 7 and 4 year old capable of tidying all their own mess up

also things like a ds should not, IMHO, be freeplay

they should be reward for good behaviour or finishing homework or tidying etc .. but limited to an hour a week and only at weekends .. the rest of the time they should be kept on high shelf

Thanks for the replies. It wasn't my choice. I said at the time I didn't agree and that they were too young. So thanks, Ronaldinio I think that's a bit harsh saying I deserved it . Perhaps you've never been in that situation . Good for you.

Agree with Twig also; as parents you can 'police' the way ds are used. I do understand your DH seems to have bullied you into buying them BUT I think you are very unreasonable to lay ALL the blame on your kids.

I am mad the nintendo has gone missing. Yes, I realise that I should have known better. I've really learnt my lesson here. And I stand by what I've said about no more presents, because I have no more money to spend if stuff is not looked after.
I am not laying all the blame on the children! I feel shit that I took my eye off the bloody things for 5 minutes and now one is missing.

I give up. I'm too pissed off to continue this so I'm walking away from this thread........

YAbU. The children are to young to realise how expensive they arer. Also small children often mislay things.

If you're pretty sure it's still in the house then it's not really lost is it? Just hiding somewhere. If the kids aren't worried about it enough to want to find it then why stress about it? It will turn up sooner or later.