To not want to go to this party?

[LoveMyGirls]

I've been invited to my cousins 21st birthday party (we're not really close) it's 6 hr round trip and it's on the same day as my birthday. We would stay up there overnight but we're really skint at the moment so money on petrol, poss accomodation as well as present plus my birthday present and doing something to celebrate my birthday on top of christmas and new year its more money than we can afford but AIBU if we don't go?

Of course YANBU (IMO). Your cousin probably won't even notice.

Course not. Just don't go.

Why would you be unreasonable to not go?
She invited you and you cant go (its too far, too expensive and its on your birthday!), just say thanks for the invite, so sorry we cant make it. Hope you have a lovely time.

If you feel you have to say anything, previous arrangements for your own own birthday is a perfectly acceptable get-out.

YANBU, tell them you already have plans for your own birthday. why would they think you have nothing else to do on your birthday than trek miles and miles for some cake and a glass of wine?? when you could relaxing and treating yourself to a nice birthday meal or something like that!! i would not even hesitate to turn down the invite

I'm close to my auntie I'm just not close to my cousin. It's my auntie I feel I'd be letting down she's always asking us to go up there but we never have enough money and we get to see them when they come down here to see my mum.

My birthday is one of the few occasions I get to go out with my friends but I don't want it to sound like I prefer my friends over my family.

I haven't planned anything for my birthday yet because I'm waiting to see what finances are like (they're dire at the moment so we said we're keeping our belts tight so we can hopefully get sorted for January so we can save for our wedding and pay off dp's credit card)

Then if you have to say anything about what you are doing say your DP has a surprise planned for you. Make sure he KNOWS he has so he isn't surprised to hear it from your auntie .

YANBU
Send cousin a nice present, and card for your auntie saying it must be amazing for her that her baby is 21.