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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to skip a anniversary city-break so I can afford a new coat?

62 replies

discantus · 18/09/2008 11:57

Partner and I are coming up to 5 years together. He will be in Rome just before our anniversary on business and has suggested I fly out so we can celebrate it out there as part of a long weekend. We've both been to Rome twice before and seen all the sites, but never together.

There is a new Vivienne Westwood coat out that I am IN LOVE with - a real investment piece! It's so pricey though that I definitely cannot afford both the weekend AND the coat. I missed out on a jacket of hers last winter so really don't want the same to happen again, but AIBU to put the citybreak budget towards the coat?

OP posts:
platypussy · 18/09/2008 12:03

YANBU. If you've already been before and are really not bothered then get the coat and maybe suggest going on a different city break to celebrate belatedly when finances allow. You may get a cheap last minute bargain.

lilolilmanchester · 18/09/2008 12:07

On the other hand, not sure how happy I'd feel if my DH said he'd rather buy something luxurious and non-essential for himself than join me for a romantic weekend...

Platypussy's suggestion is a good compromise tho. If you go for the coat, make sure you offer an alternative romantic treat as part of the deal.

Heifer · 18/09/2008 13:09

YABU.. Exactly how does your DH benefit from you getting a new coat? (unless of course you plan to surprise him by wearing nothing underneath!

LoveMyGirls · 18/09/2008 13:15

Memories last forever I'd go for the city break.

I'd get the coat when it's in the sale or get a cheaper coat.

mumeeee · 18/09/2008 22:22

Yabu.

sunnydelight · 19/09/2008 07:48

I can't believe that anyone would prefer a coat to a trip to Rome, no matter how many times they've been. You are undoubtedly a lot better dressed than I am though

onlyjoking9329 · 19/09/2008 07:59

the coat won't be hurt of you don't buy it.
i think it is a bit worrying that you would choose the purchasing of a coat over spending time making memories with your partner.
memories never go out of fashion

LazyLinePainterJane · 19/09/2008 08:10

I can't believe people in real life refer to clothes as "investment pieces"....

belgo · 19/09/2008 08:12

I would never put clothes above travel! Your choice though.

2point4kids · 19/09/2008 08:13

YABU
You've agreed to do something for your anniversary and now you want to spend all the money on yourself and do nothing for your anniversary?

If its Rome that is the problem and you dont fancy it as you've been before and your DH is there for work anyway then why dont you use at least some of the money on a break/night out that you'd prefer and still celebrate your anniversary?

BecauseImWorthIt · 19/09/2008 08:35

So you're in love with a coat. Are you in love with your partner?

If you're not, then YANBU, just selfish.

If you are, then YABU and this is hurtful behaviour. How would you feel if the tables were turned?

nbee84 · 19/09/2008 08:42

Me thinks this is a 'wind up'

belgo · 19/09/2008 08:46

I think you should link us to the coat discantus.

Original poster
discantus · 19/09/2008 10:21

Hi 2point4kids - where did I say I didn't want to do anything for our anniversary? We wern't going to go away originally, partner only suggested it as he's just found out he's there on business. I would just prefer to stay in the uk so we can celebrate AND I can get the coat - and he should get a treat for himself too!

BecauseImWorthIt - reading waaaay to much into this! I think he deserves to treat himself too rather than spend that money going somewhere we've both been before...New York would be a different matter!

Belgo here you go
www.net-a-porter.com/products/35007

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 19/09/2008 10:24

if I were you I would buy the coat, it's frickin gorgeous, you clearly really want it, it will last forever, he is there on business and not waiting for you soppily with bloody roses and a puppy dog expression.

belgo · 19/09/2008 10:25

Nice coat. I wouldn't put it above a trip to Rome though

Helga80 · 19/09/2008 10:25

YABU - words fail me a bit.

If you don't want to go to Rome then go somewhere else or do something else together. But to put a coat above a celebration of your life and love together is way too odd in my mind.

But then I don't get why anyone would want to spend over £400 on a coat so I may not be the best person to advise you on this one.

LazyLinePainterJane · 19/09/2008 12:17

You missed out on a coat you wanted last winter. So why not save up to get one this year? Or do the same for next year?

Mutt · 19/09/2008 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2008 12:23

Message withdrawn

ComeOVeneer · 19/09/2008 12:26

I have a slightly similar dilemma with dh. We need new carpets and sofas, he says we can't afford to get them yet, but is looking at a 2 week safari and luxury beach holiday for our 10th wedding anniversary next year. Whilst I would love that I feel the money would be better spent elsewhere. (I would never spend it on me instead though!)

themildmannneredjanitor · 19/09/2008 12:29

that link doesn't show a coat-it shows a frock. unless thats what the kids are wearing to keep warm these days?

PuppyMonkey · 19/09/2008 12:32

That coat looks totally shit to me. zzzzzzzzzzz Not worth £400. Go to Rome

themildmannneredjanitor · 19/09/2008 12:33

why ca't i see a coat?
someone do me a link that works.

PuppyMonkey · 19/09/2008 12:34

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