To want to skip a anniversary city-break so I can afford a new coat?

[discantus]

Partner and I are coming up to 5 years together. He will be in Rome just before our anniversary on business and has suggested I fly out so we can celebrate it out there as part of a long weekend. We've both been to Rome twice before and seen all the sites, but never together.

There is a new Vivienne Westwood coat out that I am IN LOVE with - a real investment piece! It's so pricey though that I definitely cannot afford both the weekend AND the coat. I missed out on a jacket of hers last winter so really don't want the same to happen again, but AIBU to put the citybreak budget towards the coat?

then why not forgo the coat and plan a weekend just the two of you?

i mean, he could have just suggested nada.

or perhaps you could suggest exchange gifts instead and he gets you the coat and you get him something nice as well?

He could buy you the coat and you could buy a romantic weekend in Rome.

Ok fair enough you didnt say you werent going to do anything for your anniversary, I did assume that if you spent all your money on the coat then you wouldnt be able to afford to do a different weekend away seeing as you are talking about buying he coat instead of going to Rome?

If you have enough money to buy the coat and do something in the UK that you feel would be just as special and romantic as the weekend in Rome then go for it!

If however you are planning on buying the coat with all the money you had earmarked for anniversary celebrations and therefore cant really do smething instead of the Rome trip then YABU

Either way to be honest it sounds as though you dont want to go to Rome (and much as I love Rome I dont blame you if its essentially going to be just a work trip with you tagging along)
Why dont you ditch the Rome plans anyway. Plan something else that you both really want to do instead. If the new plans just happen to leave some money over to go towards your new coat then so much the better
If not, then anniversary comes first I say.

I Love the coat - but would rather spend time with dp.

Ah well all is resolved now as he checked out the flight and hotel prices and decided that it wasn't quite the bargain weekend he was expecting (yes I did say HE).

Hi Expat - we can now exchange gifts (which is what i'd thought we were doing up until the suggestion yesterday), so i'm pleased I can treat him to something he really wants instead.

I still dont see what was so bad about missing out on a weekend away that we wern't particularly fussed about so I could buy a dream coat, but as I invited opinion so thank you all anyway.

Yes, nice coat. But I struggle to understand why anyone would pay that sort of money for it.

Message withdrawn

I think with my dh it comes down to different priorities. To be fair he has been planning this trip since we got married (we booked childcare ie mine and his parents after our honeymoon). The thing is we don't "need" new sofas and carpets (as in we have both, but they are old and tatty and I want to replace them). This is low on his list of priorities, mainly because he is rarely at home, where as a 2 week luxury holiday (given the long hours he works) rates much higher. Unfortunately we only have money for one of them.

Personally I think you're mad. Buy a cheaper coat and enjoy a weekend away with your husband! But hey...your decision...

I would choose the rome trip or a break some where he wont be called on to work etc..Do you realy have to be high on fashion coat.If he works long hours i expect he would love you to join him and spend time together.I remember many years ago when i had my children an old lady neigbour who was on her own(who had the top furniture etc said to me.You can have has much lovely furniture over the years they will go out of date etc and she would buy new her house was lovely. The old lady said study your family.Take them out day trips holidays as much as you can afford .Even if you dont think much of rome again try some where new.Relationships should be give and take.Of course we didnt live in squalor but it made me think of my proritys.Even though its many years later i dont regret not having the best designer clothes etc.We all have really good memories .GOOD LUCK.

I'd get a coat. not that one, but a coat.