To want to brush this girls hair ?

[Marne]

There is a little girl at dd's school (reception class), she has lovely blonde hair but her mum does'nt brush it, this morning it looked like she had dreds, it upsets me that her mother can send her to school looking like she's been dragged through a hedge.

I know they don't like having there hair brushed but i always send dd in looking tidy.

I just feel like taking a brush to her (i would'nt)

AIBU?

ofgs - if its just her hair stop being so judgemental. If you are worried about how the little girl is being cared for then that is another matter.

And since when have nits had anything to do with dirty hair?? Anyone can get them.

Sorry again, im going now to get dd.

I wish i could find you a picture of what she looks like as then maybe you would understand my concern.

get to know the mum - if you reckon she is friendly - i am sure it will cure your concerns - or something

I must agree too that tidy/ clean etc does not equal a happy life.

My uncles wife alwauys took her DS to school looking pristine, brand new shoes every month, home like a show home with spectacular coffee mornings etc.

She ended up leaving my uncle and their DS whenhe was 6 years old as she claimed she could never be maternal, hated her life (and had been shagging a colleauge since he was 6 months old)

So first of all you're just worried about her hair not looking brushed.

People don't agree with you so then you post you think she may have nits.

People still don't agree so then you post about her sister's dirty socks.

People still aren't agreeing that much so now she looks like a kid from an NSPCC ad.

Think you stop been so bothered about her.

Marne - there's not really anything you can do is there. Unbrushed hair and dirty socks on their own are not really cause for concern for the children's wellfare, if it were social services would be even more inundated!

My daughter looks like a Victorian orphan when she gets back from school on a Monday - usually with the same hairstyle she had on a Saturday, when she goes to her Dad's for the weekend. I have tried to teach him how to do her hair, but he just seems incapable. I worry the school will think she is neglected, and just hope she looks smart enough the rest of the time when she's with me. I would be in trouble if there were any judgey-pants parents around on Mondays though...

this has changed my life with dd hair, paddle brush

yes me too,

Ok, im not worried about unbrushed hair and dirty socks, though i would like to give it a brush (the point of my thread)

Im not saying because she is scruffy she's not being looked after/is'nt happy.

The fact thet she looks unhappy upsets me.

I have just got back from picking up dd from school and the teacher has asked to speek to the mother (may not be anything to do with this subject)

I am not judging anyone, i am just worried about the child getting picked on, im not saying the parents are useless or anything like that.

Maybe i will invite them over, they seem like nice people.

Sorry, why did the teacher ask you to speak to the mother??

Aren't you just the philanthropist.

why does she want you to speak to the mother?

whats a philanthropist?

I guess lots of Reception age kids will look unhappy at this time of year - invite her over for a playdate with your dd. Maybe she will cheer up if she has a friend.

So if you saw a little girl with dirty hair, dirty clothes,dirty face, sad face and sad eyes you would'nt be worried?

Philanthropist

ahh.

so does the teacher want you to befriend the mum?did you tell the teacher your concerns?if not-why was the teacher talking to you about her?

My question exactly cheesesarnie, hence the sarcy reply about philanthropy

My dds are clean when they go to bed and clean when they get up/washed/dressed/brushed etc. Inbetween this they are in varying degrees of feral . DD2 is especially bad. Curly hair/wonky crown and cowslicks. She generally looks like a scarecrow. But they are happy. Sometimes they look sad because they have been told no to something. I could chase after them with wipes/flannels and hairbrushes all day, but that would not make them happy. I prefer to chase after them with 'tickly hands'
Maybe mom and her daughter need some friends? She may well not be coping well at the moment. If she feels like she is being judged and avoided she will only feel worse and cope worse. A nice unjudgy friend could be a lifesaver (god knows I could do with one of those)

.can you believe i have an a level in english i am rubbish at 'big' words and my grammer is terrible!i blame my children.

I never said i spoke to the teacher, the teacher had called the mother in to talk to her about her daughter.

I hav'nt spoke to the teacher or anyone else apart from you lot. I would'nt do that.

ahhhhh i see.i read wrong-sorry.

i think if as you say the mother seems nice,invite them round for play.might be nice.do your dc play together at school?

I will invite her over, as i said before they seem like nice people, maybe she has got other things going on at home, she has her hands full with another young child.

thats probably all it is.half the time i leave the house in the morning thinking all dc look presentable only to arrive at school and realise dd has shoes on wrong feet and ds1 has jumper back to front.

A paddle brush and hair gel if you want their hair in a pony tail, bunches or pulled back off their faces. I know it works as I do hair for stage shows and it has to stay perfect.

just a thought. Might the little one have ASD? Children with ASD would usually have trouble mixing with other children and can be hypersensitive so hate having hair brushed. Just a thought.