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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to brush this girls hair ?

97 replies

Marne · 17/09/2008 11:01

There is a little girl at dd's school (reception class), she has lovely blonde hair but her mum does'nt brush it, this morning it looked like she had dreds, it upsets me that her mother can send her to school looking like she's been dragged through a hedge.

I know they don't like having there hair brushed but i always send dd in looking tidy.

I just feel like taking a brush to her (i would'nt)

AIBU?

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 17/09/2008 11:14

My daughter has fine, curly, blonde hair. It's washed and brushed every night, and I brush it every morning before she goes to school. By the time we get there, she looks as if she's been dragged through a hedge. By the time I pick her up from school she looks half ferral.

Some hair is just like that!

But it's not just hair you're judging commenting on though, is it.

fleacircus · 17/09/2008 11:14

Seems a bit surprising that such young children are picking up on this girl's appearance unprompted - are you sure that the suggestion she has nits doesn't in fact originate from another concerned mum?

2beornot2be · 17/09/2008 11:14

Not sure why that posted so many times

Original poster
Marne · 17/09/2008 11:15

Slarty, im not saying she has nits because her hairs not brushed, her hair is dirty (not just tangled), she has alsorts stuck in it.

I dont brush dd2's hair as she has tight curls and it always looks like a birds nest but i wash it a couple times a week.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/09/2008 11:16

I do brush DS#2's hair and it still looks like that. He still has very fine fluffy hair.

DItto DD. But I am itching to get her's cut but she'd leave home. She has rat's tail hair just like I did as a child.

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2008 11:17

does she look happy?

TwoMore · 17/09/2008 11:18

LMAO @ half ferral, thats just how my daughter looks by lunch time!

belgo · 17/09/2008 11:19

good question cheesesarnie. I have no problem with children looking half feral as long as they are happy children.

Original poster
Marne · 17/09/2008 11:20

She does'nt look happy, she's very shy, quite and never looks happy. I think her mum has had trouble with her settling in to school. Her mum seems nice and friendly.

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 17/09/2008 11:20

dd's best friend has hair that permanently looks like that. it's a shame as she's a pretty girl but she just looks a mess constantly.

i'll admit my kids hardly look like stepford children but i try not to cross the line into just looking like homeless kids

LilRedWG · 17/09/2008 11:21

DD (admittedly only 2) has real baby hair and rarely looks nicely brushed - even if it is! I suspect she will have matted, tangled hair as she gets older and people will think I neglect her.

CountessDracula · 17/09/2008 11:23

I have added the photos of dd
(ignore the huge tongue it belongs to a dead bear in West Virginia, it isn't hers!)

Is the hair like this?

LilRedWG · 17/09/2008 11:24

She is gorgeous CD! I'm guessing this is how DD's hair will be as she gets older.

Original poster
Marne · 17/09/2008 11:25

Surely though if your child has this hair and hates having it brushed/washed you would keep it short, this girl has longish hair, looks like it has never been cut (very dry ends).

Maybe i should just get a life

I just feel sorry for her as she is a sweet little thing and looks so sad

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 17/09/2008 11:25

Not that your DD's hair looks matted or tangled.

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2008 11:25

marne you described your dd as having a birds nest-maybe the girls mother is judging as much as your judging her on another website?

cd-awwwwwwww!

lljkk · 17/09/2008 11:26

What WWB said, this is not about just hair, is it?
DD hates me brushing her hair; it's lovely blonde thin hair, but she's often going in looking scruffy.
Oh, and my baby sometimes has dirty socks on (assuming he has socks on at all).
DD doesn't mind state of her hair (she's almost 7 now, too), baby doesn't mind state of his feet.

Marne, maybe you could invite the untidy-hair child around to yours for a playdate, and play hairdressers (not wash, just brushing and ties and style) with her, get it out of your system?

bozza · 17/09/2008 11:26

DD's hair is that sort. I do it every morning for nursery. On the days I am working I do a pony tail because I don't have time for bunches (wonky crown to throw into the mix) and then do bunches on the two other days as these stay in better. Absolutely nobody else can do her hair in any semblence. And I don't wash it very often because then that makes it slippy and even harder to style!

Original poster
Marne · 17/09/2008 11:27

No Cd, her hair is much longer, thin and straight (like a child from oliver twist)

Your dd's hair is simalar to my dd2 (on my proffile looking her worst), she's lovely DC.

OP posts:
lljkk · 17/09/2008 11:29

The thing is, I know a family where the children (5 of them) are always impecably dressed, they look wonderful. Their mother is a real perfectionist where appearances are concerned.
But from what I know of their family life, I don't think the children are happy at all. Tidy and happy are two very different things.

cheesesarnie · 17/09/2008 11:31

marne your girls are beutiful

SlartyBartFast · 17/09/2008 11:32

well if she is that, messy hair, lookingsad, you would hope the school would have noticed - i think they have to be pretty hot on child protection.
on the other hand plenty of teachers i know are completely judgemental, obiovusly not the mumsnetter ones!

MorningTownRide · 17/09/2008 11:32

Quote: "I would'nt be suprised if she has got nits, i see your point that she might be playing up in the mornings hense not getting around to brushing it but i would say it has'nt been brushed for a long while."

Wow Marne, I think you're being horribly judgemental.

I don't brush my hair everyday and dh doesn't brush dds hair everyday before she goes to nursery.

Hair that has not been washed for a very long time self cleans anyway, it does get nasty and greasy first though!

YABU. Get a hobby.

Original poster
Marne · 17/09/2008 11:34

Sorry if i have ofended anyone, its not just the fact its tangled, more that its dirty and she looks unhappy. My children arew not the cleanest, i don't always brush there hair but they are clean (ish) and happy. I was just worried that this little girl may get picked on for being dirty.
She looks like the type of child you see on NSPCC ads

Im new to all this playground/school stuff as dd has only just started school.

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 17/09/2008 11:35

What a horrible thread.

Now if the mum was in pyjamas....