fat bird on beach!!!!!

[matildax]

hello, i am having a bit of a 'moment'
i go on a holiday for 1 week next week with my dp and 2 of my dcs (it has taken us nearly 3 years to pay for this, as we are not well off, so its a huge deal for me that we all enjoy ourselves)
now i know its a family holiday, and im not 18 anymore, but im worried about what a state i will look on the beach... and if i will get laughed at, which will upset my dd2.
i know that when i go to the beach, i rarely look at other people (too busy running after kids!!) and i am packing sarongs etc... im just scared i get harpooned!! lol joke.
im posting on here, just to ask, do you look at people and think oh lord shes fat, or do you not really care. (im a size 18-20) and have been trying for weeks to shift some weight, it just doesnt come off, i walk daily, and wouldnt say i was mega unfit, but still very very large.
i suppose i just need a bit of encouragement, as my sister called me a a fat loser at the weekend, and i think ive taken this to heart, and feel slightly upset, instead of mega excited!!

tell me to piss of if you want, maybe im just a little bit paranoid at the moment.

and i know its about the kids having a a good time, i just dont feel very good about myself, and really want to snap out of it!!! (i dont want this to taint what should be a lovely carefree fun time for us all)
xx

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you know being attractive looking is farrrrrrr nore than your bodyshape...its about all of you as a package..your looks (hair, eyes, lips, bod, egs, boobs etc)your style and eye for detail,but more than that...its your attitude and confidence...

you sound like you have a great attitude, and your confidence will grow.

have a GREAT holiday,and enjoy watcing your kids having a blast.

I keep reading this title in active Conversations - it sounds like the title of a painting!
Enjoy your holiday

oh wow thanks again everyone
i slept better last night, and thought we do deserve this holiday, and so do my dcs. my dd is sooooooooo excited!! my ds is only 21 months, but he loves water and im sure he will want to be constantly in the pool/sea.

my dp works long hours, in a grotty job, so if anyone deserves it, it is him

i am trying not to think about what my sister said. i think she is a little crazy, and most definitely a nasty thoughtless witch!!

cod.... i have huuuuuggggee norks!!, and my legs are not too bad, but my tummy and upper arms are yuck, i would say i am quite good with colour, so i have bought a few matching accesories, eg, beach bag, head scarves and some flip flops. and a couple of quite pretty sarongs.
its the actual swim wear that i cant decide on.... where oh where will i find a really large top?? i can fit into 18 bottoms.

thankyou very much to you all, and it was lovely to read what mellyonion said, about it being the complete package.

i am starting to believe my package aint all that bad!!!

I think a tin bikini woul look shit too. anfd most uncomfortable

have a good time matildax!

Go with whatever you feel good in and to hell with what people think (if anything). 2 DCs have made sure I no longer have the body of my youth but that doesn't stop me wearing a thong bikini or going topless on the beach - the only person I am "dressing" for is DH and that's the way he likes me .

Matildax, have you tried Bravissmo? Not cheap, but they do have some swimwear in the sale and it is v flattering on us larger-norked ladies.

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I'd be really impressed that you were so brave actually. In years gone by when I was super confident about my own body, I would have failed to understand how a person could be overweight. I was naive and stupid though!

Now I have my own body issues and completely feel the other way - that anyone who goes for it and enjoys themselves on the beach despite not feeling very attractivem, is a wonderful person and someone I would probably like very much and aspire to be like.

I would also look at skinny un cellulited people and think they were probably shallow and prejudiced like I was in my yoof

I mean surely life has plenty of things to offer without spending half of it worrying about your thighs...yes? People who try too hard to maintain 'perfection' just depress me.

Roxy do some nice, supportive bikinis. I got one reduced and it is so much more flattering and easy to wear than most.

Rubyloopy - the Roxy one was from La Redoute as well.

good selection on here
i second the idea that confidence is everything.No body really gives a toss what uyou look like as long as you don't behave in weird way.
I know this from experience.Dh will NOT strip down on the beachan likes to go fully dressed.It is mortifying.He sits there in jeans and walking boots hiding in the shade of a brolly.EVERYONE was looking at him.Some people evn made comments.
It was 42 degrees.
Meanwhile I was ( size 20 at the time with white white skin) having a ball digging sandcastles with dd.No-one evn noticed us.

right oyu need a BRA sized swimsuit

do not fear about this.
but imo you need to spend ££ to get one

Deffo get a bra-sized swimsuit from somewhere like Bravissimo who cater for large-norked people. It is well worth the ££. I bought one for my large-ish saggy ones this year and wore it all the time.

the panache grace is good
only in blakc in bravissimo but is oft BNWT on ebay

TBH, I don't look at undressed people on the beach and think badly of them because they're fat. It's humiliating enough for me to wonder if somebody's noticed my hairy legs, varicose veins, where I had those moles removed.

BUT, I am a bitch and think mean thoughts if I see fat girls dressed badly and accentuating their muffin tops!! Or wearing a short mini when their legs or chunky.

ps, your sister is a little confused iwth 'isshoos'. YOU are giving up your chance to earn/save/progress in your career for the sake of your children. You and your husband are a team. Does she not grasp that??!

hello everyone,

cod, i have taken your advice and bought a panache grace tankini top, and bikini top from ebay BNWT!!!
so im happy with them. thankyou all very much.
i will report again after my hols.

and naughtiestgirlisamonitor, my sister has serious 'isshoos'. she cant see her own faults, just everyone elses. even though most of the time its not said in a a nice way, she really could win awards for her lack of tact, and her zero compassion rating!!! but sod her, i will be ok.
xx

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It doesn't matter what you look like. just keep telling yourself that you will never see these people again. Enjoy yourself, don't give a shit what others are thinking.

true daphne i will.
cod i got tankini top in pink fushia and the bikini top in cool blue, as i already have the bikini 'control' bottoms.
thankyou i really appreciate it .
xx

thanks fiofio, i think i just needed to hear it from others iykwim?
im back to feeling really excited, and although i feel quite sad that she has to be so awful, i just hope she took on board what i said back to her, and has a good hard look at herself. (and im not talking in the mirror!!! )
xx