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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

fat bird on beach!!!!!

100 replies

matildax · 15/09/2008 14:28

hello, i am having a bit of a 'moment'
i go on a holiday for 1 week next week with my dp and 2 of my dcs (it has taken us nearly 3 years to pay for this, as we are not well off, so its a huge deal for me that we all enjoy ourselves)
now i know its a family holiday, and im not 18 anymore, but im worried about what a state i will look on the beach... and if i will get laughed at, which will upset my dd2.
i know that when i go to the beach, i rarely look at other people (too busy running after kids!!) and i am packing sarongs etc... im just scared i get harpooned!! lol joke.
im posting on here, just to ask, do you look at people and think oh lord shes fat, or do you not really care. (im a size 18-20) and have been trying for weeks to shift some weight, it just doesnt come off, i walk daily, and wouldnt say i was mega unfit, but still very very large.
i suppose i just need a bit of encouragement, as my sister called me a a fat loser at the weekend, and i think ive taken this to heart, and feel slightly upset, instead of mega excited!!

tell me to piss of if you want, maybe im just a little bit paranoid at the moment.

and i know its about the kids having a a good time, i just dont feel very good about myself, and really want to snap out of it!!! (i dont want this to taint what should be a lovely carefree fun time for us all)
xx

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 15/09/2008 15:14

she sounds totally vile

Janos · 15/09/2008 15:21

matildax, please don't let your sister's spiteful comments ruin your holiday! It sounds like you are really looking forward to it.

At a guess, she's either miserable about something else and taking it out on you and/or jealous. But that's her problem, not yours!

Have a wondeful time.

bloomingfedup · 15/09/2008 15:26

No one will take a blind bit of notice! Stop worrying and enjoy your trip. I am a big girl and don't care what other people think am usually too busy enjoying myself. Have fun.

hollyandnoah · 15/09/2008 15:41

hey, your sister sounds really cheeky! Ignore her, she is probably insecure in herself that she feels she needs to put others down to make herself feel better.
I was on holiday on may, and the only people that caught my eye on the beach and made me look were girls in thongs, and nothing else (WHY? ) and men in thongs... lol so people with their bums out hah!
have a look here thetrendsetter.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/curvy-swim-wear/4169/ a nice swimsuitw ill give you tons of confidence in yourself, and if you feel great you look g reat!

Sorry if any of this was siad before i just read the op.
Enjoy your holiday! Lucky lady!

bubblagirl · 15/09/2008 15:51

life is too short to worry about what other people and think

and people who do comment are shallow and have nothing better to do witht here time or are insecure about themselves so feel the need to put others down to feel better

you go and enjoy your holiday big thin fat small it really doesnt matter what matters is you have a good time with family and if for health reasons you want to lose weight then good for you but dont ever do it for any one else

as for your sis comments as family we tend to bite where it hurts in arguments so id take it with a pinch of salt she knows your sensitive about your weight and bit

enjoy yourselves

Jux · 15/09/2008 15:55

DH would think he'd died and gone to heaven if he saw you on the beach. Don't believe everyone thinks skinnies are lovelies!

lovecat · 15/09/2008 15:57

What a cow your sister is!!

I was in Menorca in July and tbh the only people I looked askance at were the ones who'd lobstered themselves on day 1 and spent the next week hanging their poor scorched flesh out of too-tight swimwear... size 8 to size 30, there were plenty of offenders! If I did notice a larger lady, it was only to think wow, if she can look that good in a bikini then why am I covering myself up (personal issues re tum that resembles sunken viccy sponge)?!

Have a lovely holiday, I'm sure you'll look fab

Sycamoretree · 15/09/2008 16:06

Ok, you definitely need to decide now that you will not care less what anyone thinks - your holiday sounds too precious for that. And I speak from the POV of someone who last year was a size 18 on the beach and this year was a size 12.

In your OP you do seem to suggest you might like to lose some weight. My own history tells me that until you decide it for yourself - and I mean, REALLY want it and are in the right place to go for it, it's an impossible hill to climb.

It took the birth of my second LO and the death of my father to make me look at my life in a different enough way to get the courage up to climb the weight loss mountain.

I wish you love and luck - and most importantly, I wish you a FABULOUS holiday

PinkChick · 15/09/2008 16:15

Hi..we go away in 2 weeks, im 16-18 after having lost 2 1/2 stone recently, so although slimmer, not toned..we went to same resort last year and its meant to be very pserish and trendy and i can honestly say that whilst sat at beach cafe/bar surrounded by skinny minnies, not ONE of them glanced my way and looked me up and down!..not ONE of them!..its only people like me (and maybe you) that look at others because we feel inadequate..thats meant in a nice way!)..so honestly DO NOT worry about it..i even bought a tankini this year!..how brave am i!..hope you have a lovely time

oh and i got some fab kaftans in matalan sale to 'cover all' when walking around..they hide a multitude of sins

Salleroo · 15/09/2008 16:17

What a nasty thing to say. Well done for retaliating.

What to do - Get yourself some fake tan, Johnsons is cheap and works. Before hols, exfoliate, moisturise, then apply this in circular motions all over. Do it a couple of days in advance as you may want to top up. Pop to New Look (if you have one close by), get yourself some nice chunky beads (obv this depends on how active, involved, splashy you are going to get). If money stretches, get yourself a pedicure, if not paint your toes a fab eyepopping red. Pop jewels on with bikini and sarong and sashay to the pool/beach with a big smile on your face. Confident people always look gorgeous, it doesn't matter what size.

Have a great holiday, you deserve it after all the hard saving. Dont give another thought to her comment.

Salleroo · 15/09/2008 16:20

Tie Rack at the airport do some fab brightly covered kaftans.

PinkChick · 15/09/2008 16:20

ive found my tankini although pink and white and not my normal all black looks better on me than one piece, it 'breaks' me up so to speak and as its halter emphasizes my norks..show off your good bits and yes, another shout for some fake tan and exfoliating!..am 'trying' to also do some situps for the next 2 weeks on the of chnace it will make 'some' difference..ooh and i also bought a cowboy style hat!..looks cool and funky flip flops, i know ill be same for first day as your saying now, but really you wont care after that..and nor will i.x

sparklesandnowinefor6weeks · 15/09/2008 16:21

Your sister sounds truely horrible and someone who you could do without in your life, do not let her influence you in any way, she sounds like a horrid bully who wants to demean and control you - don't let her

The thing you have to remember is that EVERYONE on the beach is self-concious about their bodies whether they are a size 8 or 38. We all have insecurities about our bodies!!

You will look fabulous and you will have a great holiday!

PinkChick · 15/09/2008 16:26

i remember years ago on hol in zante, first hol with (quite skinny then) dp..we argued as we'd had drink and he was gawking at some slapper doing the macarana(yes that long ago!) in a bikini..so i slapped him and walked off on my own!...got to our hotel all drunk and emotional and two (very slim)girls came and sat with me..told them what it was about and they started laughing , but they actually said i had it all wrong, even though one of them was slim, shed recently lost weight and was sooo conseious about her flabby bits and the other one said her legs were all dimply and she wouldnt wear bather if not combined with shorts so she swam/sunbathed in them too..always remember that night!..they were so lovely and made me feel much better about myself..and that was from two very slim looking uber confident girls!

mabanana · 15/09/2008 16:28

She doesn't look too miserable, does she?
Mrs Pierce Brosnan

ingles2 · 15/09/2008 16:31

your sister sounds like she is eaten up with jealousy Matildax. Maybe she is envious of your family, being able to stay at home etc....
Bear that in mind and have a wonderful relaxing holiday that you know you deserve

ingles2 · 15/09/2008 16:31

your sister sounds like she is eaten up with jealousy Matildax. Maybe she is envious of your family, being able to stay at home etc....
Bear that in mind and have a wonderful relaxing holiday that you know you deserve

ingles2 · 15/09/2008 16:32

whoops...

beansontoast · 15/09/2008 16:36

brilliant mabanana!

lizandlulu · 15/09/2008 16:46

you should wear what you feel comfortable in, sod everyone else, it is your holiday.

some people dont engage their brain before speaking.

mabanana · 15/09/2008 16:48

Dur! Didn't mean to put one on with a stupid 'before' picture.
There was a fantastic picture of them snogging in the surf the other day - he is so into her and her body!

Sycamoretree · 15/09/2008 16:51

Not surprised - she looks fab - it's amazing what body confidence can do to how appealing a person seems.

MmeLindt · 15/09/2008 16:52

Don't worry for one moment about what your sister said, she is obviously a bitter and sad woman.

I agree with the others, get yourself a tankini or swimsuit that really suits you, show off your cleavage, treat yourself to some a lovely beady necklace and a fancy sarong and walk tall.

We were in Centerparcs in Holland last year and there was a woman there, she must have been about an size 18, and she looked so fab. Everyone was looking at her because she looked so groomed and smart and self confident. The skinny waif sitting next to her hardly got a glance

mummy5bellies · 15/09/2008 16:56

Just go, and have a wonderful time with your family, don't think about it for one MINUTE . As my name suggests, I have retained a little, ahem, baby weight after each child, and I live in Cornwall and go to the beach all the time. (having said that, this summer our usual attire on the windswept sands has been boots and kaggies). The fake tan is a great idea, it gives you a real boost x x x Enjoy your hols x

Original poster
matildax · 15/09/2008 17:04

oh thankyou everyone, honestly you have made my day, you really have!!
mabanana, that pic is excellent, just what i needed to see i think she looks lovely.
im off in to town on wednesday with my £55. i have got to spend all on me!!!! so i will be looking for some beads, tankini (nork enhancing!!) and some fake tan.
i feel so much better, i have that 'bubbly' feeling in my tum, you know the one you get when you are excited!!
pinkchick, have a great time....... lets walk tall
ingles2, my sister does not like anyone having anything, or getting any attention, unless it is her, or her dcs. my dp thinks she is a deluded sad twat, i am starting to agree with him. i am going to stay away from her, she causes me great distress, and although i wish her no harm, i do not think she is good for me.
ok im off to run up and down the stairs, in the hope of a slight 'tone up'
xx

OP posts:
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