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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put ds into a nursery at this age for this long?

52 replies

ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 21:17

i'm starting college/year 12/as year next septemeber and am thinking that i will have to put ds into a nursery (he will be nearly 3 by then)

both my parents work and dp will be at university or studying and athough he says he wouldnt mind looking after ds he cant obv take him to lectures e.t.c

i would be dropping him off at about 8 and picking him up at 3.30

also visiting in some of my free periods

does this sound very unreasonable and shitty? should i make dp watch him...

personally i think that nursery is a good thing cause he willl learn to bond with other children and it will prepare him for school e.t.c

aibu to put him into college at such a young age?

OP posts:
Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 21:17

can i also add that my dad is the head teacher of the school/sixth form

and the nursery is next door

so we are both there if there is a problem

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 14/09/2008 21:19

Granted he was used to it because he had been there since he was a baby, but DS was in nursery 8-6 5 days a week at that age and it certainly doesn't seem to have done any lasting home.

Ewe · 14/09/2008 21:20

No problem at all IMO, you need education to provide a good life for him so it's essential.

PinkyDinkyDooToo · 14/09/2008 21:20

THose hours don't sound too bad for a 3 year old. It is normal to feel guilt but I'm sure it will be great for his social skills etc. and he will prbably really enjoy it

cmotdibbler · 14/09/2008 21:21

No problem - my DS has been in nursery from 4.5 months from 8-5, and he adores it. If you dp has some flexibility, thats great, but theres no way he'd be able to care for your DS everyday

MrsMattie · 14/09/2008 21:21

Plenty of people have to put their children into daycare for much longer hours at a younger age. Needs must. I'm sure your DS will be absolutely fine.

KVC · 14/09/2008 21:22

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georgimama · 14/09/2008 21:23

God no YANBU, my DS has been in nursery 8-5.30 4 days a week since 9 months!

Fair play to you for getting on with your education - you are doing your child a great service as well as yourself by setting an example.

Pawslikepaddington · 14/09/2008 21:24

That's not bad-my dd went 10-5.30pm at that age. You will get a lot of snide comments from SAHM when they start school though, but you are doing something to improve his life, and it is good for him-it teaches him to socialise, and that sometimes he has to wait for attention etc, it is a good thing!

ScottishMummy · 14/09/2008 21:24

how exciting for you, plans,goals.your ds will love it.dont let anyone put you off.someone will rock up with a "i know someomne who knows a nursery nurse and she said..." ignore the doom sayers and mutterers your baby your choices.you seem to have thought about this and have made plans - so good luck

my baby went in nursery 6mth from 8-4.30.i work ft absolutely no problemo.lo loves nursery made lots of wee pals,has fun,likes the staff

DabblesInDabbles · 14/09/2008 21:27

why not take one more year off?

You won't get this time back with him. and would waiting one more year really do you any harm???

or do it part time?

onepieceoflollipop · 14/09/2008 21:29

This sounds completely reasonable. To put it into perspective, some of my sahm friends put their chidren into playgroup/nursery from the age of 2.5 years from around 9am-2pm (they stay for a lunchtime session as well) 5 days per week in termtime, and the children are all fine. (what they do wouldn't be my choice, but it works for their families).

Wishing you all the best with your studies ec.

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 21:29

The nursery next to the school is leapfrog

there is another nursery a 15 min drive away which is smaller and rural, very cute and twee but very expensive

i think leapfrog will be fine

does anybody else's dc go to a leapfrog? is it good?

OP posts:
bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 21:31

He will be fine, more than fine. As others have said a good nursery has many benefits. You are doing a great thing furthering your education. As long as you happy with the nursery - do not worry.

Bowddee · 14/09/2008 21:33

You say "also visiting in some of my free periods".

I wouldn't do this. It can be VERY difficult to leave afterwards.

But 8-3.30 is fine. Don't worry about it.

PavlovtheCat · 14/09/2008 21:33

Perfectly fine, you are progressing yourself and at the same time integrating him with other children.

And your DP can help too from time to time, and you can see him in your free periods, altough you might find it easier not to, it might upset him a bit if you come then leave? But that is a personal thing between you and him and how he manages.

georgimama · 14/09/2008 21:39

DabblesinDabbles - the OP won't be 16/17/18/19 again either. If she feels ready to go back to education now, she should do so. Another year and she may not feel able to do so for all sorts of reasons.

ScottishMummy · 14/09/2008 21:40

you have needs and goals too, balance and prioritise that with son daycare but also continuing education will make you happy.potentially increase wages etc great role model. exciting to have plans and things to do

being a mum isnt a giving things up competition you need something for yourself too

chipmunkswhereareyou · 14/09/2008 21:42

Agree with Bowdee... it might unsettle him if you pop in and then have to leave again. Better not to imho.

Re Leapfrog, these chain nurseries all vary - some branches will be better than others. You won't learn much on the whole by asking about Leapfrog as a whole, so I recommend you try posting on the nurseries board about that specific location/ branch if you have any concerns.

Generally, look for happy kids, caring staff, cleanliness, low staff turnover, and ask around locally for info on the reputation. Imho Ofsted reports are worth a look but not the be all and end all.

bloomingfedup · 14/09/2008 21:42

I'm with georgi on this one. OP should grab the oportunities she has now with both hands. I am twice her age and I wish I had studies more when I was younger. the little boy is not going to miss out but he may if OP does'nt carry on with her studies.

SammyK · 14/09/2008 21:43

YANBU - I think by 3yrs they need a bit more than home has to offer anyway, and those hours are fine.

I would use your free periods for study, then you will have less coursework to do in 'mummy and DS time'.

If you haven't already why don't you give the nursery a call and ask to go visit and look around?

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 21:44

i really feel that i should get all my education out the way and get a job as soon as i can because i will still be spending time with ds and i can also start earning and providing for him as soon as i can.

also im 15 - will be 16 when i go to college and my social life has pretty much gone as it is NOT THAT I CARE i wouldnt swap it for ds ever ever ever. but i havnt really got anything to lose and i will still get a chance to socialize with people my own age and he will with his.

at the moment he stays with gran/dp/other family who have the time to spend with him but i dont feel like i can keep relying on them particualrly nan who is getting old and wants some time to herself and grandad and dp who needs to study

sorry this is turning into a bit of a rant

OP posts:
chipmunkswhereareyou · 14/09/2008 21:44

Also, presumably you won't be studying during the college hols so will have extra time to catch up with ds. Have you asked whether they will let you pay a reduced rate for reduced hours during school hols given you are a student....you never know....unlikely but worth asking!

KVC · 14/09/2008 21:45

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georgimama · 14/09/2008 21:47

EthanChristopher, I take off my imaginary hat to you, you sound fab. Good luck with your studies, I'm sure you won't need it, you sound like a girl with a plan and a great support network from your family .

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