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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put ds into a nursery at this age for this long?

52 replies

ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 21:17

i'm starting college/year 12/as year next septemeber and am thinking that i will have to put ds into a nursery (he will be nearly 3 by then)

both my parents work and dp will be at university or studying and athough he says he wouldnt mind looking after ds he cant obv take him to lectures e.t.c

i would be dropping him off at about 8 and picking him up at 3.30

also visiting in some of my free periods

does this sound very unreasonable and shitty? should i make dp watch him...

personally i think that nursery is a good thing cause he willl learn to bond with other children and it will prepare him for school e.t.c

aibu to put him into college at such a young age?

OP posts:
Janos · 14/09/2008 21:47

No, not unreasonable, dare I say he might really enjoy it!

You should be able to get some help with childcare costs, try entitledto.com for an idea what you might get.

StealthPolarBear · 14/09/2008 21:47

That is actually a very short day - my DS has been doing longer days since he was 1
Good for you, although I would agree with the not visiting thing, DS used to be fine at nursery (I'd occasionally watch through the window before collecting him) but cry on drop off / pick up. If you have any free time do some extra studying or just relax so that when you pick him up you're ready to be mummy again!

StealthPolarBear · 14/09/2008 21:48

You get 5x2.5hr sessions free about now, don't you?

KVC · 14/09/2008 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ScottishMummy · 14/09/2008 21:48

regardless of ones choice,the happiness resulting from those choice is what is important

too many tub thumpers have an automatic reaction that nursery always baaaad.

not necessarily so

Heated · 14/09/2008 21:48

3 is a good age for socialising and making friends, you'll get money towards the cost and it'll benefit the both of you in the long term

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 21:52

Stealthpolarbear - i would be doing 3 or 4 as levels (havnt decided yet but i think probs 3 because 4 is abit of a stretch with a little one)

for each subject you get 6 1 hour sessions

and in one week you get 30 1 hour sessions

so i would be getting 12 1 hour sessions or 6 1 hour sessions as free periods depending on how many subjects i chose

i was put in a nursery from 7.30 - 5.30 from 1 years, i dont regret my parents decision as it was fun for me to play with my friends and sociaize but i got very upset around 4ish when parents would be picking their children up and i was still there. that is why im questioning his hours

OP posts:
morningpaper · 14/09/2008 21:55

should i make dp watch him...

Yes, if your DP is free, of course he should watch him, to reduce the amount of hours he spends in nursery and to save money

If he isn't free, then these hours are long but not unreasonable

geraldinetheluckygoat · 14/09/2008 22:00

Hello, Im a childminder, and think that this amount of time sounds absolutely fine, I think at 3 they really love to be around lots of other kids, I bet he will have a great time! Agree that free period visits might unsettle him (or you!), I'd use them to get homework done instead, but that's just what I'd do. Best of luck

chipmunkswhereareyou · 14/09/2008 22:02

I don't want to sound patronising but Ethan you sound so mature for your age and quite wonderful that you care so much about all these issues despite being so young.

Very best wishes for your studies - you are a credit to teenage mums who get so much bad press. Good luck!

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 22:17

thanks chipmunks

is it really a bad idea to visit during free lessons?

i hadnt reli thought it would upset him to see mummy come and go

also with nurserys can you like turn up some days and not others? cause im thinking maybe if dp is free or i get a day off or gran wants him or w/e he can just not go in and we wont have to pay?

im very new to this lol

OP posts:
geraldinetheluckygoat · 14/09/2008 22:23

You will probably have to agree to certain hours and pay for those if you go or not, I would think.

StealthPolarBear · 14/09/2008 22:25

depends on the nursery
1st one ds was in were very easy going, you could change days at the last minute
this one less so
the sessions i was talking abt were the govt early years grant (I think). I could be wrong but I don't think thats what you were takling about so it may be that you're entitled to more than you think

platypussy · 14/09/2008 22:26

Ethan - from another thread I thought your DS was at nursery already.

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 22:27

o i was talking about college lessons lol... sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 22:28

pp - he is but only a couple of days a week and only 9-1 the res of the days he is looked after.

OP posts:
Original poster
ethanchristopher · 14/09/2008 22:28

and it is a different nursery

OP posts:
Pannacotta · 14/09/2008 22:30

Depends on your DS really (and the nursery too).
Some kids are fine with those kinds of hours in nursery, some aren't. My DS1 is 3.8 and does one full day of 9.30-4 and one half day and he finds the full day too much, but the room he is in is pretty busy and full on.
Can you do a trial day or two and see how it goes?

penona · 14/09/2008 22:32

Good on you. I am a SAHM but most of my friends have gone back to work and have their children (under 2) in nursery longer hours than that. And their children are fine, happy, socialised, etc (and they eat with a spoon much better than mine )

As others have said, a happy, balanced mum is the most important thing for a child. He sounds very lucky to have you and your family and DP.

Good luck with it all.

Tiramissu · 14/09/2008 22:42

For a 3 year old the hours aren't long. Dont worry, after all he is 3 and can talk so he can always tell you how his day was.
Good luck with your studies

trumpetgirl · 14/09/2008 22:48

I had to put dd in nursery when I started university. She was nearly 4 at the time, but she loved it. She had never spent time with children of her own age before. Even when she made a fuss and said she didn't want to go, I would come back as soon as possible and she didn't want to go home.
I thought that I would visit her during free periods, but actually she didn't want me to, and it was an ideal oppotunity to get work done.
It did also help to prepare her for school, and some of her nursery friends go to the same school as her.
You aren't being shitty at all. At the end of the day, you are making a better life for you and your ds.
If you were working, you would have to do this anyway.
I think you're doing a fantastic thing and wish you all the best

HonoriaGlossop · 14/09/2008 22:57

Agree with Pannacotta, it depends on the child! I don't think you can know if the hours are too much until you see how he likes it really. Kids are so different; my ds would far rather be at home all the time even now (and he's six!) but some kids as you can see on here any day, love nursery and get a lot from it.

So I guess I'm saying you'll get as many different opinions on here as there are posters, but all that will really matter is how your ds takes to it!! Good luck.

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 15/09/2008 18:08

do students get a revised price for nursery?

like a student discount?

or am i just clutching at straws...

OP posts:
penona · 16/09/2008 10:36

You might get a discount, it has to be worth asking. And if not, try another nursery and see what they do. Round here nurseries do discounts for quieter days - mostly fridays as PT working parents all seem to want Friday's off (of course!) so the nurseries tend to be quieter on those days. So you may get a discount for one day but not others.

Worth asking, also worth asking what govt assisted help you can get, the nursery should know this. Or is there someone at your college who could maybe advise?

halia · 16/09/2008 20:47

absolutly fine, Ds started nursery at 17 months p/t 3 days a week, occasionally doing a full week. He went up to f/t aged 3 1/4 this summer.
Drop off is between 8am and 9.30am depending on what else I have on in the morning, pick up is between 4.30 and 5.30pm.

He learns ALL SORTS at nursery and his social skills are excellent. He's got a lovely little group of friends as well.

KVC point about happy and fulfilled/succeful mum = better chance of happy/ fulfilled/succesful child is very well made. I treid being a SAHM and was horribly miserable - not at all good for DS. I work p/t and I'm studying for an MA p/t now and I am so much happier, I have more energy as well even though I'm working longer hours because its doing something I love.

I've also learnt that after a bad day its better for us BOTH for me to come home at 4.30 and relax for half an hour or so and then go to pick him up at 5.30pm when I'm calm, rested and pleased to see him, than to pick him up at 4.30, tired and stressed.

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