To think that my MIL is just a tad patronising?

[steviesgirl]

Was over MIL with my dd about an hour ago, (she lives next door to us), and she said she was just about to get tea/dinner for the men, (her husband and the workforce), we have a farm and she said to me "You can stay longer if you want, but she, (meaning my dd), will want something to eat now, unless she has a bit of bread and butter". I had every intention of going before she mentioned tea for the men, to get my dd's tea, I never even wanted to stay, as I knew my little girl would be getting hungry.

As I was leaving MIL then piped up "She will probably need a nappy change now"! Is it me, or is my MIL forgetting who my dd's mother actually is! Surely I make the judgement as to when my dd is hungry or needs her nappy changing?

You live next door to your MIL?!?

Tell me, by 'next door' there is, like, a 2 mile lane between your properties, and woods, yes? please?

Think she was just acting like a caring Grandma.

Fabio, maybe she meant the next county. Yes that sounds normal.

Hmmmm very difficult to say who is the unreasonable one here.

Could you tell us what time you arrived at MIL and what time you fed and changed your dd? Only if you want to.

This is why I never go to my in-laws house

She is being Mother hen.
Have medal for living next door to your MIL.
Take what she says with a pinch of salt.

when you say she was about to cook for the men, do you mean, she was cooking food for your dp, but wanted you and your dd to go home and eat?

My MIL says such things all the time.

Eg. In, say, January, "Have you got a coat for DD", as we're already in the car on the way out for the day.

The internal dialogue goes along the lines of "Of course I have, what sort of person do you think I am? And I remebered it before we got into the car too."

Though in fact I just sing-say "Yee-ees" and grind my teeth.

It annoys the arse off me, but I think it actually is only because they are interferring old hags caring Grannys

We have a farm as well, it is quite normal in farming families to live next to the in laws !

maybe its a danger of being too close? my mil lives a few doors up from us and she is very condecending towards me i.e.
"you need a proper buggy"
"i was just to saying to dh that baby needs shoes"
to dd2 "oh here is your sunday dinner, get some goodness into you. i like her coming here for sunday lunch at least she gets some goodness"
"how often do you change her nappy. she looks sore, you must be leaving her too long. they need cream on you? do you have any? you should get some its cheap in wilkos"
"she should be walking by now. i was saying to so and so that im sure she would walk if you just got her some shoes. she agreed. there is a sale on at clarks you know"

and im sure there will be more to come. i just nod and smile and sometimes agree whilst swearing and muttering muderous thoughts under my breath

bless her she is a lovely woman with some very strange opinions.

My MIL is the same.[angry} I usually say,"I don't know how I manage without you" and that shuts her cakehole up.

I CANNOT believe you live next door to her.

Yes, I do. She lives at the other end of my garden path in her bungalow. She even confessed to coming into my house when me and my husband were away once. When she was supposed to have the key for Emergencies only!! Her excuse was she was looking for some deck chairs.

I would be mega paronoid that she had her binoculars out and was spying on me.

My DM does that. Drives me crazy, but without having a massive fallout, not much I can do about it.

i hate it when people assume they know more about your child than you

its like BUGGER OFF

yanbu

and poor you for the housing arrangements

Give her a bit of rope. (to hang herself? ). To be fair, she was probably only thinking aloud, as in "I've got to do such-and-such for the men, and what about the little one?" If you're on top of things, why would it be a problem? Make a joke of it....

Reply with "Really? Do you think so? Oh, gosh. What do you think I should do?" and look very worried. She'll either take the hint, or call social services.

You're oversensitive because it's your first baby and you think she doubts your mothering abilities. A few years and a few kids down the line you will be kicking them out the door to your MILs so you can get some peace.

Don't burn your bridges when you've got free childcare on the doorstep.

My MIL started that patronising nonsense way before DD was born. She spent 6 months trying to persuade us to change the name we had chosen until she found out that her friends daughter in Australia (she's VERY successful you know ) had also chosen the same name.

Next she spent months talking absolute bo**ocks about the MMR jab and how DD shouldn't have it. She had read all the bad news stories but not the multiple retractions from the Doctor that caused the uproar.

Now she confines herself to pointing out how DD has behaved 'less than perfectly', even to complete strangers in restaurants. In fact DD is very easy to keep amused in restaurants, or any anywhere else, but MIL wants her to be a pretty little girl and she's a tomboy. Ho-hum.

I just cut her dead now when she starts blithering on, and even go so far as to leave the room if possible.

she sounds ok to me.

How come she lives next door? Did you buuy or rent near her?