To be annoyed that dp has put the heating on and lied about it.

[twinsetandpearls]

Do does feel the cold really easily but under our present financial circumstances I have said I would like the heatin to stay off as long as possible. We must simply layer up and sit under blamkets. Dp agreed.
I also get very hot because of my medication and it makes me feel really ill.

Dp is a bit sniffly and when I came home the house was really hot, I said is the heating on, dp said no. He works from home. Just now I said to him it is really hot in here and I am feeling ill is it on and he said no. I said I will just check, he then had a minor paddy and said "My word should be enough why do you have to check." The heating was on, I have turned it off and have now had to open the door to let air in the house. Dp has gone to bed in a huff.

Well perhaps the small electric heater is a fair compromise. Obviously heating the whole house is lovely as when you pop down for a drink or whatever you don't get chilly. But in the current climate (financially and weather wise) it is a luxury most of us are reassessing.

Any way you can switch off all radiators save the one in the room he works in? Plus blanket over his knees (DH feels the cold and does this when working at home), nice warm socks and hot water bottles. Take him a cup of cocoa and work out a compromise. YANBU, but he's feeling guilty, I suspect, and it's not worth falling out over.

Thats a good idea, I did try turning the radiotors off in rooms we don;t use as much, but he turns them back on!

Just seen your profile pics - could he snuggle up with the dog?

No it isn't worth falling out over, but there is an underlying tension when I feel we are not working as a team.

Och, talk it over again - you need to both agree somehow, or it won't work. DH is a bit the same - think he has poorer circulation, tbh, but we're working on it. See if you can both come up with a plan.

lol onepieceoflollipop I keep kicking the dog away from me ( not literally I am not a complete bitch) as he keeps trying to sit with me and I cannot take any more heat. I will send him up to dp.

No, sorry, I didn't mean that it shouldn't bother you, I meant try not to fight over it - I get very vexed over things like this too, but try to be positive about it - I smother him in blankets and cups of coffee if I'm home when he's working at home.

I doubt very much he is feeling guilty tbh, he doesn;t really do guilt or being in the wrong.

whats all tis reasonabvle chit chat and advice and stuff

this the aibu topic

I think you need to have a chat together and sort out a compromise. Sounds like you have bith over reacted over this.

When he works from home does he have an office? Can this room be warmed to his liking?

TBH I can see his point too. I like to be warm, and do feel the cold, but I hate being bundled up in jumpers and blankets. However, I can also see your point in the need to save money. You need a compomise.

I would really not recommend that he turns the heating on for a limited amount of time in the daytime and then off again and then back on again in the evening. This is a very inefficient use of a boiler. It is better to have it on all day on a very low heat, which is all you need if it is on all the time. You need a higher setting, which uses more energy, each time it turns itself on, to get the equivalent heat. At least that's what I've found with my boiler.

Last year I did an experiment. Left it on all day and all night on a very low temp for a month, then did the usual coming on at 6 O'Clock for a couple of hours then again in the evening, and found that without a doubt, it was cheaper to leave it on all the time. I do have a very modern up to date heater though.

Ah, I see, twinset. Oh well, one can but hope. And yes, zippi, you're right

The compromise seems to be this. Mr Twinset:

electric heater, dog and duvet on lap. Large urn of cocoa by his side. Ready Brek for breakfast (keeps tummy glowing warm according to advert). Woolly slippers and fingerless gloves.

Twinset: Windows all wide open. Bikini. Jug of iced lemonade. Icecubes for lunch.

Sorted.I am going to train as a mediator I think.

lol onepieceoflollopop.

I have been up with a mug of cocoa apologised for beng a tyrannical bitch and tactfully ignored that he is watching a dvd upstairs with dd at this time.

Can I have a gold star? preferably an iced one.

(in a friendly gesture, that should cool you off a bit!)

He probably "tactfully ignored" that you have been downstairs discussing him on mnet at this time.

i suspect i have got my first chilblain of the year already

He doesn't know I am on mumsnet he thinks I am making an electronic markbook, although he has probably guessed.

Where are you zippi that is that cold.

I would be annoyed at him lying to me - it's very juvenille indeed.
With the way heating has increased I have told my household that they will have to get used to the cold! Jumpers, extra layers and thick socks for us! THer'll be one room heated. You'll get dressed very quickly in the mornings!! I can remember living like this. THere was only one room heated and you got changed there. You also invested in a good hot water bottle!

Also the very thought of heating up a home so much that you have to open the windows to get it to cool down - what a waste!

I had worked from home recently and too found it cold. But you can get up and love about - go out for a walk and heat yourself up! Get a cuppa tea. Your wardrobe is upstairs - put on extra clothes.

What he did actually makes me very cross...

YABU

He is lying because you are unreasonable about this and he does not want a fuss

jasper, why is it unreasonable to want to keep heating bills down?

OK, so the lying isn't good. But it does sound as if you were a bit 'forceful' with him.

And second the view of one of the other posters, when you're working at home you do have a right to heat, just like you do when you're at work.

Although it was quite warm late this afternoon, earlier in the afternoon the temperature - according to our thermometer - dropped to around 13 degrees, so it was quite cold.

And if he feels the cold, it's a bit mean of you, who is always hot, to criticise him!

I grew up in a house like that divedaisy, with no heating ever on.

It was miserable. I hated it. It's one of the strongest memories I've got, being woken up by the cold and seeing my breath steaming into the bedroom and not wanting to get out of bed because it was just so cold. Miserable.

it's not unreasonable to want to keep heating bills down

It's unreasonable to expect someone to keep the bills/ heating so much down they are uncomfortable.

Then make them more uncomfortable by giving them a row/inducing them to fib

But I don;t want to make him uncomfortable, we have agreed together as a couple that we need to reduce our bills and therefore need to try and use the heating less. I didn't induce him to fib, I asked him if the heating was on because it was unbearably hot in the house. He was next to the radiator, otherwise I would have just checked. He lied 3 or 4 times and then got shirty. I have agreed to use the tumble drier only in an emergency and to remember to switch lights off. He wonders around the house tutting at every light!