To be annoyed at pub banter

[closingtime]

Rang DH at 5.15 and he said he was going for a drink and would be home soon.
Then he rang and said he had a couple so would get a taxi and be back for dinner by 7pm.

7.20pm phone rings while I am upstairs getting DS and DD ready for bed.
They are both playing up and jumping all over the bed and running off.
So am not in the best frame of mind.

DH had left a message saying there was a big problem and the taxi he arranged has not turned up.

So I ring him ,conversation goes like this-

Me-Hello,what has happened with the taxi?

DH-Oh it's all gone horribly wrong and can't get out of this place.
John can vouch for that.

John in the background-yes ,that is true

{bearing in mind he is a village pub about a 15 min drive from home}

Me-what do you mean you can't get out of there?
You are'nt in Siberia

DH-No I am not in Siberia,I may well as be

Que laughing in background from pub and John saying
"oh at least she has a sense of humour"

DH- don't know how long I will be ,put the dinner in the dog and see you later,night night.

God I hate that pub background banter.
So DH is sitting there having a laugh and showing off that he wears the trousers and I am stuckhere referring the childen yet again.

Only his 3rd taxi home this week,improvment on last weeks 4.

things have gone from bad to worse:
here

please if you're awake help out.

i should be going to bed was just up becuase my sister is stuck in the path of a hurricane at the moment.

closingtime - this has gone too far

your sister will be there to support you, that is what sisters are for. If she were in this position wouldn't you rather she came to you?

And don't worry about the neighbours, they don't matter.

CT - how are you this morning?
I think you need to be careful about him seeing this thread and the other one btw - if he is so unpredictable he might fly off the handle.

But don't stop talking to us.

Morning.
Thanks everyone for your support last night,feeling numb and tired this morning.

Well H surfaced at around 9.30 and came down ,said nothing and had a drink and then went back up to bed.

The DC had been up since 8 and were full of beans and DS started playing up after H went back to bed.
So went up and told H to get up .

Cue some moaning from H about not getting a lie in and how he is up early everyday in the week.

He then comes down after a shower and gets some breakfast whilst I am loading the dishwasher and leaves his bowl on the side so I sigh and he shouts
"what's your problem"

We were going to go shopping today but told H I was'nt happy with the DC going in the car as he was probably still over the limit.

He then says that's handy for you so you don't have to go out.(this in reference to my past agarophobia}

So has turned it around that it is my fault and not his fault for drinking too much last night.

He went to pick up the car and has just got back in a foul mood.

Hmm sorry he isn't being much better today. I guess he knows he has done wrong.
My dad used to tell me mum she was neurotic and that a doctor had said so (which I really really doubt). He used to turn everything round so that it was her fault.
I remember he'd be drunk and chopping food in the kitchen for dinner (he used to do all the cooking so wasn't a complete disaster around the house!) He'd cut his finger (not surprising really) sometimes and then yell at her that it was because she was talking to him too much when clearly it was because he was pissed as a newt.

The thing I want to get across here is this is what people with drink problems do - they try and make out it is your fault. It is NOT your fault. PLEASE don't start thinking that all this criticism he spouts is true.

How are things now ct?

Hope things didn't get worse today.

closingtime i feel bad that i wasn't around last night. ex pat its great that you were there. hope your sister is ok.
i don't k now what to say closingtime i know that you deserve more..i know your kids deserve more and i also know what a huge huge thing it is for you to be honest, unravel, leave , keep being a mum, deal with his apologies (because he will and the cycle will start again).

i wish that the answer were simple..i just know simple things like...when i have been at my absolute lowest i cannot imagine the future but if you get out you WILL look back in 10 years and think "what took me so long ". this is not in any way patronising and i don't have a crystal ball...just experience.

when i read your mail from last night i so clearly remembered being in a relationship with an alcoholic. he never hit me either but the barging past you and slamming door is just as abusive.the IGNORING YOU AS YOU CRY YOUR EYES OUT...

i send you as much strength as i can. i actually think you are a phenomenal woman.
please let us know that you are ok.

i also agree with other posts..just tell everyone the reality. bugger english politeness. tell it how it is.

you are very very brave.

crying like a baby through fear of the one person in the world who should keep you and your kids safe in not ok.

please please get some support..ring al anon.
the journey starts here...it cannot be any worse than what is happening now can it ?

with love

Closing time - are you there? How are you now?

Hi,sorry not been back to the thread.

We had a quite weekend and DH stayed in all weekend.

I had a chat woth him on sunday and told him about his behaviour on friday night.
At first he did'nt want to listen but I approached again later in the day and he was very remorseful as usual and said it would never happen again.
I told him I had heard it all before but made sure he realised that this time I actually had thoughts of ringing the police ,something I had not thought before.

I hoped this shocked him ,he did'nt really say too much.
He obviously could'nt remember a thing which I told him in itself is worrying and surely he should be concerned .

Tonight he rang at 5.15 and said he would be half an hour and by 6.30 he still was'nt home and his phone was turned off.
So I started thinking the worse as I normally do and it turned out his boss wanted a meeting with him.
He came back at 7.00 and had not been to the pub.

But I am not thinking this is the big turnaround as I know it's not as simple as that and I have been here before.

So for know t am tryimg to just concentrate on me and the children and will try not to get worked up about his behaviour and see how it goes.

closingtime i am relieved that you are ok.
well done for talking to him.
i don't know what to say...i hope that there is a change ? i hope for you that he 'gets it' and doesn't put you through that again.

it must be so hard to be in it and trying to bring up kids too but the places for support are still there.
stay strong and i hope that the Dc are ok .