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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When I see smokers with babies, I really want to yell at them...

303 replies

Sophrosyne1 · 05/09/2008 18:26

Given the fact that smoking can increase the chance of cot death, breathing problems, glue ear and a whole host of other nasties (not to mention cancer) why is it that every time I go into town or for a walk in my local area I see 'parents' who think it is OK to smoke all over their children? It makes me want to yell very loudly!!!

OP posts:
wahwah · 07/09/2008 17:54

Agree with all the anti-smoking comments, but smokers are just more interesting to talk to than non-smokers? Sadly will have to encourage my kids to hang out with some just to get a bit of stimulation.

findtheriver · 07/09/2008 17:57

Nah, you only have to look at the groups of smoker puffing away outside doorways to see that they have nothing interesting to say

wahwah · 07/09/2008 17:59

Oh come on, when you go to a conference or training event, don't you secretly want to hang out with the risk taking, naughty girls and boys?

findtheriver · 07/09/2008 18:01

ooh yes definitely! But on the conferences I go to they definitely aren't the smokers! Smoking is just soooooooo dull!

Remotew · 07/09/2008 18:01

Oh Dunno, I've often had more fun and interesting interactions outside the pub with fellow smokers.

scaredoflove · 07/09/2008 18:05

I have never smoked but I don't get people who are saying the kids are in danger in the open air? I don't see how

If someone only smokes outside (I have friends that do this) where is the risk for the children? My parents smoked, none of us kids do, it was an anti smoking device for us. Some kids will, some won't

Doesn't bother me in the slightest seeing people smoke outside

TinkerBellesMum · 07/09/2008 18:09

It's hard when you've done everything "right" and still can't carry babies to see people smoking and drinking in pregnancy and then smoking around their baby. Sad thing is a lot of the people I have met who have been through similar things to me have also tried to do everything right. Not fair, is it?

findtheriver · 07/09/2008 18:10

Less danger I guess, scaredoflove, but when you see parents (usually young mums I have to say) smoking over the pram they're pushing then it's a bit gross isnt it? I mean, if nothing else, it's going to be on the mum's clothes, pram fabric etc and yes, there IS evidence that even small scale exposure is harmful.
I think the biggest issue though is that children of parents who smoke ARE statistically more likely to take up the habit themselves.

combustiblelemon · 07/09/2008 18:12

In teenagers smoking might be 'naughty'. In adults it's just a grubby addiction. I stops being a rebellion when you know that if you locked them in a room, a few hours after the cigarettes ran out half of them would be scrabbling through the ashtray looking for a fag end to smoke.

findtheriver · 07/09/2008 18:14

No Tink it isn't. I think I've seen you before on the premmie thread haven't I? I also had a prem baby, and was shocked that the baby in the incubator next to, weighing under two pounds, had been born to a mother who smoked heavily throughout pregnancy. She used to nip out for fags from the SCBU, and she admitted to me that her addiction was so strong that she just couldnt stop. And then there was another baby born who was heroin addicted...... absolutely heartbreaking stuff. I just remember feeling so bad about my dd, despite being a non smoker, not having had alcohol through pregnancy etc, I don't know how I would have lived with the knowledge that I'd knowingly put my baby at risk.

wahwah · 07/09/2008 18:14

Burn them! Burn them! Thou shalt not suffer a smoker to live!

wahwah · 07/09/2008 18:16

Oops-inadvertently posted at a sensitive moment, sorry.

niceglasses · 07/09/2008 18:17

Smoking 'over' young children is just bad mannered and ill thought.

Smoking outside is fine I would have thought as long as its not directly 'at' someone. For gawds sake, you have to smoke somewhere.

No, I'm not a smoker, but I don't think its 'wrong' in any moral sense, although not good for you, like lots of other things (some of which I do)

combustiblelemon · 07/09/2008 18:22

I'm not anti-smokers- I smoked for long enough myself- I just accept that it is an addiction for a lot of people. I loved some cigarettes, but it was cravings that had me standing outside in the freezing cold. That tight panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach when I knew I had two cigarettes left until I went out in the morning, that only increased when I'd smoked the first one and was supposed to be going to bed was pure addiction. The social smoking was great, but I couldn't just do that.

wahwah · 07/09/2008 18:26

I loved smoking the whole (long) time I did it, gave up when pregnant and it wasn't easy. However, in the grand scheme of damaging behaviours I just cannot get worked up about people smoking outside in front of their children. Smacks of a witch hunt to me.

wotulookinat · 07/09/2008 18:39

I'm an ex-smoker and I have to say I agree with the OP. The sooner it gets banned all together, the better.

findtheriver · 07/09/2008 18:40

I don't see smoking as a moral issue in itself, and tbh I dont know anyone who does. I think combustiblelemon sums it up well - when you are a teenager you think you're being all rebellious having a sneaky puff - we've all been there, done that. And at some social gatherings, among adults, I can't see that going off for a fag outside is a problem. But it IS a problem when it becomes the grubby addiction that combustible describes - ie parents smoking while out with their kids; for gods sake I even saw parents smoking on the beach this summer (yeap, on the rare sunny day!). No way can you tell me that's 'exciting' or 'edgy' or 'rebellious' - it's just a sad, smelly waste of money.

expatinscotland · 07/09/2008 18:42

I'm an ex-smoker and I have to say I agree with the OP. The sooner it gets banned all together, the better.

Yeah, then let's ban booze - I'm sick of putting up with other peoples' drunken behaviour and their health problems are starting to cost the NHS a lot of money, and junk food - I'm sick of spending money on tickets for seats only to have someone else lop into half of mine and fat peoples' health problems cost teh NHS a lot of money.

findtheriver · 07/09/2008 18:46

nah - keep the booze. Need my gin and tonic. Drunken behaviour is a different matter though - that's ugly and boring. But I am oh so civilised with my G and T

wotulookinat · 07/09/2008 18:50

Expat, if I drink, I'm not directly damaging someone else. (now I'm off to get the popcorn to watch this get out of hand)

expatinscotland · 07/09/2008 18:59

nor do ALL smokers, wot, if they're not around anyone.

by that same today, some drinkers, when they drink, do indeed harm others.

so since some people harm others directly by smoking or drinking, and most definitely harm themselves by it, let's ban it all.

StayFrosty · 07/09/2008 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinkerBellesMum · 07/09/2008 19:06

findtheriver, I'm on pregnancy #4. First was a miscarriage (multiple) second was 20 weeks, my healthy daughter was born alive and, with no help, lived three hours, Tink was born at 31 weeks and now we're gearing up for another premature baby. I hate going to the hospital and seeing the mothers in the shelter smoking. I didn't know of any babies from smokers or addicts (Mum sees crack babies and FAS all the time) but I don't know I could be polite.

wotulookinat · 07/09/2008 19:06

You're right, Expat, but the OP was about smokers doing it right by their kids.

pucca · 07/09/2008 19:10

Yawn @ OP.