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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get really arsey with parents who...

49 replies

ethanchristopher · 04/09/2008 23:38

smoke and swear in childrens playgrounds.

i am not averse to smokers, if you want to suck on cancer sticks thats your choice entirely and smoke where you want.

but yes i realise it is an outdoor space but i dont want my kids exposed to other peoples fumes and ultimately to grow up thinking its normal and acceptable

I DONT WANT TO BURY MY KIDS!!!

also swearing, i dont want my kids spending their school break times and free times sitting on the naughty chair for swearing (despite not knowing what it means or why its bad to say)

Lets face it, kids are parrots, why show them these examples??

Sorry bit of a rant, and remember im only angry at people that do it in the playgrounds, not normally. I mean i am human and do swear occasionally!

OP posts:
chapstickchick · 04/09/2008 23:40

bit ott i think.....

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 04/09/2008 23:43

sorry. its just that ds came home today after going to the park (and i dad stood by the swings smoking NEXT TO HIM not even on the bench by the payground) and said "fucking hell" i was like WHAT????

turns out that one of the mothers had got arsey that her kid wanted to stay at the playground (like every kid does!!!) and decided to swear at her dc infront of mine!!

OP posts:
harpomarx · 04/09/2008 23:44

what the I DONT WANT TO BURY MY KIDS!!! bit, chapstick?

You must live in a very sanitised area ethanchristopher if the only place you have to worry about your kids seeing smoking and swearing is at the playground.

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 04/09/2008 23:47

i do realise im over-reacting. i really really do

im just pissed off that people do it around kids

OP posts:
chapstickchick · 04/09/2008 23:47

harpo....i totally agree..........

TinkerBellesMum · 04/09/2008 23:48

I know the feeling, especially as that is my brother and his partner. They swear all the time and at the kids then belt them and have even put washing up liquid in their mouth when they swear! When they're first starting to talk they find it funny to tell them to say swear words!

Every time I pass someone in the street smoking I think of the line from "Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased)" "I don't want to have a mutant baby"! Not that I'm as paranoid as their assistant, but it still comes back to amuse me sometimes.

TheHedgeWitch · 04/09/2008 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 04/09/2008 23:50

but sometimes it just needs to be said again. for my own personal "get it off my chest" benefit

and thanks tinkerbelle. i needed an YANBU messgae, just to stop me from going insane

someone needs to buy me some pmt pills

and please do not anybody sugegst that fags are stress relieves

OP posts:
primigravida · 05/09/2008 00:12

YANBU - I was thinking about starting a similar thread after I went to the park yesterday and was enjoying the sunshine with my ds crawling around on the grass when I started to smell that disgusting smell of cigarette smoke. So I picked up my pfb and took him over to the swings and a minute later there the same person smoking near us while watching her kids on the playground. I know that people are supposed to be allowed to smoke outside, but at a playground when there are so many small children with delicate little lungs running around. In the end, I gave up trying to find somewhere where I couldn't smell the cigarette smoke and took ds home. I suppose I do live in quite a sanitised area in that the only places I see smoking are at the bus stop and playground but I have friends who smoke and they would never smoke around children. My FIL who is a smoker was most considerate about this when he stayed with us and would go outside on cold winter's nights so as not to harm his little grandson. Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a rant.

solidgoldbrass · 05/09/2008 00:38

WHile you might not like the smell, the occasional passing waft of tobacco smoke in the open air will not give your DC cancer. Just a little bit of perspective wanted?

lilysmummy2007 · 05/09/2008 03:54

ok, not nit picking but the amount of smoke in cigarettes is the same as in exhaust fumes and atmospheric polution, so will you stop walking on the road or demand everyone stop driving for fear of having to bury your kids. And someone will have to bury them someday, i think what you were aiming at is you dont want to bury them NOW . the swearing YANBU as i hate to hear people swearing around kids not just in the playground, anywhere is bad. Have a nice warm bath for stress relief, and a glass of red would not go amiss.

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 05/09/2008 07:47

its not so much the fumes that pissed me off as i am not OCD and i do realise that it would not do them a great deal of half.

my issue is that they will grow up watching people smoking around kids and thinking its acceptable and normal

OP posts:
izzybiz · 05/09/2008 07:54

It's not so much the fumes that annoy me when out side either.

Its the fact that people will just throw lit butts on the ground, when in our local park there are always children running about barefoot as it has a sandpit, also babies crawling on the grass etc.

Just plain thoughtless IMO.

niceglasses · 05/09/2008 07:55

Sorry think if they are doing it outside and not blowing it directly in your childs face, no problem.

Really I think the whole issue has gone far to far. Its not MORALLY WRONG to smoke. It may not be good for you, but neither is too much time on a PC.

KVC · 05/09/2008 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ronaldinhio · 05/09/2008 08:11

God, how much do you have to smoke to die from nicotine poisoning?

CapricaSix · 05/09/2008 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameCastafiore · 05/09/2008 08:25

Swearing is wrong in front of children and you have every right to ask someone not to do it - but you are in the position when your child repeats something to explain to them that this is not appropriate behaviour and they are not to sat those words.

Smoking around kids is wrong too but again you have to be the one to instill rules and tell your children that smoking is bad for you and they shouldn't take it up when they get older.

I actually think drinking is worse infront of children as it is seen as sociably acceptable and as DH says - no one ever went home after a 20 Marlboro light binge and beat their wife (last paragraph true but tongue in cheek!)

Milkysallgone · 05/09/2008 08:30

While I do completely agree that smoking is disgusting and I hate it when someone comes near me or my dcs outside when they are smoking - ditto the foul language; rationally speaking you are the biggest and most important influence in your ds's life, and IMO you are his role model at the moment so no amount of smoking or swearing by a random stranger in a park is enough to influence his behaviour.

KVC · 05/09/2008 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ronaldinhio · 05/09/2008 08:40

Sorry I was selfishly worried about my "hidden" smoking whilst pissed with old girlfriends....none of us smoke at all in everyday life but always end up having a smoking binge when together and out...sadly about 4 times a year now
Does it make us cool?
We swear as well sometimes....

VinegarTits · 05/09/2008 08:57

There are a lot of things in life that are not right that we dont want out dc exposed to, we want to protect them its only natural, but unfortunately some things are out of our control, you cant stop people swearing or smoking or taking drugs/drink driving/violence etc etc, this is why we teach our dc what is right and what is wrong.

My dc dont swear because they are perfect they know its wrong, they will never smoke because they know its very bad for their health, i cant stop them being exposed to these things though, only teach them some morals and to be strong minded individuals who will make the right choices in life, its all you can do im afraid, so chill about the potty mouths in the playground, just move your dc away from them.

TinkerBellesMum · 05/09/2008 09:06

People saying about being around one cigarette isn't going to do anything. My daughter is very asthmatic (damage from being intubated) and a cigarette does set her off and she will be bad for a week. It really doesn't take a lot for her asthma to start playing up.

But the smoke isn't the problem - it's the rubbish and the message, plus I feel for their kids (when we're talking about playgrounds).

Original poster
ethanchristopher · 05/09/2008 09:21

vingegartits:

ds is almost 2 and just repeats everything, he is not yet at the age where he can distinguish between right and wrong for himself e.t.c so how can i explain to him that some words are wrong and some are okay when he doesnt even get sharing?

also your kids must be perfect angels if you believe they will never try a ciggarette or even think about it

my issue is not with smoking, smoke all you want w/e just dont do it at the playground

and interesting points about the butts on the floor, i hadnt even thought about that!!

although i do admit i had come across as unreasonable on my stressy post. i was just angry

OP posts:
Jux · 05/09/2008 09:44

Swearing I'll go along with you on that one.

Smoking I won't. Your kids are inhaling as much, or worse, just walking down the road, from cars. And presumably there's a road near the park too. They're only in fresh air if they go to a small island in the middle of the Pacific by rowing boat.

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