In not wanting to go and stay with my parents?

[pudding25]

My parents live in another part of the UK. DD is 16 wks old. They have been here a couple of times (stay in an hotel or with friends as we dont have room for them).
They want us to come up and stay with them.
We don't want to.
They have a tiny flat. It is dirty and damp (although they don't see this and think it is great).
Last time we stayed when I was pregnant, the room was damp, there was dust everywhere (dh has dust allergy) and it was only one night but was not pleasant.
The spare room is tiny but could probably squeeze in a travel cot but it is horrible.

I know we have to go but I so don't want to. They even said they would pay for flights. Are we going to have to grin and bare it for 2 nights? What do we do about DH's dust allergy and the damp - everything smelt in the bedroom and the duvet stunk. It makes me so sad but thet just dont see it and if I even dare mention anything, they tell me I am talking nonsense.
I have been saying that I want to wait until dd's sleeping gets a bit better as I won't be able to handle it otherwise and it will be too stressful but they keep mentioning it.
I am dreading it and I feel awful but I just dont want to go.

Might be clutching at straws here but is there any way you could go and make a weekend of it in a nice hotel near their house?

hey,

You could go and see them for the day and then stay at a nice hotel and spend the next day out doing something fun at their end, with or without them. Would be a good day out.

My pil house has no central heating, they havent had any for over a year when their boiler broke. it is freezing and the walls are so cold they feel wet/icey. I don't stay there for that reason.

You could make it like a wee break for yourselves sinse it is quite a bit away.

Well, that sounds great in theory but I have kind of mentioned that it is awfully small for us and dd and they have been all insulted saying that so and so next door has had 2 grandchildren to stay at one time etc etc. They would be mega insulted if we did that. They would also think that everyone was talking about how their dd wouldnt stay with them. They are very much about what other people think too. They live in a very nice area but live in a tiny place as they would rather live in that area than a bigger place somewhere else.

Oh, I am getting stressed thinking about it...