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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my MIL should know my name?

38 replies

sherbetdipdab · 02/09/2008 21:20

and that she shouldn't constantly call me by DH's ex-wife's name?

It really upsets me, but maybe I'm over sensitive?

OP posts:
JacobsPrincess · 02/09/2008 21:22

YANBU

but then my Grandmother calls me Holly, which is the name of my aunt's DEAD boxer dog...

(and my name isn't Holly btw)

greenandpleasant · 02/09/2008 21:28

first sign of senility .... suggest you raise your concern about mil's failing mental faculties with fil and see if she keeps doing it!

RustyBear · 02/09/2008 21:31

My MIL has called me Jill for 30 years now.
It's the name of her best friend.

Icanseethesea · 02/09/2008 21:31

YANBU

but my fil still calls me dh's ex fiancee's name, they split up 3 years before we got married 14 years ago!!

RubyRioja · 02/09/2008 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sherbetdipdab · 02/09/2008 21:32

I burst into tears about it on Saturday, (in my defence I had a baby last monday) and DH went downstairs and spoke to her about it and she just told him that I'm being oversensitive about it. Its really bloody annoying though

I feel like a brood mare, only here to pop out babies like bubbles.

OP posts:
LazyLinePainterJane · 02/09/2008 21:37

Well, unless she has dementia issues, her saying you are being oversensitive and not being sorry suggests to me she is doing it on purpose.

I second the smelly granny idea.

Original poster
sherbetdipdab · 02/09/2008 21:40

No dementia issues, she is as sharp as a tack

OP posts:
suwoo · 02/09/2008 21:40

I thought it was bad that my MIL spelled my name wrong after 10 years!

Tortington · 02/09/2008 21:41

she wouldn't be welcome in my house

nasty snidy bitch

MsHighwater · 02/09/2008 21:41

The only appropriate reaction for a MIL to have on being caught calling her DIL by her ex-DIL's name is acute embarrassment, imo.

Mind you, my dh used to call me by his ex's name quite a lot. He hasn't done it for ages now, though.

Are there other issues with your MIL?

WilfSell · 02/09/2008 21:41

Call her Bob until she relents.

Or Wilf

Tortington · 02/09/2008 21:41

kids wouldnt call her granny either - she would be refered to as Jill

whatever her name is - call her Jill

NoMoreOlympics · 02/09/2008 21:42

my FIL relentlessly calls me by the name of their dog

to be fair, the initial is the same

Original poster
sherbetdipdab · 02/09/2008 21:48

To be honest she is German and doesn't speak English well, but well enough and after 2 grandchildren she should know my name at least.

But on Friday (I was 4 days post birth) she walked into my house and said 'Hello X-wife!' and then said 'doesn't the baby look like ex-wife' and it continued all weekend.

It makes me feel like I'm not good enough somehow, knowing someones name is the least you can do I think?

OP posts:
LazyLinePainterJane · 02/09/2008 21:55

For some reason I have this image of Lois' mother from Malcolm In The Middle in my head!

Maybe you should call her Ida

She was a rude witch as well

TheNaughtiestGirlIsaMonitor · 02/09/2008 21:57

Wow. That's insane! AFter two children!! It's like your husband switched wives late one evening under the cloak of darkness and nobody told her.

poppy34 · 02/09/2008 21:57

painful old bag.. probably doing it for a rise.

like the idea of smelly granny.. or wrong name.

greenandpleasant · 02/09/2008 21:58

she is a bitch! totally unnecessary to refer to ex-wife at any time and even more so at this point. saying the baby looks like her - even if she does mean you - is not on.

congratulations by the way!

Jaamy · 02/09/2008 21:59

LOL @ Smelly Granny!

Is there someone that she really doesn't like? Did perhaps your FIL have a previous wife/girlfriend. Call her by a name that you know will really annoy her and see how she likes it.

NorkyButNice · 02/09/2008 22:01

She is being downright rude!

My parents next door neighbour used to call my Dad Fred because his African name is "too complicated".

My Dad used to laugh it off but it really pissed me off so I always called him something different each time he spoke to me.

I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but he really was a w4nker.

Carmenere · 02/09/2008 22:04

Stand up to her. Say 'hey mil, I would be obliged that seeing as I have married your son and delivered two of your grandchildren, if you would make the effort not to call me by the name of my husbands ex-wife as I find it terribly offensive'.
That is straight to the point and not rude.
Really and truly it is my experience that nasty old bags respond well to being stood up to.

Sobernow · 02/09/2008 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenoftheWildThings · 02/09/2008 22:09

Maybe not popular, but was she devastated when your dh split from his xw? My brother in law got divorced last year and I think my mil took it harder than anyone (she felt she failed somehow iyswim). Maybe she just doesn't want his previous failed relationship to reflect on he so has ignored ir? Not sure what I am doing defending ms-in-law, but hey....

Raine3 · 02/09/2008 22:59

Reminds me of an employers elderly father who called me 'girl' all the time ... after about a week I told my employer that it was not the 1940's and to sort it out, turns out he was a bit senile and bad with names, but called me dear after that!

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