to think that my MIL should know my name?

[sherbetdipdab]

and that she shouldn't constantly call me by DH's ex-wife's name?

It really upsets me, but maybe I'm over sensitive?

[mumoverseas]

as she is old and german call her Eva Braun (hitler's totty!) and see how she likes that one!

[Upwind]

My SILs are Mary and Kate. Mary is always Kate-Mary and Kate is invariably Mary-Kate.

Puzzling

[notcitrus]

Depends on whether she's bad with other names, or just yours.
My mum calls me by my dad's or guardian's name half the time.
My MIL calls MrNC by a similar girl's name most of the time, despite having had 41 years to get used to the fact that he's not a girl. Fortunately he's very camp anyway and just finds it amusing.

[Wickedwedgiewoman]

lol cappuccino. My own dm does the same thing. I'm the youngest, have a brother and sister, and she always calls me by their names before my own.

And no, she's not senile..she's just really bad with names. She often cals my dh by my brothers name too.

[ipanemagirl]

yanbu, my friend gets this all the time from her FIL. Last time he did it 3 times in one hour she told him if he did it again she'd leave the do they were at in protest, she was laughing as she said it but he knew she meant it.

I think it's nerves on his part, particularly when both women are present! He's so busy feeling awkward it just comes out...

[snowleopard]

My ex's parents both used to call me by my sister's name (I grew up in the same street as my ex so they knew my sister).

My MIL now cannot even remember her own son's (DP's) name. She often calls him the name of her dog! And the same for DS.

Your MIL probably can't help it, but she should recognise that it upsets you and say sorry. So YANBU!

[Cappuccino]

oh but people do this

YABabitU unless she is generally a cow

my mum's aunt used to start with the name she used most and then work down, in the same order every time

so it would be (for my mother, let's says she is called Pam for the sake of this exercise)

"So I was saying, Polly Mildred Margaret Kathryn Pam"

for me it was "How are you today, Polly Mildred Margaret Kathryn Pam Cappy"

every single time

[ThinWhiteDuchess]

Many congratulations btw

[ThinWhiteDuchess]

What a nasty old bag. She's definitely doing it to get a reaction. My MIL used to call me DH's exW's name, but she always realised her mistake and apologised. She stopped once we got married & had DD.

I agree that she needs to be told directly and assertively to stop doing it.

[Cies]

That's bad. My MIL also can't spell my name, but she does have the excuse of speaking another language.

I'd second the idea of telling her straight out that it upsets you. And get DH to tell her again.

Poor you.

[Weegle]

crikey I thought it was bad enough that my MIL can't spell my name after 8 years. Definitely the sort of woman who needs you to be upfront to her face, and failing that, play her at her own game.

[TwoWindyDays]

always refer to her as Great Granny, when corrected tell her she is being oversensitive. Next time she calls you exW's name smile and say it was your nick name as a child and always makes you feel special warm fuzzy when its used.

[Ronaldinhio]

yanbu
but my entire family get my dd's name wrong and my dh's name wrong

[Raine3]

Reminds me of an employers elderly father who called me 'girl' all the time ... after about a week I told my employer that it was not the 1940's and to sort it out, turns out he was a bit senile and bad with names, but called me dear after that!

[QueenoftheWildThings]

Maybe not popular, but was she devastated when your dh split from his xw? My brother in law got divorced last year and I think my mil took it harder than anyone (she felt she failed somehow iyswim). Maybe she just doesn't want his previous failed relationship to reflect on he so has ignored ir? Not sure what I am doing defending ms-in-law, but hey....

[Carmenere]

Stand up to her. Say 'hey mil, I would be obliged that seeing as I have married your son and delivered two of your grandchildren, if you would make the effort not to call me by the name of my husbands ex-wife as I find it terribly offensive'.
That is straight to the point and not rude.
Really and truly it is my experience that nasty old bags respond well to being stood up to.

[NorkyButNice]

She is being downright rude!

My parents next door neighbour used to call my Dad Fred because his African name is "too complicated".

My Dad used to laugh it off but it really pissed me off so I always called him something different each time he spoke to me.

I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but he really was a w4nker.

[Jaamy]

LOL @ Smelly Granny!

Is there someone that she really doesn't like? Did perhaps your FIL have a previous wife/girlfriend. Call her by a name that you know will really annoy her and see how she likes it.

[greenandpleasant]

she is a bitch! totally unnecessary to refer to ex-wife at any time and even more so at this point. saying the baby looks like her - even if she does mean you - is not on.

congratulations by the way!

[poppy34]

painful old bag.. probably doing it for a rise.

like the idea of smelly granny.. or wrong name.

[TheNaughtiestGirlIsaMonitor]

Wow. That's insane! AFter two children!! It's like your husband switched wives late one evening under the cloak of darkness and nobody told her.

[LazyLinePainterJane]

For some reason I have this image of Lois' mother from Malcolm In The Middle in my head!

Maybe you should call her Ida

She was a rude witch as well

[sherbetdipdab]

To be honest she is German and doesn't speak English well, but well enough and after 2 grandchildren she should know my name at least.

But on Friday (I was 4 days post birth) she walked into my house and said 'Hello X-wife!' and then said 'doesn't the baby look like ex-wife' and it continued all weekend.

It makes me feel like I'm not good enough somehow, knowing someones name is the least you can do I think?

[NoMoreOlympics]

my FIL relentlessly calls me by the name of their dog

to be fair, the initial is the same