To think that my PIL are trying to kill me?

[JuneBugJen]

Can you tell me if IABU about my PIL dogs/cats.

I am totally allergic to animals. By that I mean I have ended up in hospital TWICE because of staying at their house. At one point they had 2 dogs and 1 cat (they got the cat even after my 1st massive asthma attack!) They say they will keep the pets out the back, but strangely they still seem to get all over the house.

This is not too much of a prob at the moment as we live in the same town. But in a year we will be relocating (I dont know where) which means I will need to stay at theirs overnight if they want to see the DCs.
One of their dogs died recently and the other has cancer, soon there will be just the cat (which I will be able to cope with, with just some piriton and ventolin etc)

My MIL was going on about getting ANOTHER dog yesterday. and

I said 'well then we wont be able to come and stay with you' in a jokey voice. But she kept going on about it all day to other people.

For such LOVELY people how can they be such ignorant tossers?
What should I do? They obviously are not going to listen to hints.

PS I love animals, their fur just doesnt love me.

low allergy dogs

lol KC, you just reminded me of my friends dog that got puppies, mix between springer spaniel and giant poodle! (not joking) Fab looking little puppies.

sorry. not constructive.

just quickly saw that...thank you kewcumber!

how to reduce cat allergens Apparently number of cats does make a difference, as does netuering them.

QS poodle/springer mix sounds lovely - is it a Spoodle? I'm not sure the mixes are as hypoallergenic though.

We don't stay anywhere with a cat or dog - as someone said earlier - even if the animal is outside the fur and dander is all over the house. I never book holiday places if they accept animals either due to the residual animal traces.

DH and I would only have to walk in the door to start feeling tight chested and uncomfortable so sympathies. It's hard not to take it personally when people announce they are getting pets, but as this is going to be a once in a blue moon visit there are definitely ways round it.

You will have to stay in a (no pets) B&B or whatever, especially if the DCs are going that way as well. It just isn't worth it otherwise.

I had my first severe asthma attack whilst staying at my mum's house years ago - I am not sure what brought it on - her dog's fur, her cat or dust (mum's place is not the cleanest in the world) - but after that attack I did not stay at Mums.
I stayed in a hotel nearby and visited her for short visits or we met up for meals. At no point would I have thought, let alone suggested to her that she should give up her pets so I could visit and stay there.
She understood - since she had walked in to find me gasping for breath - we were both happy.

can totally understand, my son has a v severe dog allergy.
when my mum had two dogs, one old collie and bulldog thingy, it was really difficult.

my mum was upset, and ripped up her carpets, put down wooden flooring and promised to keep doggies outside in garden while we were there.

I tried giving my mum an hours notice before we visited, so she could wash the floors, take the covers of her sofas, etc.
I gave my son an antihistamine , before we got there.
It still wasnt enough to stop interffering with his breathing.

we stopped going at all during the winter, and stayed in summer for a half hour with my son outside with his cousin playing football.

thankfully both dogs died, they have never replaced them, and now with two younger grandchildren, she never will.

So we are now able to visit my mum, what made things all the worse was the fact that she cant drive, so she couldnt visit us, that and being tied to two dogs!

in day to day life you cant avoid dog dander, high levels in school corridors from childrens coats!
So as my son is always 'fighting' this allergy , close contact just tips him over the edge.
he can go in car that has had a dog in it either. this does cause problems as he gets older and parents share drop offs and pick ups.

so, i am with you, spell things out very clearly to your PIL.

I wonder if the problem is that your IL's do not know how to clean properly.

I do not have asthma, I am allergic to cats, MIL has many cats and I'm okay at her house, we've had a cat and it was generally ok. I once went to a house and they nearly called an ambulance, I couldn't breathe etc etc etc!

I decent vacuum cleaner (miele) - vacuum cleaning thoroughly, proper damp dusting and keeping the animals out of the sitting room & bedroom would make a huge difference I should think. Sadly I think your IL's are completely blind to how serious asthma is and how allergic you are to their pets.

It's like asking someone allergic to nuts just to lick it "you'll be fine" - you just wouldn't do that would you. The amounts of adults who die from asthma attacks is quite a few yearly - it is very serious!!!!

Ask them to get some rex cats (or sphinx!) and a laboodle so you can contiune visiting them.

im sorry if they love animals they cant just get rid cause u r allergic what do u want them 2 do?? sorry is it u or ur child thats allergic?

are you my sister?

actually, you're not, because dsis knows that her dd would die if near too many pets. dsis's ILs STILL keep dogs, don't lock them out the back & don't vacuum before they go round (though that would make little difference). they watch their dgd struggling to breath, getting a rash & having to leave, crying & throwing up. they still think she'll be ok if they just pat her on the arm. some people just don't get it, because they don't react, they can't link the cause & effect, like smokers who say 'well i haven't got cancer'

i think you need to find a compromise & if you are brave enough, sit them down and say that a dog would mean you would NEVER stay with them, but stay near & do short visits. then it's there choice.

dh is allergic, but uncomfortably rather than dangerously so, and we had to steam clean the carpets when we moved in here as previous owners had a dog.

I do feel for you as I get uncomfortable when there are pets around, wheezing and feeling like my throat is closing up. I think all our friends have either a cat or a dog and I end up going there less and less. They are all big animal lovers and I'm pretty sure they think I'm exaggerating or that I don't like pets (which I do, I used ot have cats and dogs, not sure where my allergy came from.)
Having said that you can't stop them from having pets just because you're allergic.

What is it that you want from your PILS june?

Try to think of the best outcome for you. Then think of it from their POV (which clearly you can see). And then see what sort of compromise you could make. If there is no compromise - ie you will only visit without animals there - then maybe the answer is not to go, or to stay in hotel.

YANBU whatsoever. They should consider you and their gcs health b4 their desire to have something fluffy in their house. Balls to staying in a Travelodge - horrid things and totally impratical with dcs.

I don't think either they or you are being unreasonable. They have a right to keep pets, sure, but you have a right to keep breathing. I can't imagine life without a dog, myself, but I do think I'd recognise that possibly killing a family member is a price too far.

Any chance you can all put in for a house rental, and holiday together somewhere in future? Animal free, somewhere nice - winters, they can be surprisingly cheap. If you're miles away, or even abroad, it might be a nice thing to do, anyway. You certainly can't be expected to risk hospitalisation so they can see the family.