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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the entranceway to Tescos is not the BEST place to sit your boy on his potty?

143 replies

fryalot · 30/08/2008 20:57

I mean, couldn't they have taken him to the free public tescos toilet?

Does everyone have to see this poor little lad doing his business on their way to do their shopping?

I don't think IABU, I cannot think of a single reason why this would be okay. Can you enlighten me?

OP posts:
MilaMae · 30/08/2008 23:38

Agree Littledorrit!

And while we'e on the subject I think loos for kids in toy shops should be law or am I the only mother of kids who instantly need a poo in toyshops??????

I hate the smug "no" that you get when you ask if there is a loo they can use. Feel like shouting" well there bloody should be".

Am afraid I used the Tommy Tippee travel potty several times in such a poo/toy shop situation. What else is one supposed to do,let them just deposit it on the floor?????????

QueenyEisGotTheBall · 30/08/2008 23:42

washersaurus i would imagine it isnt exactly comfortable to wear a nappy but is it not more uncomfortable to be so bursting with wee and being frightened of doing one and then wetting yourself in public?? and this is while your parent tries to find an appropriate place to get a potty out or finds a toilet that isnt blocked/covered in wee/poo /filled with druggies waitin to rob you. i know what i would choose. my DD seems mortified when she wets herself and sobs her little heart out and she is very aware of needing a wee. she seems much more confident in public with a pull up on. and we try to only use them when going somewhere where we know it is not appropriate to just get a potty out on the fruit and veg aisle it is just how i do things.
xx ei xx

Washersaurus · 30/08/2008 23:52

I would never get a potty out in a supermarket, cafe etc either, but believe (from experience) that pull-ups don't help children who are potty training - they are devised for the convenience of lazy parents and those who worry too much about what strangers might think if their child uses a potty/has an accident in public

They are also just more unnecessary landfill, which I am more bothered by than seeing someone's son peeing in public.

QueenyEisGotTheBall · 31/08/2008 00:06

oh well i must obviously be a "lazy parent" then by your logic of course!! how rude
using one pull up every so often is not the same as using them exclusively and filling the countries land fills i merely suggested that a child who is quick to wee may be better in a nappy/pull up for their infrequent trips to the supermarket. does that mean im not environmentally efficient as i dont allow my DD to wet herself by putting a pull up on her as a precaution?? me and all the other mothers out there who prefer a dry and happy child to a wet screaming one and also a wet tshirt on me and a frown on my face apologise for inadvertantly filling the landfills with pull ups. btw i do use energy efficient light bulbs and turn all my appliances off by the wall to make up for my land fill indiscretions
xx ei xx

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 00:14

i think there was once a thread on here asking if it was ok to put a child on a potty in an empty aisle in sainsbury's. can't remember what the response was though. i don't think i ever checked back on it. what would all you say?

handlemecarefully · 31/08/2008 00:21

I would say 'no'! don't care if the aisle is empty. In most (I can't say 'all' since I don't have personal experience) supermarkets there are customer toilets. Use them.

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 00:23

I can think of loads - Lidl, Aldi, Costcutter, Co-op, Somerfield, Kwiksave ...

handlemecarefully · 31/08/2008 00:24

Do they not have customer loo's

(I've led a sheltered life )

handlemecarefully · 31/08/2008 00:25

Well obviously if they are WC free, then it's perfectly reasonable for a child to use the potty in the supermarket. Better than a spreading pool of urine

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 00:27

Don't think Netto have them either.

QueenyEisGotTheBall · 31/08/2008 00:28

nappyaddict i wouldnt do this personally as you might have guessed from my earlier posts i think this is pushing it a bit as if it is in an aisle would it not be more of a food hygiene issue? especially as once the child has done his business his mum would pull up his pants and carry on shopping. what about being able to wash yours or his hands afterwards? if it were my DD she drips a bit and i always have to wipe her afterwards whether she has had a go of wiping herself or not. i dont carry antibacterial wipes with me everywhere i go and i am trying to teach my DD good hand hygiene (being from a healthcare background myself). i realise that the supermarket isnt the cleanest place in the world but it still isnt the best place to allow a child to do a wee/poo. i think it would always be more convenient to rush to the toilet which is never that far away in a supermarket (or as i have been slated said earlier if a child cant hold his/her wee then a pull up is possibly the best option
xx ei xx

RedHead81 · 31/08/2008 00:29

IME - when a child (I'm talking recently trained or "in training" toddler) needs a wee - he needs a wee right now! Not in 30secs when mum gets to the toilet, but RIGHT NOOOOWWWWWW! Better than the poor child being embarrassed because they have wet their trousers.

handlemecarefully · 31/08/2008 00:32

That's probably true RedHead - it's entirely possible that I've forgotten what it is like!

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 00:32

Queeny - not all supermarkets have toilets.

hollyandnoah · 31/08/2008 00:45

If a supermarket doesn't have a toilet then it doesnt have a toilet. It doesnt make the isle or front door the toilet. No toilet means no toilets. I'd wait untill in the car or go somewhere close by.

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 00:50

go somewhere close by where though? do you mean the car park? cos a lot of these supermarkets are in villages/small towns which don't have public toilets. or they are just randomly along a main road or dual carriageway with not much else nearby.

hollyandnoah · 31/08/2008 01:08

In the car? in a cafe, public loos?

Dont know tbh, but if the can't hold it in maybe they arn't ready to potty train.

I look after a little girl, my niece, and i cant ever remember her saying she needed a wee and had to go right that second. I look after her every weekday she's 2.8 and has been out of nappies for a year now. She can tell me she needs the toilet - for example! This morning we had just got strapped in the car after her ballet class when she said she needed a wee, but she held it in untill we got home.
But even when she just started i never ever once had to take a potty out the house with me, and i've always managed to get her to the toilet in time before any accidents.
I would never dream of making her pee in public, and i dont think she would let it happen either!!

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 01:22

car would work if you had one but not if you'd got the bus.

you can only use cafe toilets if you buy something usually.

public loos - i wouldn't even use the public loos in my village myself - they are foul and there aren't any in any of the shops. i'm sure it's not only where i live that this is the case.

if you are a single mum, with no one to look after your child whilst you go shopping and no credit card to do internet shopping you really can't just stay in for a fortnight whilst your child potty trains.

in the op's case that was a bit bizarre. there was a discreet alley and tesco's also have customer toilets. i was just pointing out some supermarkets don't have this facility and then what should one do. i would probably say leave your trolley and take your toddler to a discreet part of the car park. don't know if that's socially acceptable or not but would seem the logical thing to do in my mind.

herbietea · 31/08/2008 01:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hollyandnoah · 31/08/2008 01:31

If they cant hold it in untill you find a toilet then they probably shouldn't be potty training.

I'm sure spending 50p on a can of juice to let your dc use the toilet in a cafe wouldnt be that bad really.

And a public toilet is better than outside. wipe the seat before you put them on it. Better using a public loo than peeing yourself.

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 01:37

where lidl is though there are no toilets at all. none in the shops nearby, no cafes - not anywhere. my son's not potty training yet but say if he was and we get on the bus and he says i need a wee. it takes 15 mins to get to lidl. then we'd have to do the shop, queue and pay. say 30 mins minimum. then we'd have to wait for the bus. and then take another 15 mins to get back home. i don't know many potty training toddlers who would be able to wait that long.

hollyandnoah · 31/08/2008 01:41

i have never ever come across a town with no toilets. no pubs no cafes no public toilets, portaloos nothing?

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 01:48

it's not a town. it's just a road with lidl and some other shops at the bottom on either side.

QueenyEisGotTheBall · 31/08/2008 02:15

i agree herbie it is inconsiderate.
nappyaddict if the toddler is able to hang on until you got to lidl then as it has been mentioned it would be perfectly reasonable to take him around the side of the building so he could use the potty as that wouldnt be getting in anyones way/offending anyone. it is when people just choose to sit their child on a potty wherever they are standing without the thought for others that it causes a problem. it just depends entirely on what you see as inappropriate and what your boundaries for decency are i suppose. the way i see it is if i wouldnt sit on a bucket and do a wee in the lidl (even if i am bursting) i wouldnt expect my DD to have to.
xx ei xx

Washersaurus · 31/08/2008 09:35

ei, you keep comparing yourself to your DD with regard to what you would and wouldn't want to do toiletwise. So will you be wearing your plastic pants out to the supermarket next time you are out,as you feel they are fine for your DD to wear?

I don't think the toileting habits of a potty training toddler and an adult are quite the same are they - it is a bit unreasonable (and childish) to try to compare the two.

With regard to the use of pull ups, I did not actually call anyone on this thread lazy, and I am not out to humiliate my children by not putting them in pullups - what a ridiculous idea. Children learn by having accidents and feeling the wetness against their skin, and possibly being upset by it. If they wear pullups they do not experience this.

Pullups are designed to make the manufacturers more money and for the convenience of the parent, not for the benefit of the child. I think the occasional use of them to suit yourself actually sends mixed messages to your child with regard to what is 'decent'. Have the balls to potty train properly (like us potty wielding mums).

That is just my opinion though and how I do things.

xx washer xx