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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the entranceway to Tescos is not the BEST place to sit your boy on his potty?

143 replies

fryalot · 30/08/2008 20:57

I mean, couldn't they have taken him to the free public tescos toilet?

Does everyone have to see this poor little lad doing his business on their way to do their shopping?

I don't think IABU, I cannot think of a single reason why this would be okay. Can you enlighten me?

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 30/08/2008 21:55

bumbo

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow · 30/08/2008 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Washersaurus · 30/08/2008 21:59

I took a potty out for about 2 weeks whilst training DS1 as he was really scared of sitting on the big toilets to begin with and his standing up to wee attempts always resulted in wet clothes and shoes.

I never whipped the potty out in a shop doorway or in a cafe though - except that once when I had to dash out of Lidl with the shopping and DS2 in the buggy as DS1 suddenly started jiggling and whimpering

It is still fairly early days, so we do keep a potty in the back of the car; where DS1 sits on it when he needs it (wees emptied into drains or bushes).

IME potty training is a terribly hard time and this mum was probably embarrassed and fed up with the whole thing, and in need of a smile from someone, not judgey pants waved at her.

adamadamum · 30/08/2008 22:12

My son is mostly ok to hold his wee for a minute, but not poo! He has just turned 4. I can sympathise with the mother. I bet she was embarrassed herself, but felt it was the right thing to do if she didn't think he could get to a toilet or other private area in time.

If I was going into that Tesco at that time, I would have smiled a sympathetic smile, maybe joked about how much fun being a mother is!!

Maybe her son suddenly said "I NEED A POO!" in the middle of the car park, and knowing her son, knew she had to find the first reasonably safe place (i.e. away from cars) for him to go.

I can see this scenario coming to me soon...

What is it they say? Sh*t happens!!!

cat64 · 30/08/2008 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Washersaurus · 30/08/2008 22:31

LOL - so supermarket entrances are hygenic places ey?

...Now, if it had been a Waitrose doorway I would have understood the upset

chipmunkswhereareyou · 30/08/2008 22:32

I didn't realise all those little puddles in the supermarket car park beside cars were actually wee....ooh yuck.

Had to resort to getting ds to pee into a couple of nappy sacks recently- tricky but seems a bit more contained and I worry his aim's going to go wrong and he'll get soaked!

adamadamum · 30/08/2008 22:33

I meant to add that I also agree that a wee in a potty is obviously totally insignificant in comparison to the abominable rape of a woman. Lets hope this evil piece of work gets caught and punished as severely as he deserves to be.

People who see a young child having a wee will soon get over it if they have been at all bothered!

It will take far, far longer for this girl to recover, if ever, from what has been done to her.

I am not very religeous, but have just said a little prayer for her.

Please, all of you, do the same.

Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:33

um... can I just repeat (again) that they were on one side of a wall, which put them inside the entrance to tescos. On the other side of the wall was an alleyway which was perfectly safe, away from cars and mostly free of people. Waaaaaay more discreet and literally four steps away

Fwiw, I didn't tut or say anything to the mother (who seemed remarkably unconcerned, she was chatting to her mate about something completely unrelated to wee) but I have to confess I was and I personally do not think that this was an acceptable place for her to have placed her son. Especially as there were alternatives within spitting distance (literally)

I also don't think it is acceptable for people to leave dirty nappies lying around on the beach after they have left for the day.

Or for grown up people to not shut a cubicle door.

Perhaps I have toilet ishooes

OP posts:
adamadamum · 30/08/2008 22:34

I meant to add that I also agree that a wee in a potty is obviously totally insignificant in comparison to the abominable rape of a woman. Lets hope this evil piece of work gets caught and punished as severely as he deserves to be.

People who see a young child having a wee will soon get over it if they have been at all bothered!

It will take far, far longer for this girl to recover, if ever, from what has been done to her.

I am not very religeous, but have just said a little prayer for her.

Please, all of you, do the same.

Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:35

and yes, adamadamum, you are quite right, it is completely insignificant.

Especially in light of misi's post of earlier on.

OP posts:
adamadamum · 30/08/2008 22:36

Oops sorry - computer playing up, didn't think my message went through, sorry for repeat!

nappyaddict · 30/08/2008 22:39

squonk - but if you need to go for a wee when out with your baby you have to wee with the door open cos you can't fit a buggy inside a cubicle.

ReallyTired · 30/08/2008 22:40

I think that the bad parents are those who have their neurologically typical children in pull ups at the age of four years old.

I agree that its a bit silly to have a child sit at the entrance to Tescos. They are an obstruction.

Still its not biggest crime of the century. Sometimes a child who is learning to use the potty cannot get as far as a bathroom. They need the potty close by. I had my son's potty in the living room during the first week of potty training.

In an ideal world the mother might be better to opt for internet shopping during potty training, but not everyone has a computer.

Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:40

na - I know that, I don't mind that.

It's fully grown up people with no pushchairs, buggies or small people hanging around that just wee on the loo (or poo for all I know, I try not to look ) with the door wide open, and they smile at people as they walk past like this:

And they always choose the nearest cubicle so you have to walk past them

OP posts:
Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:42

I know it's not a big deal.
I know it's trivial.
I know in the long run it doesn't matter.

I just felt like being unreasonable about it.

It's Saturday night and it's the only bloody night I get to have a full on whinge about trivialities!

You're all supposed to just agree with me!

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 30/08/2008 22:43

Squonk, YANBU. Sounds very strange and unecessary in the scenario you describe and call me an old hag but no, my first instinct would not have been to step round a child pissing or shitting in the entranceway yo a shop, and give the mother a lovely smile

MuchLessTiredNow · 30/08/2008 22:44

squonk, I 've no wish to pick a fight as I have enjoyed posts with you before, but I really don't see the issue. I am sure she didin't go out thinking - I am going to let dc wee in the entranceway to tescos, but it happened, well done to her for having a potty with her, and so what if she wasn't embarrassed? well, if that's the worse thing that happened in her day then she is doing well.

Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:44

thank you honoria!

OP posts:
Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:47

MLTN - I'm not trying to pick a fight!

I just think that it would have been better for everyone (her included. In fact, especially her really) if she had put him in the alleyway at the side of the shop.

I am struggling with the concept that so many people think that this is acceptable, tbh. I keep thinking that perhaps I've not explained myself properly, there was a suitable place for a potty literally steps away from where she put it, and people were having to walk around the poor little lad.

I really do know that it is a trivial thing, but does everyone really think it is ok? Would it be ok if it was the doorway to a restaurant? or the doorway to a petrol station? or an organic veg shop?

OP posts:
ReallyTired · 30/08/2008 22:47

My son is six years old and I take him in the ladies toilet at Tescos. The reason is that druggies sometimes hang about the toilets at our Tescos.

You may think a six or seven year old is old, but they are still pretty defenceless if they met someone really nasty.

I am quite relieved that my six year old son does not lock the door. He might trap himself. I take him the cubicle with me, but he insists on his "privacy" when its his turn. I usually stand outside the cubicle when he wees.

Washersaurus · 30/08/2008 22:47

Oh come on, it isn't as if the trolley that you put your food into is sterile or even vaguely clean! I don't understand why people are so bothered about (other people's) young children and their toileting habits. It reminds of the recent thread where everyone was up in arms about the MNer who changed her DC's pullup on a shopping centre bench.

Washersaurus · 30/08/2008 22:49

Squonk - you seem to be forgetting that most doorways are pissed in when the shops/restaurants etc are closed anyway.

Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:49

washersaurus - I'm not even slightly concerned about the hygiene of the shopping trolleys.

I was more bothered about the poor little boy's dignity, and the fact that people were having to dodge around him when THERE WAS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE PLACE LITERALLY STEPS AWAY FROM HER. Always assuming that she didn't want to use the toilet itself WHICH WAS LITERALLY STEPS AWAY FROM HER.

That was all.

OP posts:
Original poster
fryalot · 30/08/2008 22:50

yeah, but then the shops/restaurants are closed and people do not have to step over you having a piss

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