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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a couple of glasses of wine when pregnant??

369 replies

tootidy · 24/08/2008 17:30

I am nearly 10 weeks pregnant and would like to drink a couple of glasses of wine (per week) as I did when i was pregnant with my other children. The current guidelines are not to drink at all which is different to what it used to be.

OP posts:
suey2 · 27/08/2008 18:26

mummyloveslucy there are so many things that affect the foetus. Stress is one. Huge rise in cortisol for the mother = same for baby. Do we lie in a darkened room for 9 months too?
From all i have read, i am more inclined to believe that other things are more risky than moderate drinking. The fact that so much research has been done on the subject and yet no link has been found and that moderate drinking may be beneficial to the foetus, is my summing up of the situation.

The relatively new and untested additives however, provide a much more plausible argument to me for the increase of allergies etc. (together with an oversanitisation of our environment) I chose to avoid these. I also checked a lot of different governments advice before eating different foods. (eg NHS guidelines say no seafood, but the FDA say that prawns and lobster are ok as long as they are hot and freshly cooked). I tried to have the everything in moderation approach, because that made the most sense to me.

Even if a bit of alcohol goes into the foetus, is it damaging? nothing i have read shows that it is. A little bit may well help teach the liver how to process it whilst it is developing, who knows? And there are a lot of goodies in red wine in particular.

solidgoldbrass · 27/08/2008 18:42

Mummyloveslucy: you see, it's this mindset that is the most harmful for women. Because many, many women have no idea that they are PG for the first month or so, never mind all that COMPLETELY POINTLESS GUILT INDUCING RUBBISH about going on a 6-month detox before dropping your knickers to TTC. Many pregnancies are unplanned and the women cheerfully go on tequila binges at 6/7 weeks post conception, and the vast majority of the time, the babies are born healthy.
But all this 'how dare women drink alcohol' stuff is about controlling female behaviour: there have been totally serious suggestions that women OF CHILDBEARING AGE should be forbidden alcohol in case they are pregnant: talk about reducing women utterly to foetus-containers. Not all women want children at all, many women have completed their families years before the menopause and many women are not actually fertile: why are some people so reluctant to let women go about their lives and mind their own business?

mummyloveslucy · 27/08/2008 19:21

I never said "how dare pregnant women drink". She asked if we thought she was being unreasonable and I'm saying yes, well more irrisponsible really. I also said it's up to her.
Surely people can relax without alcohol. Thats what mumsnet is for.

Upwind · 27/08/2008 19:30

mummyloveslucy, if you were only responding to the OP, she said she would like to drink "a couple of glasses of wine a week"

You responded with:

"...You'll only have yourself to blame if your child is born with foetal alcohol syndrome..."

If you had read the thread, or anything else on the subject, you must have known that there is absolutely no grounds to say anything so nasty. There is no evidence that a couple of glasses of wine a week would do the slightest harm, on the contrary they might be beneficial.

What motivated you to respond in that way? I am genuinely interested. Did you think it was obviously a wicked thing to want to do? If so why?

mummyloveslucy · 27/08/2008 20:04

The experts are now recomending that although there is no evidence, they are recomending that women don't drink alcohol at all.
Surely women can go 9 months without a drink. (unless they have a problem).
Common sence told me not to drink alcohol while pregnant.
They recently did experements where they monitored the baby while the mother drank alcohol and it was seen to have an effect. They are researching it at the moment.
Is it really worth the risk ?

expatinscotland · 27/08/2008 20:08

'The experts' admit this recommendation is because of British women's perceived propensity to binge drink. In other words, women can't be trusted to drink in moderation.

Lots of things cross the placenta. Including chemicals in food, stress hormones, environmental pollutants and pain relief used in labour or during csection delivery.

mummyloveslucy · 27/08/2008 20:44

Yes I know, but that's not a reason to think oh sod it then. I'll have a couple of glasses of wine, I'll have the odd fag and have every drug under the sun during pregnancy.
Mothers always do what they believe is best for their children with whatever knowledge they have. I believe this should start the moment you realise you are pregnant.
You can't help external factors, but you don't have to add to them.

expatinscotland · 27/08/2008 20:46

'but that's not a reason to think oh sod it then. '

It isn't? You just alter your behaviour all the time based on other people's spouting complete untruths?

mummyloveslucy · 27/08/2008 20:49

You should do what you feel is BEST for your unborn child. Not yourself.

expatinscotland · 27/08/2008 20:51

'You should do what you feel is BEST for your unborn child. Not yourself. '

And for some people, that means everything in moderation when it comes to food and drink. For others, it means they'd rather have a glass of wine when they're feeling anxious than the tranqs the doctor prescribed.

pinata · 27/08/2008 20:52

almostblue of course people with SN children should not beat themselves up - chances are it wasn't drink. i think that before your baby is born, though, you should try and do your best to minimise any risks. links to problems are not proven, but neither are they disproven

starlight you didn't sterilise your nipples ? i was just using sterilising as an example of the lengths people go to when they can actually hold and see their baby, but somehow don't want to give anything up when the baby is still inside them

fruitstick i was agreeing with you that this isn't a feminist issue, but that women get blamed for all sorts of things

upwind i can't believe it could ever be beneficial. babies can't process sugar or salt properly until they're 1 year old - i'm sure alcohol is far harder on their systems

in any case, i am still surprised that people fight so hard for a few glasses of wine here and there. i personally think the drinking culture in this country is such that it makes it hard to give up, whatever the circumstances, especially if you're working and going out - when i was pg with DD i was regularly shocked at the amount of people who still tried to pressure me into a glass here and ther

almostblue · 27/08/2008 20:57

"almostblue of course people with SN children should not beat themselves up - chances are it wasn't drink."

...unless the mother 'admits to drinking alcohol during pregnancy', of course, in which case we can slap a label of FASD on the child and a lifetime of guilt on the parent...

mummyloveslucy · 27/08/2008 20:58

Well yes fair enough. I'd rather have a glass of wine than tranquelisers too.
You have to make the best choice for your baby.

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/08/2008 21:03

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pinata · 27/08/2008 21:06

almostblue - of course that's not right, but is this really something that happens to a lot of people who have SN children? if it is, that's awful

mummyloveslucy · 27/08/2008 21:07

What are the facts then ??

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/08/2008 21:18

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potatofactory · 27/08/2008 21:18

'What are the facts then?'

And back we go to the start!!!

potatofactory · 27/08/2008 21:21

I would be careful about saying there was any doubt FAS is caused by alcohol, though. (Whoever is challenging that - not you, poster). Such a silly notion, can undermine more sensible ones. In other words, that DOES seem bizarre.

suey2 · 27/08/2008 21:21

wasn't there a huge rammy about this last year? Some American chick who was doing a research project: ithink her name was laoti or something: she also was a pg advisor

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/08/2008 21:22

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almostblue · 27/08/2008 21:23

Pinata - it would do if the [[http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/factsheets/FAS.pdf recommendations of the CDC}} were to be followed (; which is what KVC was advocating earlier in the thread.

almostblue · 27/08/2008 21:24

Those wiggly brackets at the end should be square ones...

StarlightMcKenzie · 27/08/2008 21:26

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pinata · 27/08/2008 21:26

no, i wasn't misinterpreting the comments, unfortunately - most people think drinking a bit past 3 months is fine. even when i thought i was pg (we were ttc, so it was planned) the attitude from friends was to drink until i was certain, especially as it was around my birthday

i personally don't feel patronised by being told not to drink - i see it as perfectly sensible advice about how to give my child the best possible start. it's not your own health you're gambling with, but a tiny unborn baby's

i would never get self righteous on another pregnant woman if i saw them drinking, as i know they have made their own decision. however, in my own head i'd be thinking it would be better if they weren't drinking

as for it being beneficial - this is surely just clutching at straws? how come people want to believe this tenuous, sketchy research whilst dismissing that which says alcohol is bad, although there is lots more of it?

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