to be upset that dh told me i shouldn't be naked in front of ds, 3?

[ruty]

I don't parade around naked in front of my son, aged 3. however, if I've just had a shower and ds is around I don't cover myself up or shoo him away. I've been told this morning, as i came out of the shower and said something to dh who was playing with ds, that I shouldn't let ds see me naked, because he 'read it in the newspaper' that it is damaging. He can't actually remember who it was that said it, some bloke wrote that it damaged him seeing his mother naked, apparently. I am extremely upset, especially as he said it in front of ds. My mother was very uptight about nakedness and i didn't want to be like that. When dh's sister came she tried to prevent ds seeing me expressing milk for baby dd, and dh's father [now deceased sadly] jumped up and ran away when i once tried to breastfeed ds beside him on the couch.

Dh is now angry that I got upset with him. I feel he is trying to force me into a way of thinking that his family has, and that ds will have ishoos with my body now. Who is right please?

[ruty]

LOL Xenia, yes i'll book a nudist holiday immediately.

not a class thing wih dh, family pretty upper middle class, buy may be a cultural thing i suppose. Breastfeeding rates,etc, very low there. I suspect I'm classed as a weirdo for breastfeeding beyond 6 months.

[MatNanPlus]

WHich european country are we googling for newborn female exercises

[ruty]

Macedonia but they have a lot of Russian influences in the medical/physio field. doubt you'll find anything, certainly not in English!

[ruty]

Macedonia but they have a lot of Russian influences in the medical/physio field. doubt you'll find anything, certainly not in English!

[earlyriser]

I think the article your dh is refering to was a Q&A in last week's guardian magazine by a lithuanian humanities director (i'm trying to remember as no longer have the mag article)called Slavoj Zizek. He said the worst experience of his life was 'seeing his mother naked as a toddler- disgusting' I'm paraphrasing here as i can't remember exact word but this is the gist of it. Just some miserable soul's opinion, no fact behind the comment! try Guardian online and show this to your DH!

[ruty]

oh it was him! And he is from dh's neck of the woods. I read that and thought what a miserable s*d.

[ruty]

oh it was him! And he is from dh's neck of the woods. I read that and thought what a miserable s*d.

[ruty]

[solidgoldbrass]

Treat yourself to a couple of the more mental tabloids (do they still print the Daily Sport?) and bombard him with a variety of utterly insane and implausible stories or suggestions - pick and choose the ones that will annoy him the most - and when he says it's not true, smile sweetly and say you read it in the paper. Unless he's a prize thicko he will get the message.

[earlyriser]

here is the link www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/09/slavoj.zizek
ooops got most of the info wrong (post pregnancy memory loss!) but you got the gist!

[earlyriser]

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/09/slavoj.zizek

[solidgoldbrass]

Earlyriser - oh that nutter. Oh FFS he was completely pathetic, by the end of the piece I was just thinking 'why don;t you cut your throat and shut up you waste of oxygen?'
Most of what he was saying is the sort of thing you'd expect from a 14 year old emo boy who'se trying to shock the girl at the next desk into fancying him...

[PrettyCandles]

Your dh and his family have the issues, not you!

In my family my mum is a casual nudist (at home, that is) whereas my dad is a prude. Somehow we manage to respect each other's position, without being traumatised or uncomfortable. Mum and I run around naked, but cover up when dad's around. Dad doesn't make any fuss if he sees me naked, just politely and discretely removes himself or looks away.

There's no need to make a fuss of family nudity at home.

[earlyriser]

I know! what a miserable sod. How depressing to be taught by him!

[Snaf]

Oh god - I read that last week. The guy is an arsehole - a pretentious, self-obsessed tosspot with hilariously screwed-up ishoos around...ummm... almost everything.

Did your dh agree with everything he said in that interview, or was it just the naked bit that chimed with him?! Surely he couldn't take it seriously, could he?

[PrettyCandles]

What a grim bastard.

"What is your earliest memory? My mother naked. Disgusting." How sad and loveless. One of the pleasures of being a mum is that my children love me and touch me and consider me beautiful, despite my acres of fat, flabby, pale, stretchmarked, bruised, allergy-damaged skin.

[ruty]

yes i know, funny how he picked out that be as true, very revealing really

[VictorianSqualor]

I spent the majority of this morning in just a pair of knickers, was on the way to have a bath and detoured, which included making/eating breakfast and preparing dinner.
My children see it as normal so it doesn't bother them.
It probably could make a child be a bit weirded out if they saw someone naked when they weren't used to it but I'd prefer mine to see me and realise that you need to be comfortable with your body tbh.

[OneBoyOneGirl]

Totally agree, i wont be making an effort to cover up in front of my two anytime soon. Dont see anything wrong with it at all, older children maybe, but not 3yo.

[ruty]

i don't think you can avoid your children seeing you naked that's the thing, you can't lock them up while you have a shower, what about swimming, etc. It is how you deal with it - my mum was motally embarrassed, and that definitely affected me.

[Spidermama]

Slavov Zizeck is scarily dark and fuming don't you think? In that link.

'How do you relax?'
'By listening again and again to Wagner'.

Anyone able to relax listening to Wagner will remain an enigma to me.

[Spidermama]

I remember once being embarrassed because my dad walked to the toilet naked when my friend had come to stay. I was about 9 or 10 though and I wouldn't have cared had my friend not been there.

She didn't see him, to my relief.

I feel really sad that so many people are so hung up about nakedness. I take my hat off to that feller who walks around naked then gets arrested, let off and goes straight back out naked again.

[ruty]

agree about Wagner Spidermama - hate his music [so did my mother to her credit]

[SpookyMadMummy]

I have 2 dd's. While we make no particular effort to cover up around them we are not exhibitonists either. I think its a case of judging your Dc on their reaction to you being unclothed.
I really don;t think that seeing you naked is going to cause your child any lasting damage!

[combustiblelemon]

My ILs disappear into the bathroom in the morning in pyjamas + dressing gowns, and emerge showered and fully dressed. I thought this was just because they had a visitor (me!) but DH says they have always done this and he never remembers seeing either of them anything less than fully dressed.

My parents still wander from the bathroom to their bedroom butt naked.