to be upset that dh told me i shouldn't be naked in front of ds, 3?

[ruty]

I don't parade around naked in front of my son, aged 3. however, if I've just had a shower and ds is around I don't cover myself up or shoo him away. I've been told this morning, as i came out of the shower and said something to dh who was playing with ds, that I shouldn't let ds see me naked, because he 'read it in the newspaper' that it is damaging. He can't actually remember who it was that said it, some bloke wrote that it damaged him seeing his mother naked, apparently. I am extremely upset, especially as he said it in front of ds. My mother was very uptight about nakedness and i didn't want to be like that. When dh's sister came she tried to prevent ds seeing me expressing milk for baby dd, and dh's father [now deceased sadly] jumped up and ran away when i once tried to breastfeed ds beside him on the couch.

Dh is now angry that I got upset with him. I feel he is trying to force me into a way of thinking that his family has, and that ds will have ishoos with my body now. Who is right please?

[littleducks]

i would suggest that dh gives the postnatal ward a ring to ask if there was a leaflet (i doubt it) and to ask if he could go in and pick up another copy

[littleducks]

ok have not read entire thread as you have plenty of advice here about nudity issue

as for exercises, i did a baby massage course with dd (pfb you see) which incorporated some 'baby yoga' and there were exercises in there that opened up the pelvis, bringing knees to chest at an angle kind of thing, the theory was more related to helping baby to move freely etc. and not these exercises in particular but the whole lot helped with wind and tiring the baby

i wouldn't say exercising a baby is backward, it probably isnt necessary or essential but it is nice for the baby and did seem to encourage the babies to move, all the babies in the group were crawling early it seemed

but i will admit that ds has not really done much of this as with a two year old i dont have time and he is four and a half months dd could get across the room now by pre crawling wriggling (looked like she was crawling but tummy on floor still) ds stays safely on his baby gym which i must admit is easier!

[ruty]

i do have a feeling there may have been a baby massage leaflet and maybe he thought that was a baby exercise leaflet. Any way I've made it quite clear to him how i feel on both counts, and thanks for encouragement here. Didn't realise how much his upbringing had affected him actually.

[OurHamsterisevil]

My 2 DS's will se me naked until they are no longer comfortable with it. That is how it should be IMO

[pointydog]

ONly read op. I don't think this is a case of who is right. This is a common issue that crops up and it is for you and your dh to talk about this and come up with an agreed solution. Even if you don't follow the same course of action, you must agree on what each of you is going to do.

[halogen]

My daughter is nearly two and sees me and her dad naked every day when we get dressed for the day. She also often likes to come and see me in the bath or my partner in the shower and displays natural curiosity about our bodies (eg she finds it hilarious that I have hair between my legs). I don't think this can possibly be damaging. I'd have thought it would be much more damaging to be around people who feel that normal things like getting dressed must be hidden. YA so NBU in any way. Much better to accept nakedness as natural and normal rather than feeling that one's body must be hidden from other people and is therefore something to be ashamed of!

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

The only leaflet that they give out re exercises are for the mothers not the baby. Some of those exercises I believe can incorporate playing/lifting baby, but, no actual exercises for the baby his/herself. That's just mental really.

You are absolutely right. SHow your DH this thread.

[elmoandella]

ds is 2.5 and dd is 1yo. both see me nakes all time. they wander in and out of bathroom as i get washed and dressed every day. i see them naked, they see me naked.

[thomsc]

My family never had any probs being naked around each other, in fact, when someone was in the bath was probably the best time to have a chat as they couldn't really go anywhere (is that too much info?)

Anyway, my parents raised three sons who despite being skinny, short and bald with big noses and huge ears, have absolutely no body hang-ups. Really.

Nakedness was never a taboo at home, and nor should it be. FGS, we aren't Puritans!

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

When women are pregnant the relaxin hormone loosens their pelvis - never heard of exercises for babies and I'm a m/w.

My dd sees dh naked lots and she's 7. I think they're only too old for parental nudity when they start going "eughhhhhhhh"

[TheProvincialLady]

(By which I mean, as you get out of the shower etc rather...oh I am too stupid today to get my words out properly)

Xenia the upper class people I know are a lot more repressed in just about every way imaginable, whereas the working class ones are less so. They are just people, they come in different kinds.

[TheProvincialLady]

If these baby exercises are so important and he is the only one who knew about them, what does say about him that he did not do something about it earlier and take some responsibility himself?

Regarding the nudity, no need to get into a row about it. He needn't be nude in front of your children if he doesn't want to but I don't see that he can stop you doing it if and when appropriate.

[OneBoyOneGirl]

I must admit i don't ever remember seeing my parents undressed at all either, they do the bathroom change too!

[Spidermama]

LOL at emerging fully dressed. Like Mr Ben in the clothes shop.

[combustiblelemon]

My ILs disappear into the bathroom in the morning in pyjamas + dressing gowns, and emerge showered and fully dressed. I thought this was just because they had a visitor (me!) but DH says they have always done this and he never remembers seeing either of them anything less than fully dressed.

My parents still wander from the bathroom to their bedroom butt naked.

[SpookyMadMummy]

I have 2 dd's. While we make no particular effort to cover up around them we are not exhibitonists either. I think its a case of judging your Dc on their reaction to you being unclothed.
I really don;t think that seeing you naked is going to cause your child any lasting damage!

[ruty]

agree about Wagner Spidermama - hate his music [so did my mother to her credit]

[Spidermama]

I remember once being embarrassed because my dad walked to the toilet naked when my friend had come to stay. I was about 9 or 10 though and I wouldn't have cared had my friend not been there.

She didn't see him, to my relief.

I feel really sad that so many people are so hung up about nakedness. I take my hat off to that feller who walks around naked then gets arrested, let off and goes straight back out naked again.

[Spidermama]

Slavov Zizeck is scarily dark and fuming don't you think? In that link.

'How do you relax?'
'By listening again and again to Wagner'.

Anyone able to relax listening to Wagner will remain an enigma to me.

[ruty]

i don't think you can avoid your children seeing you naked that's the thing, you can't lock them up while you have a shower, what about swimming, etc. It is how you deal with it - my mum was motally embarrassed, and that definitely affected me.

[OneBoyOneGirl]

Totally agree, i wont be making an effort to cover up in front of my two anytime soon. Dont see anything wrong with it at all, older children maybe, but not 3yo.

[VictorianSqualor]

I spent the majority of this morning in just a pair of knickers, was on the way to have a bath and detoured, which included making/eating breakfast and preparing dinner.
My children see it as normal so it doesn't bother them.
It probably could make a child be a bit weirded out if they saw someone naked when they weren't used to it but I'd prefer mine to see me and realise that you need to be comfortable with your body tbh.

[ruty]

yes i know, funny how he picked out that be as true, very revealing really

[PrettyCandles]

What a grim bastard.

"What is your earliest memory? My mother naked. Disgusting." How sad and loveless. One of the pleasures of being a mum is that my children love me and touch me and consider me beautiful, despite my acres of fat, flabby, pale, stretchmarked, bruised, allergy-damaged skin.