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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that people would not bag a seat first and THEN get their food in a busy cafe...

292 replies

paolosgirl · 14/08/2008 22:31

because those of us who reached the head of the queue before your pal who's way at the back of the queue now have to wander aimlessly about holding a tray with food or drink on it that's now getting cold, because we CAN'T GET A BLARDY TABLE because they're all full of people holding seats for their pals in the queue.

ARGHHHHHH....

Actually, IMNBU at all. I'm being perfectly reasonable (and probably a bit of PMT involved here, granted), but does this wind anyone else up, or shall I just go and have a wee lie down?

OP posts:
JT · 16/08/2008 17:08

in any other 'eat out' situation you would get a seat first, because it is self service why does it make a difference?

AbbeyA · 16/08/2008 17:47

I am sorry paolosgirl but there is no way that I am going to order drinks or food unless I have a seat!!
What on earth am I supposed to do with it? It is difficult on my own and in that case I only queue if I am certain to get a seat.
I agreee with JT-I don't see why self service makes a difference. If I am out with my disabled mother and 3 children, the sensible thing is to sit them down! They don't need to be in the queue and they can't hang around aimlessly blocking up the place!

Original poster
paolosgirl · 16/08/2008 19:16

OK - leave out the 'disabled mother and 3 kids' scenario. You are out with your friend - both able bodied. If you bag a seat first, with your friend waaaaaay at the back of the queue - what happens to the people who have just paid for their food?

That's right - they have to "hang about aimlessly blocking up the place" becuase they can't get a seat, because the tables are full of people not eating!

GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

OP posts:
palaver · 16/08/2008 19:23

I must live somewhere that is overrun with coffee shops and self serve restaurants because I can't remember the last time that a) I queued for ages or b) couldn't find an empty table to sit at.

If I am with a group or the family it is logical for the kids/bags/rest of the group to get out of the way and find a table whilst one person gets the food and drink.

I can't say that I've noticed people aimlessly wandering about with trays of hot food either.

Original poster
paolosgirl · 16/08/2008 19:33

Lucky you - come to this town and see what I mean!

Or go to Ikea at the weekend....now that's an experience never to be repeated.

OP posts:
chefswife · 16/08/2008 19:45

a lot of the times i find that people won't sit, for whatever reason, at a table with other people. if two people are sitting at a table of 4 in a cafe, it is perfectly normal to ask them if you can sit and in my experience, it is just fine. the people that burn my ass are those that stand in line and when its time for their order, they hum and haw and stare blindly at the menu board about what to get, holding the line up with people who know exactly what they want.

if you are a large group, particularly with children in tow, it is perfectly reasonable, in my opinion, in getting a seat first. it is far more efficient for both the parents and for other patrons to have children settled in their surroundings.

AbbeyA · 16/08/2008 20:21

If I am out with just a friend we have gone to meet each other and be sociable. One of us will get the seat and one the food. It makes sense. If we both queue up we might not get a seat together. We haven't gone for the food-we have gone for a seat together for the chat. If we don't get the seat we don't want the food!

palaver · 16/08/2008 20:27

hmmm, last time I went to Ikea at the weekend was about 10 years ago, definitely not a weekend venue for me.

JuneBugJen · 16/08/2008 20:38

I never have this problem but then I only dine at The Ivy and Momos. In fact, I so rarely have my dd with me that it would never be a problem anyway.

Oh, hang on. I'm not Kate Moss after all.
Sorry.
Ignore that.

Original poster
paolosgirl · 16/08/2008 20:51

I know, June, I often get Ikea and The Ivy muddled up. It's an easy mistake to make

OP posts:
JuneBugJen · 16/08/2008 20:53

I think you find The Ivy's ball pit tends to be a bit cleaner and has less coke on the balls.

lovecat · 16/08/2008 20:55

lmao JuneBugJen

This is a pet hate of mine, I am ALWAYS on my own with dd and these bloody perfectly-able old ladies (for tis usually they) hog tables and just look at you disdainfully as I struggle along with dd and tray... mutter mutter...

It's selfish queue jumping and if everyone kept to the rules there wouldn't be this issue. It really pisses me off to be referred to as a 'goody goody' for behaving in a civilised manner...

I have actually plonked myself down next to a table-reserver before now, pointing them to the sign if they say anything, because if people are going to be that ignorant inconsiderate then I don't mind if I upset them. Once in a busy m&s I removed some bags that someone had put down to 'reserve' their seat - they came back, looked at me, I looked back, they obviously decided 'don't provoke the twitching madwoman with the scary eyes' because nothing was said...

YANBU!

blueshoes · 16/08/2008 21:45

I was in Costas with an infant ds and buggy. I bagged a seat first because I knew ds was hungry and I only had so much time to buy myself a drink. When I got back to my seat, this mother and daughter combo had sat down at the table. So I asked whether I could join them (cafe was full) and they looked none too pleased when I proceeded to bf ds in front of them.

tori32 · 16/08/2008 21:55

Tis not rude to get a seat first because how the hell do you push a pram and hold a tray steady whilst walking around trying to find a seat The risk being that you, your baby or another member of public will get scoulded when your cup of hot choc slides of your balanced tray Nah nah nah

YABVU!!!!!

tori32 · 16/08/2008 21:57

LOL Blueshoes similar nearly happened to me in M&S today only the said people moved Thats what cafes are there for!

TheSmallClanger · 16/08/2008 22:04

I don't tend to have a problem finding seats. Usually, DD is despatched to find a free seat, but normally, she has a choice of many. (She will inevitably choose the furthest one away, but that's another story.) The situation is the same for everyone else.
If a cafe looks excessively busy, I normally look elsewhere. I don't like having to share tables with people I don't know and neither does DD. It's quite hard to carry on a proper conversation with strangers sitting so close.

bozza · 16/08/2008 22:07

This used to drive me mad when I used to go out on my own with a 3yo and a baby. I couldn't reserve a table. So used to be stuck with tray/pram/toddler and nowhere to sit.

Now if I perceive it is that kind of situation I have a 7yo and a 4yo and no buggy I send them to sit at a table. So maybe I am being hypocritical.

MsHighwater · 16/08/2008 22:14

Well, it's pretty bloomin' obvious why those of us with manners have such a problem getting a seat in self-service cafes, isn't it?

If I'm on my own (as used to be the case more often than not) why should I be expected to leave my personal possessions vulnerable to being stolen just so I can go along with what some people think is "only common-sense".

OF COURSE IT'S QUEUE-JUMPING! I really really hate this "every man for himself" attitude. It's despicable. The question of table "bagging" might be trivial but where does this selfishness stop?

2shoes · 16/08/2008 22:21

ds takes dd in her wheelchair and bags table.

AbbeyA · 16/08/2008 22:22

Waitress service would solve the problem. It is civilised behaviour to know that you can sit down before you have food.
Last week I paid £5 for a train ticket to meet a friend in a town midway between us. We had lunch. What would be the point of us both queueing and then finding that we couldn't have a table together (our sole reason for going)or we had to join other people which would make conversation difficult? Not very nice when we only meet about twice a year and it is a real treat.
It is essential to get a suitable table before purchasing food. If there isn't a table we would need to try somewhere else.
On my own I have to choose somewhere that has a lot of free tables or a short queue. If it looks as if they are going to fill up then I go somewhere else.
I feel so strongly about this that I shall say something next time I am in M&S about their notice instead of just ignoring it!

AbbeyA · 16/08/2008 22:25

MsHighwater-are you suggesting that my friend and I sit on different tables because we have queued and someone has taken the available seats while we were in the queue?
We then have a quick chat outside in the rain before going home!!

JonahTakalua · 16/08/2008 22:30

I had children purely so that I had someone to send to bagsie a table whilst I queue up - doesn't everyone?

Really though, it doesn't bother me.

If it looks like there aren't enough tables, I go somewhere else.

I can't bring myself to conjure up much angst over something that is so unimportant in the scheme of things.

It's just a P&T thread with added teapots of Earl Grey.

mumeeee · 16/08/2008 22:34

I don't bag a seat when I'm on my own but if I'm with someone then one of us finds a table while the other one queues to buy the food and drink. If everyone queues it just makes the queue bigger.

bozza · 16/08/2008 22:34

I remember having a big problem with this when I took baby DD and toddler DS to the local farm. There was nowhere else to go as it was the middle of nowhere and DD needed feeding and it was really difficult. Not sure what I should have done in these circumstances.

MatBackFack · 16/08/2008 22:35

I do this all the time, every man for themeselves I say. To be fair, I only do it when I'm with dc and it actually matters whether I get a table and that it has space for a highchair and a buggy. In fact I normally park the buggy at a table to reserve it and then get in the queue. When trying to feed dc in public I have no shame - whatever makes it less stressful. I think it is out of order for 2 able bodies friends without kids to do it though!