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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that people would not bag a seat first and THEN get their food in a busy cafe...

292 replies

paolosgirl · 14/08/2008 22:31

because those of us who reached the head of the queue before your pal who's way at the back of the queue now have to wander aimlessly about holding a tray with food or drink on it that's now getting cold, because we CAN'T GET A BLARDY TABLE because they're all full of people holding seats for their pals in the queue.

ARGHHHHHH....

Actually, IMNBU at all. I'm being perfectly reasonable (and probably a bit of PMT involved here, granted), but does this wind anyone else up, or shall I just go and have a wee lie down?

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 15/08/2008 11:21

Blimey, 76 posts on this? Has it kicked off? I don't go to cafes where I have to queue for food, I only go to waitress service places. There you go, problem sorted!

warthog · 15/08/2008 11:22

you are totally NBU!!!

i'm 9 months pg, and have a toddler and NOWHERE does anyone offer a seat or any assistance. I believe in waiting in queues and will not bag a table.

it should be one or the other. it's tantamount to booking your lounger by the pool the night before. disgusting.

Upwind · 15/08/2008 11:25

warthog, do you not ASK if people mind you joining them?

Sobernow · 15/08/2008 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottishMummy · 15/08/2008 11:44

sadly not so many waitress service gaffs around

JT · 15/08/2008 11:47

yabu

"have to wander aimlessly about holding a tray with food or drink on it that's now getting cold, because we CAN'T GET A BLARDY TABLE"

and that is why you get the table first

Pinkjenny · 15/08/2008 11:50

I always bag a table first. But then I can be quite rude occasionally.

Every man for himself, in my book. Sorry.

ecoworrier · 15/08/2008 12:33

warthog - your analogy with the sunlounger by the pool is totally false. It's more accurate to compare it with having to pay for a cinema or theatre ticket on the off-chance you MIGHT be able to get a seat.

Why should you pay for a product and service when you don't know you can sit down and enjoy said product and service?

It's not about jumping queues. I for one would never let a friend wait in a cinema queue for me for example, I will queue myself. (I do whole whole families and groups of friends who let one person queue for them). But at least I know that if I get to the front of the queue and am allowed to buy a ticket for that film, there will be a place for me. They don't make me pay up before I know if there is space.

Perhaps the answer is that EVERYONE should have to 'bag' their table, perhaps with little reserved signs, so that you know at a glance what the situation is.

Or, like many of us have said, stick to waitress service - Scottishmummy, luckily there seem to be plenty such places around still, whenever we go on holiday or for a day out, even to a totally unfamiliar place, we always manage to find one! And usually they're much nicer and no more expensive than the yucky high street chains.

Peachy · 15/08/2008 12:39

I bag a table now

because after standing with a tray, 8months pg at the trime, ds1 running round, ds3 trying to help but being glared at by old biddies and ds3 lyng on the floor stimming, I decided I am jot going to be the patsy any more

tbh we only go in cafe's if I need to feed Bas, so then I sit with bys and feed whilst dh gets food

I tried the good way, it didnt work coz I was the only one

Peachy · 15/08/2008 12:42

Oh the trick have found is instead of trying to eat in M&S etc, locate the nearest old folks department store (you know, all clinique in the window and Windsmoor inside )- upstairs it is guatranteed there will be nice little cafe with tables, no queue and a price list half that of where the waiting is

Earthymama · 15/08/2008 13:07

Peachy you made me smile re old folks store, I was gutted when Wildings in Newport closed their cafe.

By the way I'm a seat bagger, I think every-one should get a seat before they get their food, i'd be so irate if I couldn't sit down. If everyone does that surely it's fair and not inconsiderate.

Peachy · 15/08/2008 13:08

Ah but there's a good one in Cwmbran Earthymama

izzybiz · 15/08/2008 13:11

I always bag a seat first too i'm afraid, don't see the point in queueing in a busy place for food and then waiting for a table whilst it gets cold.

Sorry, everyone should bag!

suedonim · 15/08/2008 13:33

I'd only bag a seat in extreme circs, it seems akin to queue-jumping to me. But when I have been wandering around with a tray looking for an empty table I have been known to plonk myself down at a table which has been bagged by someone else. I mean, they don't need it, do they, as they're standing in a queue!

MadameCastafiore · 15/08/2008 13:44

I just send the kids to sit at the table whilst I queue up - I can't be doing with hanging around with bags 2 kids and a tray of food whilst waiting for a table. No one in their right mind would ask DD and DS to move they always look like they would bite your arm off come lunchtime so people tend to steer clear of them!

Habbibu · 15/08/2008 13:54

If you had everyone, including buggies, always queuing, would queues not end up very very very long?

deepinlaundry · 15/08/2008 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbbeyA · 15/08/2008 14:11

It is nothing like bagging a sun lounger at a pool. If you turn up and they are taken you can't have one. In a cafe, by the time you find there is no room you have a tray of drinks and you have paid for it so can't just leave!
Going to a cafe for drink or food is a social occasion for me not a fuel stop!
I don't want to sit next to strangers, I want a pleasant table with the friends or family that I am with; if I can't get the table I am not going to order the refreshments.As Habbibu says, would you want huge queues wth everyone?
I ignore the notices, if staff asked me not to do it I would walk out and go elsewhere!
I am all for rules but not when they are nonsensical!

suedonim · 15/08/2008 14:12

Most people don't have buggies, though. I don't mind if people with buggies bag a seat, though I was always too worried someone would steal my gorgeous dc to do that.

Not queue-jumping but dh and I had a weird visit to our M&S coffee shop recently. Apart from the two of us, everyone else in the cafe must have been over 80yo, all of them female, all with white permed hair and polyester rain jackets and drinking lattes. It was surreal!

Playingthe9monthwait · 15/08/2008 14:18

Wow, I'm glad I don't go into these places more than once in a blue moon! Always get a table before thinking about food. Never occured to me that there would be something wrong with that, it seems perfectly logical. The queue is for food not a table!

If I go into any pub/cafe/resturant I always assess seating first, I will not buy a thing till I know I can sit. So I get a table, get comfy then think about food and drink. This applies whether its weatherspoons for a pint or a country pub for a meal, a little cafe with table service or a self service place, a posh restuarant or a service station "restuarant". Why on earth would I want to queue and then pay for food/drink if I don't know I can get a seat!? If I was alone and couldn't bag a table I simply wouldn't go there unless it was very empty. I have never even realised that in some places you were "supposed" to do it that way, it seems maddness.

If anywhere expected me to buy first I would simply not eat there, its completely unreasonable to queue and then pay for something you might not be able to eat.

DocBunches · 15/08/2008 18:32

I completely agree with playingthe9monthwait and numerous other posters. I didn't realise it was bad form to look for a table before getting in a queue to order food. If I saw a notice in M&S's cafe or anywhere else, asking people NOT to do this, I wouldn't stay there - what's the point?

I would be interested to know what is acceptable in Starbucks, Costa Coffe, etc; because on the odd occasion I've been with my DP, DCs and grandparents, it's usually my DP or my dad who go up to the counter whilst the rest of us get a table - it wouldn't occur to me to do anything else! That seems to be perfectly normal and what everyone else does - I've never had any funny looks or been accused of queue-jumping. It would be far more ridiculous for 6 or us to stand in the queue (as previous posters have already pointed out).

To me, it's commonsense - and, I have never reserved a sunbed in my life!

G2B · 15/08/2008 18:46

Why would you purchase food if you're not going to be able to sit down? Probably best to get a seat first, to ensure you're going to be able to eat what you buy. But people are always going to have different opinions on that 1.

It's not worth getting upset about or angry at if someone does bag a seat first and you're one of those who like to get your dinner first. People just think different ways.

lardybump · 15/08/2008 19:29

I always get a seat first. I am pg and have a dd of 16 months. There is no way I could manage a pushchair and a tray of food and I would not cary a tray of hot food and drinks if I was also carrying dd because it is dangerous as she is always grabbing things. So I put her in a highchair at a table near the front, where I can see her, fold up the pushchair and put under the table out of the way then get our food.....

If there is no table free at the front then I wont eat there..

Original poster
paolosgirl · 16/08/2008 13:40

Have just had ANOTHER episode of this, and have decided that it is queue jumping.

Yesterday, went into Starbucks for a coffee. One person in front of me, and that was all. Fairly busy (small) cafe, but still 3 or 4 tables left. No problem, I thought, will easily get a table.

Very quickly, in the same way that buses always turn up in groups, 4 or 5 other people turn up. NONE with kids - women in pairs and 3's, who then proceed to bag the remaining tables.

Me and the woman in front couldn't get a table - the people behind us get served and sit down first at their bagged tables.

HOW IS THAT NOT QUEUE JUMPING??????

However, judging from the number on here who do it and don't see anything wrong with it, I think I may just have to develop more of a sod you attitude. Eeeeek.

OP posts:
idlingabout · 16/08/2008 14:52

I completely agree with you paolosgirl. I am often on my own and what exactly do you save a table with in that situation? I understand why people with buggies/small children feel justified in saving a table but frankly it is queue jumping if by doing this you are denying a table to someone in the queue before you. The last time a similar situation happened to me I was so fed up that I went to a 'saved' table and sat down whilst informing the 'saver' that their friend had joined the queue after me to which she had no answer .