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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... to be fed up with comments on my sons facial birthmark?

91 replies

missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 14:35

AIBU to get defensive when people pass comment on my sons stork-bite type birthmark? Its between his eyebrows, but TBH i hardly notice it, so i get really annoyed when people feel they have mention it. I get comments like "oh, will he grow out of it?". Is it wrong of me to get totally narked and wish they would shut up?

Theres a pic of my beautiful baby in my profile, so you can see how noticable it is!

OP posts:

etchasketch · 14/08/2008 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinkyBorage · 14/08/2008 19:28

My dd had one, and it used to irritate me that fil would mention it all the time, mainly because I didn't even notice it. it's completely disappeared now. It's very faint, and he's very cute very irritating that people comment though. I sympathise

3andnomore · 14/08/2008 19:29

Greensleeves and Soupkitchen, your little ones are lovely.....

Solo...my dh would like you....he is in love with his motorbike and is trying to get me ride a motorbike....but well...can't imagine myself on a motorbike, I'd rather be riding a horse, lol....

solo · 14/08/2008 19:32

Oooh! marmaduke, you clever thing! I couldn't remember the proper name for them. I think strawberry birthmark is a pretty description though(and I can remember that one). My Dd's one has become smooth now and is becoming more spaced out - it looks like something's been spattered on her arm. I'll be quite sad when it's completely gone.

solo · 14/08/2008 19:35

3andnomore. You should give it a go. I love it, couldn't be without my big beastie! I've been riding bikes for nearly 28 years now it has a huge sense of freedom attached to it. Go on, go on!!! swell the ranks with us girlie bikers!

SoupKitchen · 14/08/2008 19:40

She was 4 weeks then and is now 3 and a half
It is now only noticable to those who know her, and she is very positive about it.

3andnomore · 14/08/2008 19:44

Solo...maybe in a few years when the Kids are all more independent, lol....!
But I still much rather go horseriding, lol!
(Sorry about thread hi-jack, btw....ooops)

Original poster

missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 19:47

Greensleeves & soupkitchen - very adorable kids you have there!

soup - can i ask what happened?

OP posts:

lizandlulu · 14/08/2008 20:51

yes my dd's has gone completely on her forehead. she still has a slight one on the side of her nose.

gingerolivia · 14/08/2008 21:10

Hi
I had large heamangioma on my face - awful bullying/nasty comments growing up (now 32) and pretty unpleasant for my Mum to deal with, my daughter (17 weeks old) has developed some on her right hand/finger/arm and back of neck and sometimes its the first thing people comment on before they get to how cute she is etc! so you are not being unreasonable, I'm a member of the birthmarksupportgroup.org they have loads of useful info if anyone wants to check it out.
When people say whats wrong with her finger I want to retort whats wrong with your manners - have managed to hold back so far.

Slickbird · 14/08/2008 21:21

He's absolutely beautiful!! What a cutie!! I would say 'When will you outgrow you tactlessness?' (Although that last word might not come out well when you're mad.) What about a simple, "Well I think he's beautiful as he is..' Because he is. And that will shut them up.

picklepie555 · 14/08/2008 21:25

MissJennipenni, your little boy is GORGEOUS and the mark really isn't noticable at all. Just ignore people they are being rude and YANBU. My DS was born with large stork bites on his forehead too (exactly same place as your DS) and one dark one just under his left nostril. Most people were too polite to mention anything. It really didn't bother me, I knew they would fade as my DD had some too, although not as prominant. Now he is 18 months and you have to really study those areas to make out the marks that were once there,they are so faint now only I can notice them. I actually like looking at them while I'm cuddling him off to sleep, because they remind me of the tiny little newborn he once was.

Piffle · 14/08/2008 21:31

jenni he is delicious.
do check my profile my ds2s one is visible
your ds's one will fade a fair bit as my ds2s one was really dark in first 6 mths but faded quite a bit
I did not think it had but today checked older photos and it has faded!
if you do check my photos in the bottom one ds2 has a broken nose thats not the stork mark!

Lizzylou · 14/08/2008 21:34

Aww, he's lovely!
My Brother has a port wine stain over one half of his face, he used to get teased/stared at and constantly asked "Mommy why have I got ribena on my face?"
I could barely make out anything on your DS, just ignore any comments, I had them all with the DS's "Ooh, isn't he big/fat etc etc"

Heated · 14/08/2008 21:35

My ds has one, it gradually becoming less obvious, although when he cries it comes back! He's 4. I think when ppl mentioned it, I said dismissively 'it's a stork mark, it fades.' I really am going to have to get round to adding some pictures. Your ds is gorgeous.

My brother also had one and from what I remember had completely gone by about 6 or 7, maybe earlier. In fact he didn't know he'd had one until he met his nephew.

Slickbird · 14/08/2008 21:42

Actually, thinking about it, my DD1 had quite a large stork mark on the back of her neck just at the base of her scull. She's seven now and her hair covered it long ago, but it also disappeared a long time ago. I forgot she used to have it!

Original poster

missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 21:48

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I really am going to make some retort next time, about either their lack of manners or the fact that i think my son is beautiful!

Piffle - how utterly gorgeous is your son! owww, how did he break his nose??

OP posts:

ChukkyPig · 14/08/2008 22:03

I went to uni with a bloke who had a very large dark (port-wine - or is that not PC to call it that?) birthmark on his cheek and forehead.

The first time I met him and the next few times I noticed the birthmark, obviously didn't mention it.

Then, as ever when you get used to someone and they're nice, I stopped noticing it.

And man was he fit - all the girls on the course had a real thing for him. Really really handsome.

Strangers will always notice what is wrong with everyone. We are none of us perfect. Some things are more obvious than others.

But the people who know you, care about you or love you won't notice any of that stuff any more. And that's what's important.

Piffle · 14/08/2008 22:11

thats true i rarely remember ds2 has it until someone mentions it!

Oh Jenni he broke it aged 11 mths by teetering on a boxed skirting board in the loo trying to unravel the loo roll... fell and cracked nosal bridge on boxed skirting...
two panda eyes and a chink in the nose...
he still has a bump now, he is such a bruiser, he is always covered in bummps.

solo · 14/08/2008 22:16

I think most babies are born with the 'stork bite' at the base of the skull. It's caused by pressure during the birthing process. They usually go by the age of two according to my HV. My Ds doesn't have his anymore. He had a red mark on his forehead when he was born because of the forceps, but this went very quickly IIRC.

StarSparkle · 14/08/2008 22:17

I had a massive strawberry birthmark on my forehead (golf ball size) so much so i went to hospitals when i was a bub and had medical students come round in groups and look at meas part of their training... and even when i was a baby people used to stare at me as i am a twin and my sis didn't have one.

I find it intresting that people who have babies/children with such birthmarks are so understanding- only after their babies have had them.

ChukkyPig · 14/08/2008 22:24

Solo I'm not sure my DD had quite a large "strawberry" one at base of her skull and she was CS.

Mabye it's to do with how they lie in the womb? Or something to do with their brains growing and their spinal cord (guessing!). It certainly is very common...

solo · 14/08/2008 22:44

I don't know then Chukky, perhaps it is to do with the lie in the womb. I assumed from what HV told me, that it was caused during VB. Obviously not though!

mm22bys · 14/08/2008 23:03

He's beautiful (not that you need to be told that! ). I wouldn't have noticed it from the pictures you posted.

People are rude. I know it can be really hard, just ignore them.

ChukkyPig · 14/08/2008 23:15

Well I had the same birthmark on the back of the neck as my DD. My mum had a VB and had forgotten about the mark, when she saw DD it reminded her.

Maybe genetic?

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