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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to be fed up with comments on my sons facial birthmark?

91 replies

missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 14:35

AIBU to get defensive when people pass comment on my sons stork-bite type birthmark? Its between his eyebrows, but TBH i hardly notice it, so i get really annoyed when people feel they have mention it. I get comments like "oh, will he grow out of it?". Is it wrong of me to get totally narked and wish they would shut up?

Theres a pic of my beautiful baby in my profile, so you can see how noticable it is!

OP posts:
ninedragons · 14/08/2008 15:33

He is incredibly cute!

My DD has a stork mark on the back of her head and the doctor said it would fade in time.

Thinking before speaking is a dying art, unfortunately.

Original poster
missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 15:39

Another thing that irks me, is when im out with my Gran, and someone looks at the baby, she always has to say "thats a birthmark on his face" before anyone even comments! I know she is probably doing it for some some very thoughtful reason though.

OP posts:
solo · 14/08/2008 15:39

I'd answer with something like 'God, I hope not! that makes him who he is and I know he's mine'. In fact I do say this...My Dd has a strawberry birthmark on her arm. I love it because it's/she's so individual. Unfortunately, it will probably disappear(has started to lessen).
People can be really rude. Ignore their comments if you can't verbally retaliate. Just act as though they haven't actually said anything.

Oh! and he's gorgeous!

Original poster
missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 15:44

Thank you

I do actually like his mark, like you say its him .

OP posts:
Sunshine78 · 14/08/2008 16:04

As others with babies with these marks I had it all the time. Once we had just got of a plane and someone said "err what is that" Also got alot of aren't you going to have it seen to. He is now nearly 5 and it has really faded and I think in the next year it will go.

I did find it upsetting as to me he is the most beautiful boy alive and that was all strangers could see when they looked at him. Never did find a clever reply though to all the comments!

lizandlulu · 14/08/2008 17:39

missjennipenni that is exactly the same as my dd had, same size and everything.

babyignoramus · 14/08/2008 17:51

I would say, 'what mark?', then watch them get more and more frustrated as they try and point out someonthing you pretend not to see. If they can't be polite, the least you can do is make them think they're going mad. Mwahahaha.

Original poster
missjennipenni · 14/08/2008 18:11

nice idea

liz - did you say your DDs had gone?

OP posts:
CuckooChocolateOrange · 14/08/2008 18:24

Both of mine had it MissJennyPenny. My x fil took the liberty of airbrushing it out of a photo for me. How kind! Fwiw, there is almsot no trace of it now.

Janos · 14/08/2008 18:29

Oh YANBU. It is rude..people should keep such opinions to themselves!!

merryandmad · 14/08/2008 18:31

My dd1 is nearly 4 and also has a stork mark on her forehead. It is nearly disappeared.

We also had comments like "will it fade/ don't worry it will fade/has she fallen over?"

TBH now I hardly notice it, she has a fringe and such a loud personality - you hardly notice a mark on her forehead.

Next time if you are feeling up to it say something like- I keep pinching her everytime she cries and leaves such an awful mark!!

Greensleeves · 14/08/2008 18:35

Sympathy jenni - it's very annoying. My ds2's birthmark is on a rather grander scale than yours - it's on my profile when he was about 8 months - I used to get very hurt and frustrated with comments. It's a lot smaller now but I still get the odd remark. It doesn't affect me to anything like the same degree now though - and tbh the chances of him being picked on because of it (my main concern when he was littler) are quite slim, because he's a very sunny and confident child who doesn't see his birthmark as a problem at all.

Your baby is gorgeous

Janos · 14/08/2008 18:40

Saw the pic of your DS, he is gorgeous..makes me feel quite broody again .

mustsleep · 14/08/2008 18:45

yanbu

it;s hardly noticable and even if it was it's none of their business he looks really cheerful and giggly!!

dd had something similar when she was born and its gone now (she's 2) but people usedto ask if she's bumoed her head

ds also has a birth mark (a proper always going to be there brown one) on his chin he's had it since he was born and tbh i don;t notice it anymore,but people generally feel the need to ask me if he has choc round his mouth etc - someone even askd me completely aghast why i hadn't taken him for it removing ..... erm i don;t see the oint when it's not bothering himto put him through unneccessary surgery or whatever!! if he does come to me when he is older cos it's bothering him then we will see what our options are

blackcoffeenosugar · 14/08/2008 18:45

DD has a brown birthmark quite large on her cheek jaw line..
It looks just like a lip prints.. so we call it her angel kiss..

anyone who now points it out.. gets the reply from DD " that's where the angels kissed me before i was born!"

It's something that will be there forever for her so it's important to us that she feels good about it.

3andnomore · 14/08/2008 19:02

missjennipennie, just looked at your profile and your little one is supercute, and like you said, it is hardly noticeable...tbh...I would not have noticed other then I looked at the pic after you said about it, iykwim.

I mean, I can understand it kinda is annoying, but honestly, just think, ignorant soandso, and let it be water of the ducks back.

Maybe I am just a bit hardened to this sort of thing...I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, so, a Birthmark, to me is quite a minor "imperfection" and as for comments...well...I suppose I just got used to those and I am not to bothered about those...because, well, if people are stupid enough to comment then they are clearly not worth worrying about

3andnomore · 14/08/2008 19:05

OH, but I do remeber my telling me, when I was younger (young Teenager), how upset she always became when people were commenting on what was wrong with her daughter...I mean, kinda was rather obvious and in yer face, and my mum had not come to terms with it herself at that time, iykwim....it upset me, because, well...I suppose it felt like she had been embarressed about me, iykwim....

OneLieIn · 14/08/2008 19:05

Simple response, "Will you ever grow out of being so f'ing rude?"

That should sort it.

YANBU

solo · 14/08/2008 19:09

That's really lovely bcns.

Greensleeves, your boys are gorgeous too! my cousin had a birthmark just like your lo's in between her eyebrows. Don't think it's even visible now...she's an adult now.

I've had most comments from children funilly enough and then others try to wipe it off Dd's arm. I guess it's almost funny from kiddies.

SoupKitchen · 14/08/2008 19:09

Your DS is gorgeous, I think people are rude to comment on part of your child, I mean they would never lean in to a pram and say - oh gosh, what a big nose/wonky eyes etc

I had this when I had DD as she had a birth injury, now nearly faded but she sees it now as her and mummys link.

Piccie on profile for today only.

solo · 14/08/2008 19:12

Your profile isn't there SoupKitchen.

SoupKitchen · 14/08/2008 19:18

trying to sort it

bohemianbint · 14/08/2008 19:20

Your baby is beautiful and people are twats. I know this as I had an accident as a child and certain people have made comments about it.

If I try to look at it in a positive light, it helps to distinguish between people who are total crap and not worth bothering with, and those who aren't.

SoupKitchen · 14/08/2008 19:21

Done it sorry it took so long

solo · 14/08/2008 19:23

She's beautiful SK, how old is she there and now?

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