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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be getting fed up of comments about my long/tall baby

37 replies

MammaK · 13/08/2008 23:46

Am a tall mummy, & together with a tall daddy made a long and very very beautiful DD! She is slender but in the top centile for weight & off the scale for height.
Have friends with other babies in the below average centile for weight & people comparing them is really starting to irritate me. It does seem sometimes that even as a baby it is more acceptable to be underweight!
Anyone else feeling something similar or am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:

themildmanneredjanitor · 13/08/2008 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappypillsGalore · 13/08/2008 23:49

youre being oversensityive.
people just say 'stuff' about babies coz theres not much to say really, is there?

it makes sense youre over sensitive and also that other new parents are also braindead - -no-one getting any sleep and no amount of wildchild party animal antics in ones past can really prepare you for how shattered you will be with a nw baby.

your dd sounds lovely, enjoy.

pointydog · 13/08/2008 23:50

I don't think you are being too sensitive. I remember being in a post-natal group with dd1 and there was almost a competition going about whose baby was the littlest, especially re the girl babies.

It's annoying but just let any comments wash over you. There's worse!

saltire · 13/08/2008 23:50

I used to - and still do get this. Ds1 was called a freak once. He is now 10 and wears 13 year old clothes. I'm 6ft, as is DH, and my DBs are 6ft7 and 6ft 4, so he's not going to be short is he.
If they say "oh isn't she tall/big/long" you smile sweetly and say "yes she is, it must be so difficult for you to get clothes to fit your short baby"

KristinaM · 13/08/2008 23:51

of course you are not being too sensitive. she is your precious first born

you just need a few answers that you can wheel out and say with a smile

eg yes isn't she lovely. she is going to be a super model and keep her mum and day in style

or whatever

i think people are usualy just trying to b friend and dont knwo what to say

hollyandnoah · 13/08/2008 23:52

mammak,

I am 5ft10, dad is 6ft4. My ds is really long and slim. He is 7 months and its quite hard finding clothes for him. Trousers look like shorts lol.
EVERYONE says oo how old is he, omg he is huuuuge.
Uhm no, he is just long lol.
I've had comments like -

" he looks really skinny but look at the fat on his legs! He ust just look thin because he is long"

Cheeky buggers! I just say.. Yeh, he's gonna be tall dark and handsom like his da!

KristinaM · 13/08/2008 23:52

LOL at saltire

MintChocAddict · 13/08/2008 23:55

You are NOT being unreasonable. I got the same. "What ARE you feeding him", "he's a big boy" etc. Tell them to br orf!!

Original poster

MammaK · 13/08/2008 23:57

I dont tend to talk about weight at all unless its mentioned but it always seems to be the first thing anyone says after I tell them her age - 'she's big isn't she... how heavy is she?'. Then I tend to point out just how long she is and avoid the she'll be on pork chops soon jokes!

Had a skinfull this week - sorry for ranting - even the HV made a negative comment about her weight & so I made her measure her length. HV then started rambling on about getting more calories into her as there was such a marked difference between length & weight (underweight compared to length).

DD is 5 1/2 months and 6-9 mnth clothes fitting perfectly in length but v.wide, did you have same prob?

OP posts:

ImForeverBlowingBuble · 13/08/2008 23:58

Get this all the time with my 2
It will get worse as people are so bloody rude
Sometimes i want to scream at them "My dd might be tall but my god your child has the biggest chin i have ever seen"

saltire · 14/08/2008 00:00

I get it now, people saying "aren't you tall" I say "Am, I hadn't noticed".
I wouldn't say to someone, aren't you short/fat/ugly would I?

Original poster

MammaK · 14/08/2008 00:01

Laughing sooo loud at ImForeverBlowingBuble it is so hard not to say 'my what a large forhead your little one has' or 'doesn't she look like a russian hamster?' Point is we dont but everyone feels able to comment negatively on weight!

OP posts:

hollyandnoah · 14/08/2008 00:01

I havent had ds measured for a while, but he is 7 month and in 9-12 but they are baggy, and fit nice in length also. I found myself ( ) cutting the feet out of his sleepsuits because the 9-12 was soo baggy but nice in length and t he 6-9 fitted in size but were too short.

KristinaM · 14/08/2008 00:02

ah mammaK, thats your mistake...stop taking your child to the HV. if your baby is ill go to your doctor

no HV in history has EVER told a mother that their baby is the correct weight.

Original poster

MammaK · 14/08/2008 00:02

forehead (whoops) must be my tall fingers not able to hit the keyboard quick enough!

OP posts:

pointydog · 14/08/2008 00:03

lolol @ chin. This is obv based on reality. I mean, no one would just pluck 'chin' out of thin air.

Original poster

MammaK · 14/08/2008 00:04

Thanks KristinaM, you have just reinforced my decision never to put my child through the horror of a public weigh in again (was chatting to DH about it just a few mins ago)

OP posts:

pointydog · 14/08/2008 00:04

Babies don't have chins, do they? olol

Original poster

MammaK · 14/08/2008 00:07

no need for hollyandnoah I have heard of other mums doing this, sounds very clever to me!

OP posts:

HappypillsGalore · 14/08/2008 00:08

maybe i unwittingly deflected all this coz i didnt have the first clue what any of mine weighed or measured or compared to others and centile charts etc. after being discharged by mw's i didnt see the slightest reason to see medical professionals unless one fo them was ill.
thus any 'isnt he...' comments were met with 'is he? dunno really... gorgeous inn'e'

really, dont let inane bolleaux from people get under your skin. i bet 9 times out of 10 its out of their heads the second theyve said it, why would you waste time /energy pondering it? do these peoples op[inons matter to you? do they fuck...

silvahawke · 14/08/2008 00:13

you aren't been oversensitive - the degree of sensitivity you show now will allow you to be aware of future comment your child may face from random strangers, and therefore help her know how to respond positively to these.

My DD is also very long, as are my husband and myself. It's kinda funny how much bigger she is compared with all the other babies in our antinatal group and a lot of comments fly around about how 'big' she is. I remember as a child feeling really self-conscious about my size (I am tall but slim, but as a child always thought I was 'big'). My husband and I are going to make sure that whenever we talk to our daughter about her size that we will always couch it with a positive adjective, ie; her beautiful big hands or her graceful long legs.

MintChocAddict · 14/08/2008 00:19

My 5ft best friend got away with loads at school because she was petite. Apparently I should have known better (because being tall and looking older is somehow equated with a more mature outlook .
Anyhoo, when we started going to see bands and to festivals I could see loads and she couldn't.

TsarChasm · 14/08/2008 00:23

I am tall dh is v tall.

All 3 dc were long babies and are now easily the tallest in their classes. People comment on it, but in a nice way (I think it's meant nicely anyway, or I'll bash 'em!) Who couldn't admire lovely long gazelle legs?

She'll never fade into the background and will stand out. People may think she's older and expect more from her before she's ready, and you will feel protective about that.

But she'll be a beautiful tall poppy in a field of daisies. People comment no matter what. You are being (understanderbly) sensitive and protective. But your dd has a lovely difference. Just say 'Ooh I know... Isn't she lucky?!' (Cos she is!)

Seuss · 14/08/2008 00:55

This is one of those things you can never get right. People always say mine are really small - they aren't at all. Hit all their milestones ok, eat ok, wear almost right size clothing -most of the time. I think Happypils was right - people feel they should comment on something. I guess we should be grateful they aren't saying 'I've heard uni-brows are back in!'.

Janni · 14/08/2008 01:09

Try not to take any comments about your baby personally. People feel duty bound to say SOMETHING. Better than the photographer who said my PFB looked like an alien!! Or the HV who said I was quite obviously overfeeding DS2 when he was a few weeks old and had reflux. He is now a very dainty 8 year old, nothing like the exceeding chubby baby he was!

Really, let it all wash over you.

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