To be shocked that my nanny cant cope with looking after my children full time in the holidays ?

[demandingboss]

Thats it really. We were away for the first 2 weeks.She has had them for 3 weeks and only has this week to go then she has a week off which is costing me a fortune to cover and then she has 3 days one week and 2 days the next and they are back to school.

Told me this am that she cant cope with having them 11 hors a day in the hols its just too exhausting and she spent all weekend in bed feeling poorly with the stress of it all.

She gets paid full time wages all year rund and has lots of perks ( and I maen lots ).

She seemed to be suggesting that they could go to holiday club so she could get on with some studying during the day!!!

I was so gobsmacked I just left and acme to work!

To be honest Im not expecting to get any replies to this as you will I am sure be too shocked to type!

I was a nanny for 17 years and damn good at my job!

There is no way I would have spoken to my employer like she has done!

We used to do loads of stuff!

Swimming
craft
baking
projects
park
picnics
papiermache
theme parks
cinema
fruit farms
making dens

She has no excuse at all and is on good money too and has the perks of the job. She knows she has a 'soft' employer and is playing up to it.

Get Rid Of Her Now

You could have a fab nanny with lots of energy who will really inspire your children and give them the attention they deserve.

Oooh, that's a tricky one db. My work colleague did something similar but with a couple when they were finding things hard. Although the woman was her friend and my colleague didn't know the dh very well, she said that she could see where he was coming from rather than the friend's complaints. I said to her that they must think a lot of her to ask her to sit down with them and talk their problems through with her. I hope the evening goes well and that you're able to provide the listening ear he needs. Not easy, I'm sure.

Wow, I wish I had £1200 a month to spend on whatever I wanted as all the other bills are taken care of!!

Plus only working a few hours in the morning/afternoon and then a couple of full weeks during the summer holidays......I'm in the wrong job!

'I've had parents ring me from the pub and say they stopped off for a drink or two or three [hmmm]
'

My sister was a nanny, she'd get calls saying 'just got tickets for Prague, back in 4 days'! ebven if she had holiday booked (her now Dh lived the other side of the country and they'd do it when he was visiting)- no car either, and a rural location, 3 mile walk with a troddler along rural roads to bus.

Nannying can be a hideous job, or a lovely one depending on the parents- and getting the combination right is key: one Nanny will not necessarily be universally compatible. it's a close relationship.

Speak to ACAS and get the legal low down 9they have a website), but try and save the relationship first: there are worse out there. Sadly. If youa gree that she can study / use laptop for a certain epriod as a break would that help? I'd personally be generous- 11 hours is a long day so an hours lunch and 30 minutes breaks? say she can take as a single session but make sure she si aware kids are still her main concern. Then the rest of the time she has to do X and Y- give her some targets. Weekly library, kids would like to see whatever, but esxpect her to plan them in, make sure she does- we all need targets, basic management, but equally we have a responsibility to do as asked.

If she doesn't then she simply ahsn't earned her wages and does need to go. Perhaps thopugh less money but combined with school club?

Sorry db I meant for my last post to be supportive and I'm not sure that has come across! I don't think communication is my strong point though I do try.

She's hardly on minimum wage if all her food and accomodation are paid for as well as the use of a car (and I assume petrol)...and assumably your broadband connection as well - what exactly does she spend her £1200 on???
Your kids are older and could be fairly easily entertained - cushy number IMO!
Expat I usually agree with you but some horrid judgemental posts from you here ...

You're entitled to your opinion, mac.

I was truly unaware that people could opt to work that many hours AND if you're going to single me out, why not point out that you don't agree with the other posters who expressed similar opinions?

Don't know expat just your posts struck a cord - you seemed so judgemental that the OP worked such long hours - I guess I was also a bit taken back that it was you IYSWIM as I usually am in complete agreement/sympathy with your posts...
In some jobs it really is hard to make it if you don't put the hours in And it does sound as if the OP makes the most of the time she has at home...
I worked full time as a hospital doctor when my DD1 was 4 months to 10 months old - sometimes I didn't see her from the Friday morning to the Monday bedtime It almost broke me
I took a step away and down the career ladder and am now a very happy part time GP with the best of both worlds (some days )...but it a very hard decision to make when you have worked so very hard for something and in some careers it is just not possible....sometimes it is nice to be able to see things from other peoples perspectives!

I made no such accusation about her personally, mac. After all, it's a two-parent family.

She makes her choices in life, fair enough.

I simply stated that I wouldn't leave my own children for that long a day. Horses for courses.

Then I left the thread and it all went on until you went and got personal with me and then used the word judgemental and ignored everyone else who posted viewpoints along the same vein later on in the thread.

Okay, here, I'll try it again: as you were, people. The thread has obviously moved on until someone brought up older posts.

Assume nanny works 7am - 6pm.
It's the holiday. Kids wake at about 9am. parents get home at 6pm. Have dinner with kids. Swim and play in the house and garden until 9-10pm.
3-4 hours plus family hols. Sounds OK to me.
Nanny is having good time and is lazy whinger.

'an hour's lunch break and other scheduled breaks,'

was that to mine? because if so I disdnt get my thoughts across. I meant by breaks some time to do things like the studying with supervision 'lite'- them playing games, tv- supervised but not OTT nput.

Hell, I got my degree doing that with 3 kids and a newborn, and nobody was paying me (well the student loans peeps but the gits want it bacl LOL)

That's just how i'd appreoach it- regardless of annoyance DB hasn't stated sge doesn't trust this nanny and being able to trust your cm is so mportant that it might just make things worth considering

Is the nanny depressed? She sounds like she has grown out of her job and you need a new one that works for you and your family.

I'm a nanny, now moved into maternity nurse. For four years I nannied 13 hours a day, six days a week for four under six. I loved it, although there were times I didn't feel supported by the parents but I choose to be professional and talk to parents and we'd come up with a solution. After the fourth was born I was the one to get up with her until she slept through at nine months, I also did up to three weeks proxy parenting at a time. It was intensive at times and I certainly wasn't paid a fair amount for the work that I did, but I agreed to it and nothing can compare to the childrens unreserved love for me and all the lovely memories I take with me. My first two charges are 11 this year and I can't wait to see them.

I'd actually say I've got the best 'job' in the world as I can get to have all the fun with the children, have the snuggles and watch them grow but get to also have time off to to unchild stuff as well. Yep it's pretty cool.

I've never employed a nanny and am unlikely to ever employ one but this strikes me as wrong.

Surely when she signed up for the job she knew that FT care would be required when the children weren't in school ?

By my reckoning that's around 9 weeks a year (not including say, 4 weeks' parental leave) when she does have to be on her toes for a long stretch, but, 39 weeks a year where her job appears to be around 4 hours of childcare and pretty light household duties & plenty of free time when they're at school (have skimmed this, but this is my impression).

For that, she gets £300 net a week. If she was renting a flat on her own, she'd have to pay at least £550 for a 1 bed, or, say about £350 upwards in a house share. She'd then have to pay council tax, utilities, TV licence & insurance ...... say about another £200 for a small flat. She'd probably be paying £150 for food etc and goodness knows what on top if she was also running a car.

If you add up all those extras this woman would have to pay she'd need to be netting almost another £1000 a month if DB wasn't suporting her. That seems a very valuable package to me for a job which is reasonably undemanding for the vast majority of the year.

I think she's taking the piss ...... it's not as if the current situation has been sprung on her unsuspectingly.

i think it is ridiculous to expect someone to work 11 hours a day for 33 quid a week, even with accomodation and food chucked in. Thats NOT a good deal. in my profession if we are asked to work in excess of 40 hours a week we have to be risk assessed and sign a disclaimer to say we understand we are doing thisd at our own jeopardy. Gone are the days of 50/60 hour weeks!!

£300 not 33 obviously!!!! That really would be minimum wage....

But that's what nannies do! It's the whole point of the job. And live in is totally different to being salaried live out. The £300 is AFTER tax too. Plus these are older kids. It's hardly hard graft. It's no like your boss is looking over your shoulder or you have performance targets. And yes, I've done this sort of work, and it's not that hard. No housework for a start.

But that's what nannies do! It's the whole point of the job. And live in is totally different to being salaried live out. The £300 is AFTER tax too. Plus these are older kids. It's hardly hard graft. It's no like your boss is looking over your shoulder or you have performance targets. And yes, I've done this sort of work, and it's not that hard. No housework for a start.

It's swings and roundabouts though, she won't be working 11 hours days 48 weeks of the year and I'm afraid it goes with the job of nanny/chef etc etc they do work longer hours.
Having said all that I will never employ another nanny, I thought it was just me being fussy but it seems one really can't get the staff these days

willweeversell, actually there are other live threads boasting about working well over a 50-60 hour week. Anyhow, it is not illegal or even exceptional in childcare, and if it was not permitted the vast majorities of nannies and childminders would go bust pretty sharpish. It is normal to work a 10-11 hour day, as it is to cover for parents who are themselves working 8hrs plus commuting. If you go into this field that's how it is. Also wages are considerably different for people who live in, again it is how for many people having a nanny is possible. It does make career progression well nigh impossible though, and it is not a job I would recommend long term.

I must be naive then, who would actually boast about working 50 or 60 hours a week?

It may be the done thing, having a nanny and exspecting them to work long hours but I still thinks its a lot to ask. And £300 quid a week isn't a kings ransom, lets be honest.

It's £300 net, that would cost the OP £450 a week in childcare with tax and NI, it's an absolute fortune.
I wish we as a family had £300 a week disposable income because with her food/car/rent paid that's exactly what it is.

If you work out that the nanny costs about £450/500 per week in total then the family are basically paying her the national average in earnings. For this she is working way over the average working week of around 40 hours.

It may well be that the nanny has renaged on an 'understanding' that she would work these hours but all I am saying is just because the family are forking out a lot as they see it doesn't mean she is fantastically well off, if she is having to put in those hours.

She sounds utterly useless and inept BUT should you not have managed this before and be actively managing it now?

No use asking her for a scrapbook. Tell her she is doing one. Give her a list of useful activities and tell her she is organising at least two of them a day.

This is not a part-time job it is a full time job.