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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect my newborn to have at least READ the books before coming out

20 replies

Umlellala · 10/08/2008 05:37

so the books say

a feed
then they'll sleep, then 2-3 hours and another feed, no?

So how come I am lucky if mine will go an hour between 'feeds' and can't seem to stay asleep - even on me. Thought I'd cracked it with a sling today but it seems to have resulted in me now being up at this time (he has been awake - more or less happy - for over an hour. nearly two. gah, have been feeding and feeding but he ain't dropping off.)

Aaagh, I am BU I know. I don't think I had unrealistic expectations with dd but she clearly lulled me into false sense of security. Had so forgotten this newborn madness stage. Right, am going to clear up the front room. No, I can't because he has just started crying. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.

OP posts:

SofiaAmes · 10/08/2008 06:59

My ds forgot to read all the books too. He fed every two hours for an hour day and night. At 6 months I went on strike and started him with solids, put him in his own bed, in his own room and did cc, all in one week.
The good news is that he has pretty much slept through the night ever since (he's 7 now) and is hands down the easiest child ever although he still doesn't do things the way you are supposed to!

funnypeculiar · 10/08/2008 07:25

Ah now, you see, I don't think the problem is that he's never read a book .. it's that you have

soremummy · 10/08/2008 07:34

lol welcome to the real world of motherhood . It gets better for some worse for others... like having a demanding 15mth old whos into everything and doest sleep at night and has been downstairs with me since 5.15am but wouldn't swap her for the world (well maybe for a few thousand pounds)

Enjoy him he will soon turn into a stroppy 17 yr old like my son and you will wish for the days when he was a baby back, and you knew where he was what he was doing and who he was with.

soremummy · 10/08/2008 07:36

Just keep telling yourselg your such a fantastic mum that he wants to spend as much time with his mummy as possible

BellaBear · 10/08/2008 08:37

My GP tried to fob me off with the difficult babies are intelligent line. I repeated it to a friedn who thought about it and said, on the balance she would prefer to sleep than have a clever baby. I sympathise!

Pruners · 10/08/2008 08:41

Message withdrawn

blueshoes · 10/08/2008 08:53

lol, Bella, I can understand your friend's comment in the haze of sleep deprivation. Though objectively, it makes a lot of sense to go for the clever baby ... like we have a choice.

BellaBear · 10/08/2008 08:56

hers was the baby sleeping, mine wasn't (and isn't!), and I COMPLETELY agreed with her. Might change my mind if a) I get some sleep and b) it turns out to be true!

BellaBear · 10/08/2008 08:57

pruners - I read 'plasticine' and couldn't work out what you were on about!

Original poster

Umlellala · 10/08/2008 08:59

Ahhhh, funnypeculiar you are right, this must be what is different this time! I hadn't read any books before dd was born so didn't know what I was supposedly doing 'wrong'... (went through phase of obsessedly reading sleep books in the library when dd was about 6mths though, so now familiar with the idea that a newborn 'should' go 3 hrs with feeds and go to sleep awake and that dd is not an angel baby as I thought because she'd rather sleep with her mummy, and what we are doing is merely 'accidental parenting' )

I don't think he is too difficult really (baby loyalty kicking in ) - it's just harder to go with the flow - as we prefer to/have to -with a toddler around. And have Very Much Forgotten how we did REALLY go with it. And how much more I enjoy the toddler/children bit - though ds was looking v cute all awake and open mouthed at 5am this morning!!

FWIW my toddler (2.4) STILL doesn't sleep through but she is absolutely lovely (and we are all sleeping together for more sleep and her reassurance - and all got up at 8.30am this morning hurrah!)

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Niceychops · 10/08/2008 10:45

ahahaha

bloody books

When I was pregnant I sat up in bed conscientiously underlining all the passages that told you how to make them sleep/stop crying/burp etc.

I am now of the 'winging it' school of child rearing.

NineYearsOfNappies · 11/08/2008 10:06

In fairness to the baby though, did you actually post the book where he could see it? And with a torch since presumeably it was quite dark up there?

Hang in there; it's hard work but it really definitely does get easier.

Oblomov · 11/08/2008 10:15

Yeah I was so much better before. Before I read a book. Before I found MN. Before I was in ignorant bliss heaven.
Now I know more, I kind of wish I didn't.
Plus I am sure I have still got my 'baby-tinted specs' on. I remember it being o.k. with ds. Ask me in a few months, once ds2 has arrived and I am struggling to get ds1 to his school. Sleep deprived me and crying baby. I can see me coping really well. Then my tinted specs might just fall to the floor with a huge bump.

And he didn't read the book, you say ? The cheek. They all recommend that babies can hear music. And so if someone has a good Cd,
"Do this, do that, eat, bf easily, for short time, sleep, be prefect baby. "
Repeat:
"Do this, do that"

If anyone has one of those. Please CAT Me.

MrsBates · 11/08/2008 10:20

Forget the books. They all conflict and make you uncertain and convinced it's all better for everyone else. Just go with the chaos and try to enjoy the ride.

VictorianSqualor · 11/08/2008 10:29

Are you breastfeeding?
Some books tend to give lip service to this 2-3 hours between feeds but in reality it can be a lot mroe than that.
If it's breastfeeding read www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html#week1 it'll give you a much more realistic view.
If you're FF, the read that anyway and remember Ff is just imitating BF

Original poster

Umlellala · 11/08/2008 10:50

yup, breastfeeding this time - have done over 3 weeks exclusive bf - yay me!

But yes, I seem to remember lying to the hv about dd (demand fed mixed then/ff) - yes, she is every 3 hours (ha!). It seems to be another weirdo conspiracy/myth like the sleeping through thing. Don't get why all the lies

That kellymom site is fab and is becoming my lifeline/sanity (just read that link again, cheers) - was www.askdrsears.com last time

OP posts:

VictorianSqualor · 11/08/2008 10:52

I think DS2(17 weeks) is still only going about 3 hours between feeds...

taliac · 11/08/2008 10:54

The books make it up!

LOL at Bellabear's friend.

sweetkitty · 11/08/2008 10:59

Mine (4 weeks) sometimes goes 4 hours, sometimes 30 mins there is no set pattern, there is no routine, no two days are the same.

I threw the books out after the first one and now do whatever it takes to preserve my last scrap of sanity, newborns are very cute though.

Original poster

Umlellala · 11/08/2008 11:00

i don't think dd EVER went longer than 3 hours (now 2). But she is happy - tbh, I think I probably wouldn't wait longer than 3 hours before feeding her something now (or me for that matter - blood sugar?)

Yes, repeat (in my head)
GO WITH THE FLOW, GO WITH THE FLOW, GO WITH THE FLOW

OP posts:

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