To put my 2 year old on his potty in a restaurant?

[Volodya]

I took 2yo ds and 7mo dd up to town yesterday. We're on week 2 of potty training ds. It's going fine but I still carry a potty everywhere I go.

I was planning to get us sandwiches for lunch and sit outside but it was raining so we ended up in a museum cafe at lunchtime. Of course I tried to put ds on the potty before we went in and of course he declined to do anything.

When we were about 15 minutes into the meal, both children in high chairs, everything liberally smeared with pasta bolognese and spinach puree, dd's buggy piled high with all her lunch detritus (cool bag, bits of rice cake, muslin, blah blah), ds announced that he needed his potty. That tends to mean that he needs it NOW.

So rather than clearing everything out of the buggy, strapping in spinach-covered dd, packing everything up, picking up bolognese-covered ds, and heading off to find out where the loos were, I simply whisked the potty under the table between ds's high chair and the buggy and popped him on, crouching down in front of him so that (I hoped) he was virtually hidden from view. (It was not a busy cafe and we weren't very close to any other tables).

Within about a minute and a half I was approached by the waiter asking if we could "transfer your son to the toilets", citing health and safety and saying that he'd already had a couple of complaints from other customers! I said that I didn't see how this could be done, with dd, buggy etc and ds already on the potty...! The waiter was v sympathetic and said he completely understood but that he was in a difficult position because of other customers' complaining. Fortunately the situation was resolved at that point by ds standing up to reveal a clean potty...

So WIBU to put him in the potty in the restaurant in that situation? (WIBU to leave my house on week 2 of potty training?!) How would you have handled this differently?

Bowfing............

Can never be appropriate, sorry.

Whilst potty-training, I've always stuck to visiting friends-with-children at home or walking the dog in the forest. Both locations are completely forgiving.

If you haven't already grasped this was wrong perhaps we should have a poll lol.

When is it ok to put your child on a potty in a restaurant to do a wee (not pooh)?

a) when there are no other customers
b) when using a potty that has an absorbing disposable liner very much like a nappy
c) a&b together
d) never

d - for me.

Bloody hell, some of you are so uptight! It was a child having a piss, the op was obviously a bit flustered.

Those who say they would have complained, if you see someone struggling offer them some fucking help instead of sitting there with a face on.

People take potties out with them?

I mean, I know it's called potty training, but that's just a term.

What's wrong with just holding a kid over a normal loo?

When I go out for a meal I expect to be able to have that meal without watching anyone or any age go to the loo.

Nor do I expect to have to leap up and help some dopey struggling mother. I want to enjoy my meal with whomever I am sharing it. I don't want to be disturbed.

Call me selfish if you like, but I have to manage my life and all its stresses and strains. I have very little time to myself.

YOu can buy travel potties, but I imagine taking a normal potty out would be a bit bulky to say the least!

ditto for me lazaroulovesleggings. give her a break. or a hand. jeez.

ditto for me lazaroulovesleggings. give her a break. or a hand. jeez.

Tch, Blu. Bins are for being sick in.

BTW, fresh urine is sterile (unless the person who passed it has an infection). And while I won't go off on the whole sexual-unusual-practices thing, there are some people who for (allegedly) religious or health reasons, drink their own wee or bath in it - and plenty of advice out there about how fresh urine is a good emergency antiseptic for cuts/grazes and especially jellyfish stings.

I know a woman who keeps a potty on her dinning room, she allows the children to use it when visits are around even when we are cooking our meal (ie. fondue, raclette, or whatever) just feet away of the defecating children. IT'S GROSS! we were not spared that even when the first child was a baby, she used to ask any invitee who had children to change her baby (nappy changer available right beside the dinning room table, lovely!!)

I supose that one of the perks of getting divorced is that I no longer have to put up with dinners at that house.

Overmydeadbody. My ds1 would happily have been held over a loo from about day 2 of potty training. DS2 however is 5 weeks in and will only use a potty. If we go out and there is no potty he holds it in till he has a massive accident and nothing I or anyone else does will persuade him otherwise. I am not doing anything differently, its the child that is different.
So I take a potty out.
But, unlike the OP, I take the potty to the toilet and the child uses it there.

Don't we all Quattro, but I would like to feel that if I was struggling at least someone would show some empathy.

And if someone is letting their child piss in a potty in the middle of a cafe it's pretty obvious they're struggling.

Yes Flibberty, I can imagine children differ quite a bit on whether or not they use normal loos as opposed to potties, but surely that wouldn't happen if no potty where used in the first place?

(oh, and tweeni said pooh)

Well I agree with Quattro. I wouldnt interpret this as struggling, I'd interpret it as mad! It's really not rocket science to work out that letting your child use a potty in the middle of a restaurant is WRONG.

Struggling mother = mother at her wits end stuck at home depressed with crying baby and toilet training toddler.

Mother out for lunch in restaurant with baby and toddler is clearly able to organise herself enough to get out and about and should therefore show a little consideration.

totally unreasonable! Yeuch. And cafe were totally within their rights on the H&S front. Yeuch!!

I wouldn't do it but if someone was doing it and as you described trying to be discreet as you described it wouldn't bother me THAT much especially if it was just a little wee. i wouldn't complain.
It would however ruin my meal if the cafe smelt of poo, especially as you carry the potty through wafting it about.
I would definitely mind the baby for you and not mind being asked at all.

Nevermind, it's not the end of the world just a bad call.

Why does someone have to be depressed to be struggling? It's hard work,and sometimes we make crap decisions. THe op made a crap decision, but it didn't deserve the reaction it got.

Poor Volodya! It's not easy, is it?
We have a travel potty which folds flat and I brought it on hols with us. Of course when we were in the queue to board the plane, ds3 decided he needed a wee but I have to say, although I could have whipped the potty out, I did baulk at the idea of him weeing in front of other people so I sent my Mum running to the loo with him while we queued. ( My ds4 was only 9 weeks old BTW in case anyone is wondering why I sent my Mum, rather than going with him myself!)

Depressed doesnt have to mean struggling. I was just trying to give an example of someone who might be described as struggling. It didn't sound to me like the OP was. She sounded like she was out and about with a toddler and a baby (we've all been there, some of us with more than two kids) and that she just acted inconsiderately. If I'd been in the restaurant I don't think I'd have interpreted this as a woman not coping, I'd have interpreted it as disgusting! And yes, as a customer I would have complained!

lololol at Oldgregg,I clicked on that link with much trepidation expecting a pic of a steaming pile of manure!

I missed Tweeni's pooh I must patrol harder tomorrow, so many threads, so many Poohs

Has anyone enquired as to the situation of this thread vis a vis 'kicking off'...?

I was in Sainsbury's earlier and my trousers nearly fell to my ankles.

That's not really relevant but I thought I'd share.

I did not, however, take a wazz in a potty near any foodstuffs.