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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my 2 year old on his potty in a restaurant?

235 replies

Volodya · 05/08/2008 20:00

I took 2yo ds and 7mo dd up to town yesterday. We're on week 2 of potty training ds. It's going fine but I still carry a potty everywhere I go.

I was planning to get us sandwiches for lunch and sit outside but it was raining so we ended up in a museum cafe at lunchtime. Of course I tried to put ds on the potty before we went in and of course he declined to do anything.

When we were about 15 minutes into the meal, both children in high chairs, everything liberally smeared with pasta bolognese and spinach puree, dd's buggy piled high with all her lunch detritus (cool bag, bits of rice cake, muslin, blah blah), ds announced that he needed his potty. That tends to mean that he needs it NOW.

So rather than clearing everything out of the buggy, strapping in spinach-covered dd, packing everything up, picking up bolognese-covered ds, and heading off to find out where the loos were, I simply whisked the potty under the table between ds's high chair and the buggy and popped him on, crouching down in front of him so that (I hoped) he was virtually hidden from view. (It was not a busy cafe and we weren't very close to any other tables).

Within about a minute and a half I was approached by the waiter asking if we could "transfer your son to the toilets", citing health and safety and saying that he'd already had a couple of complaints from other customers! I said that I didn't see how this could be done, with dd, buggy etc and ds already on the potty...! The waiter was v sympathetic and said he completely understood but that he was in a difficult position because of other customers' complaining. Fortunately the situation was resolved at that point by ds standing up to reveal a clean potty...

So WIBU to put him in the potty in the restaurant in that situation? (WIBU to leave my house on week 2 of potty training?!) How would you have handled this differently?

OP posts:
tweeni · 05/08/2008 22:28

ladymariner - was it you who posted about someone changing a pooey nappy on a picnic bench at your school?

ladymariner · 05/08/2008 22:29

Yes, it was gross!

frasersmummy · 05/08/2008 22:31

ok so I am not terrible mother.. but not perfect..

well that seems about right!!!

tweeni · 05/08/2008 22:33

ewwww could you smell the pooh?

janey97 · 05/08/2008 22:39

can't believe anyone would do this, your ds is obviously not ready for toilet training as he didn't go as he had previously requested!! is he ready or is it you who wants him trained?? (they are not animals!!!)

tweeni · 05/08/2008 22:45

Ewe - i have changed ds across the sinks before or on the floor - wouldn't do it in public town toilets though. Did the cafe not have any toilets?

Flibbertyjibbet · 05/08/2008 22:45

Firstly,

yet another thread with my pet hate on. ITS POO NOT POOH.
Poo = shit
Pooh = Winnie the pooh.

Secondly, I was also one of the 'lone voices' on that nappy changing in public thread the other night. I also only ever changed nappies in my bathroom and expect visitors to do the same, thankyou.

ItShouldBeEnough · 05/08/2008 22:46

Chavvy Low life behaviour.The sort that is eroding decent society, but we are not allowed to demur.

ScottishMummy · 05/08/2008 22:47

but both are shitty.hate that twee winnie the poo and all its associated shitty merchandising

ladymariner · 05/08/2008 22:48

Yay, flibberty,

tweeni · 05/08/2008 22:49

Ladymariner - i bet she didn't even use a mat did she.

ladymariner · 05/08/2008 22:57

No!

yawningmonster · 05/08/2008 22:59

op I know you have had a bit of a bashing on this thread so thought I would add my experience to cheer you up. We went out for a meal with dh extended family which included 10 adults, one child of 18mths and our child of just 3. DS actually did go to toilet before sitting down for meal but when ominous drips started to appear from his seat I realised he apparently needed to go again. Now I had a choice of carrying a dripping ds past all the other diners therefore spreading the pee merrily all over the restaurant on route to the toilets or leaving the puddle to accumulate in one place (this was not a choice easily made). I made dh (who was mortified) find a waiter to explain what had happened (meanwhile ds is breezily eating his hot chips as though nothing at all is amiss) The restaurant staff were brilliant, they brought in another chair "you might be able to reach table better with this one" and mopped up the "spill" while I whisked a now finished ds to the toilets for a change. have not been back to said restaurant however

Quattrocento · 05/08/2008 23:01

I can't get over this thread, really I can't. It is one of the most extraordinary threads I've read. Is it really for real? How could you even begin to think that this was acceptable? I just don't get it.

tweeni · 05/08/2008 23:02

Someone once suggested on a different thread it might be ok if it was one of those portable pottys with the liner things that soak it up like a disposable nappy and then gets thrown away but i'm not sure even that would be ok tbh.

broccolispears · 05/08/2008 23:04

Obviously it's completely unacceptable. But logically it would have been very much more hygenic than when my dd had an accident and did a wee in the high chair in a restaurant a couple of weeks ago.

solidgoldbrass · 05/08/2008 23:06

I can see how a stressed mum might have made the wrong judgement call in a situation like this (and recommend pull-ups in future) but would also like to point out to the more shriekingly hysterical posters that actually fresh wee and poo, while distasteful, are not actually that much of a health hazard if they are emitted by a healthy child.
And has no one else ever had the experience of the child who, while wearing a nappy, still manages to excrete with enough vigour and volume to get the seat, the floor and possibly even a bystander um, spattered? No one actually dies from this (though the parent of said child probably wishes he/she could do so on the spot).

juneybean · 05/08/2008 23:09

LOL @ solidgoldbrass!

mamadiva · 05/08/2008 23:12

I have a 2YO DS who is no where near ready to potty train but when he is I will be trying with toilet instead of potty, obviously may not take but atleast try. Thats how myself, my bro, my mum and my aunt were all trained to avoid the oh my god I need a p[otty quick incident. Also may use pull ups incase.

Can I just say OP you are being so unreasonable to do this it's unbelievable how would you feel if a child started urinating wnext to you when you were eating? I know I wouldn't be amused and may I also suggest perhaps sitting near the toilet in future?

NorkyButNice · 05/08/2008 23:12

That is truly disgusting. Thank god he didn't actually do anything as I would have pitied the poor people who you would have walked past with a full potty on the way to the loo [bleurgh]

One of my friends always changes her son on the living room floor - I don't understand it when they have a fully equipped downstairs loo just across the hallway.

ScottishMummy · 05/08/2008 23:13

ok sgb you reserve a table next to the defecating tot whilst us histrionics baarf in horror.

handlemecarefully · 05/08/2008 23:14

Lordy! - I would have taken the child and potty to the loo, irrespective of the hassle involved.

Blu · 05/08/2008 23:17

I suppose DP's occasional habit of holding DS suspended over a rubbish bin to poo in public places was not acceptable, then?

I did put a stop to it when I found out.

LOL at the waiters delicate phrasing.

I can empathise with having made a snap panic decision....but would have been with myself afterwards, I think!

Blu · 05/08/2008 23:18

And tbh, for a wee, I don't think it was that bad, really!

tweeni · 05/08/2008 23:20

it doesn't say he needed a wee. but even for a wee sorry no!